The Firebender
by Master Mina
Summary: In a war-torn world, Ba Sing Se remains the last Earth Kingdom city untouched by the Fire Nation. Ayumi, a young refugee aiding the city's newest refugees, meets Lee, a bitter young man with a secret larger than her own. They are drawn together by a deep connection, but their secrets threaten to tear them apart.
1. The Refugee

1 - The Refugee

 _The city of Ba Sing Se is beautiful, in its own unique way. It is strong, despite its division. There is something harmonious about its segments._

 _I walk the streets of the lower ring, that is my home now. I am one of many refugees that have fled persecution from the Fire Nation. My father's estate was one of the last to be taken, ravaged by General Zhao, but I wasn't there to see it. My father sent me to Ba Sing Se when the first whispers of aggression were heard. He of course arranged for me to reside in the upper ring, something suitable for a member of the Ogawa family, but when I arrived I couldn't. My heart has always been for helping people, and there were people who needed help. I stayed in the lower ring, helping whoever I could, however I could, keeping my Ogawa identity a secret. Now with the refugees pouring in I'm needed more than ever._

I pause, hand hovering over my journal. _That's enough for today_ , I think. Another wave of refugees will be arriving shortly, my memoir will have to wait. I cross my small apartment to the window, taking note of the sun's position. I probably have about thirty minutes until they arrive, confused, hungry and afraid. After a quick glance in the mirror to ensure my appearance is presentable, I head out.

"Hey Ayumi!" I turn to see Codo, my next door neighbor who hasn't been subtle about his crush on me, waving like crazy.

"Hi Codo," I wave back, wishing for his sake the feelings were mutual. They're not. We went on one date, and I felt no chemistry. I told him we need to just be friends. He's respected that, but he hasn't given up on me coming around one day, or so his mother tells me.

"Where are you going?"

"More refugees are arriving soon," I say by way of explanation."

He nods, "Need another volunteer?"

"Why not," I shrug, "Many hands make light work, and I'm one short."

"Uh…" Says Codo awkwardly, glancing at where my lame arm hangs useless in its sling.

"I'm sorry," I giggle, "That was a bad joke."

"Well it's good you can joke," Codo smiled at me, his brown eyes crinkling.

It took me a long time to not be bitter about my arm. Not that I've experienced anything different, I was born this way. I loathed that I was so helpless. Not anymore, I've studied self defense and martial arts, and am competent for a one working-armed nonbender.

We make small talk on the way to the edge of the city, Codo much more calm now. In the beginning he would jabber and sweat, running his hand through his short black hair until it stuck up in all directions. Now he talks as if talking to a friend.

"My little sister started earthbending yesterday," he informs me, a proud smile on his face.

"Cami? That's so exciting!" I say truthfully, knowing full well that Codo's family had been starting to lose hope. Cami is a bit of a late bloomer, and she's told me before how scared she was that she wasn't a bender.

I can remember her eyes widening as she looked at me and stammered, "N-not that there's anything wrong with not being a bender."

I had assured her that her feelings were normal, and that if I had six earth-bending brothers I would probably be worried too.

"She's probably very relieved," I say to Codo now.

He nods, "And she's progressing faster than any of us boys did. She's gifted."

"Well girls are superior to boys," I tell him sweetly.

"You only wish."

The train is just arriving when we enter the station, full by the looks of it.

The refugees are greeted by the loud and self-admittedly annoying voice of our director, Uni. "Any refugees in need of occupational assistance, please see Ayumi."

I wave, propping my log book in my sling as Uni drones on. I swear the woman takes serious pride in making herself sound as irritating as possible. I zone her out and flip to my list for today. I have ten positions that various lower ring business owners have agreed to let me fill.

The first refugee to visit me is an elderly man with a kind smile.

"Hello my dear girl, I am looking for jobs for myself and my nephew," he says, gesturing to where a young man is leaning against a pillar attempting to look casual.

Nothing about him seems casual, nor relaxed or happy. He is tense, afraid and hurting. I can't help but wonder if his mood has anything to do with the large scar across his eye. Even though it mars his face he is still handsome.

"Let me see what I have," I tell the old man brightly, prying my eyes from his nephew and on to my book.

"You have such unique eyes," he observes after a moment, and I look up to meet his own.

"Unfortunately yes," I sigh. I have always wished my eyes were normal, but no, one is jade green and one is golden brown. People aren't shy about staring. Not that I blame them, my eyes are weird. Weird eyes and a useless arm.

"Unfortunate? Not so my girl, you should celebrate what makes you special."

"I'll try," I promise, my eyes catching on the perfect fit. "There's a Tea House that is looking for two servers."

"Did you say Tea House?" The old man asks excitedly.

I nod, sneaking a glass at the man's nephew, who is staring at me in mistrust.

"We'll take it!" The old man says quickly, looking like he just received the best gift in the world.

"Perfect, what are your names?"

"I'm Mushi, and this is my nephew…" Mushi pauses as a look of panic appears on his face.

"Lee," the young man cuts in, suddenly appearing and putting a hand on Mushi's shoulder. "Forgive my Uncle, his memory is failing him."

"That's right," Mushi says just a bit too forcefully.

"Right," I say cheerily, writing in their names. Acting as if I have no idea they're lying through their teeth. It's none of my business, not when I'm lying too.

"Welcome to Ba Sing Se, Mushi and Lee, you will be working at Pao Family Tea House." I scribble the address down on a piece of paper and hand it to Mushi.

"Thank you, sweet girl, and what was your name?" He says with a wide smile.

"Ayumi O-" I catch myself just in time. "My name is Ayumi."

Mushi smiles, making up for Lee's angry glare. "It is a pleasure to meet you Ayumi, I hope we see you again soon."

I direct them to Codo for residence assignment, and watch as they leave.

I haven't been that close to slipping up in awhile. _I'm Ayumi, just Ayumi_ , I drill myself, watching as Mushi and Lee talk with Codo. Correction: Mushi talks with Codo, Lee just stands there scowling.

He must feel me looking at him because his eyes meet mine, his frown deepening. I narrow my own eyes, meet his intense stare, not about to be scared off.

"Ma'am?"

"Hmm?" I look away to see a refugee standing in front of me, shaking and obviously exhausted. My heart melts at the sight of him and I banish Mushi and Lee from my mind.

The afternoon flies by, and soon Codo and I are walking back through the lower ring to our apartments.

"That went well, I think," says Codo.

I nod, lost in my thoughts. It's hard, as much as I love helping people. I can't help but feel their pain, their suffering.

"Want to stay for supper?" Codo asks as we stop outside his family's apartment.

"No, thank you, goodnight Codo." I want to write tonight, I've been feeling a rush of words building up on me that need to meet paper.

"Goodnight, Ayumi," he says as I walk away.

I settle in front of my small desk, taking my pen in my good hand and inhaling deeply. My father had always encouraged me to write, poetry, stories, simple journaling. It was only recently I decided to write my own story, all sixteen years of it. I take great pride in it, even if no one will ever read it.

 _I have always felt divided, torn between two worlds,_ I begin, my pen scratching slowly across the page. _My own body is a testament to that division, presenting itself through my eyes. The jade green of my left eye is the same as my father, the same as every Ogawa to come before me. A strong dynasty of earthbenders. My right eye is a different story. It is my mother's. Not that my father has ever told me, but I can remember. I have the faintest memory of her smiling down at me with brilliant golden eyes, kind, set in a beautiful face. I feel split between them, mother and father, I am equal parts._

 _I am an Ogawa, one of the most ancient and esteemed families in the Earth Kingdom, but that is only half of me. I am illegitimate, a fact known only by my father and myself. The identity of my mother has been a carefully kept secret for my own safety. People wouldn't understand, my father said. He is right. So he wove the lie that my mother died when I was a baby, that my mother was the daughter of a humble Earth Kingdom farmer. The truth is far more complicated._

I am falling asleep with my pen in hand, head resting on the open pages of my journal, drifting into the same tumultuous dreamland that always centers on one person. Yuna, my mother. There is a second person waiting for me tonight though, a figure with a scarred face.

"Lee?" I mutter aloud as I am pulled completely into the dream.


	2. The Dream

_2 - The Dream_

 _The wide open field that my mother and I meet in each night is nowhere to be seen. I am in an empty room, seated in a triangle formation with my mother, and Lee._

" _Lee?" I say again, my voice sounding raspy and dry in the heat of the room. He doesn't hear me. I realize then that the room is burning around us. Orange and red flames that grow brighter and warmer at my epiphany, as if they feed off of acknowledgement. How did I not notice them?_

" _Mother?" No answer. She sits silently, regarding me with a weighted look in her normally kind eyes. She doesn't seem to notice the heat. "Mother? Lee?"_

 _Lee is fidgeting, agitated, but he won't meet my eye. He doesn't even seem to notice I'm there. I am full on sweating from the heat at this point, feeling helpless that neither of them will speak to me. The fire grows stronger all the while._

" _It's just a dream, Ayumi," I try to convince myself, my voice scraping my throat from the inside. Burning._

 _As I watch, sweat dripping in my eyes, a tiny flame starts to dance on Lee's sleeve, growing larger the more he fidgets._

" _Stop fighting!" I yell at him, willing myself to move and put out the flame but finding myself glued to the spot. I watch helplessly as the flames engulf him. He writhes in agony, not making a sound, burning alive in front of me._

" _Danger is coming."_

 _I freeze. My mother's voice is everything I expected it to be. Melodic, gentle, full of love, despite the seriousness of the warning she is delivering. She's never spoken to me, in all my years of dreaming of her, this is the first time._

" _Danger is coming," she repeats, over and over._

 _Lee screams then, sounding like a dying animal as the fire covering him swells, scorching the dark wooden floorboards, rushing towards me._

 _I scream at the top of my lungs as the flames surge again, washing over me. I am burning from the inside out. I will myself to wake up. I beg myself to wake up._

" _Ayumi!" I hear a distant voice calling me, but I can't stop screaming. The flames are burning so hot all I see is white. I've never felt such pain._

" _Ayumi, wake up!"_

My eyes snap open then, a guttural scream tearing from my mouth. Gone are the flames that engulfed me a moment ago, and I realize I am lying on the floor next to my desk, convulsing.

"Ayumi?" Codo says tentatively, resting a hand on my lame arm. "Are you ok?"

I can't find the words to speak, my throat raw from screaming. Codo helps me up to sit in the chair, and I catch sight of Cami in the doorway. She is visibly frightened.

"What are you guys doing here?" I ask shakily, my throat feeling like it has been scrubbed with gravel.

"We heard you screaming," Codo says awkwardly, "I thought, I thought you were getting attacked."

"You heard me from your house?" I ask, stomach sinking. I glance down, looking for the flames that were devouring me just moments ago. I can still feel it.

He nods, "Pretty sure the whole neighborhood did."

Cami steps forwards then, a glass of water in hand. "Here, drink this." She glares at Codo.

Water has never been so satisfying. "Thank you both for coming to check on me," I say. Taking a shaky breath, I brush my hair from out of my face with my good hand, noting the tangled mess it's in.

"You were spasming on the floor when we found you, like a seizure, screaming like a banshee." Codo explains, nodding at my hair. He flinches as Cami smacks him, "Sorry."

"Let me braid it for you," Cami offers, coming to stand behind me. This isn't anything new, Cami has been braiding my hair for me since I moved to the neighborhood and she realized I couldn't do it on my own. It's somewhat calming, I feel as though I'm making up for all the times I missed out on having my mother braid my hair.

" _Danger is coming,"_ Yuna's voice echoes in my head, and I flinch, remember the searing heat of the flames. It felt so real.

"Sorry," says Cami, thinking she hurt me.

"It's ok," I say quietly, not bothering to correct her. I smile bravely at Codo, who's staring at me like he expects me to fall apart at any second. Or explode. He doesn't smile back.

"All done," Cami announces a moment later, having deftly weaved my dark brown hair into a sleek braid.

I thank them both again, hoping to settle the obvious concern on their faces.

"Are you going to be alright?" Codo asks, his expression telling me he already has his answer.

I force another smile, "I'll be fine, you two go ahead, I'm sorry I woke you. It was just a nightmare."

They exchange a weighted glance, as if silently agreeing that they don't believe a word I say. Surprisingly though, they go without a fuss.

Alone, I collect my journal and stow it in the secret compartment of my desk. I used to leave it on the shelf, but once I started writing my memoir I knew I needed to keep it safe. Also hidden in the compartment is my passport, the only document I have tying me to the Ogawa name, and a necklace comprised of an ember pendant hanging from a long gold chain. The necklace belonged to my mother, it's my most prized possession.

I close the compartment on my secret things and head to bed, hoping to at least try to get some sleep, preferably without any more nightmares.

After a few minutes of tossing and turning, I find that sleep isn't an option. My mind keeps traveling back to the fiery room, echoing with my mother's warnings and Lee's pained screams.

I grab a few loose sheets of paper and a pen from my nightstand, lighting the candle with my flint stones. Writing is my sanctuary.

 _I have lived my entire life without a single nightmare. My dreams are always the same, my mother and I sitting in a lush, green field. It is only ever me that speaks, telling her about my day or letting her know how my father is doing._

 _I used to try getting her to talk at first, asking her where she was and if she was coming home to us. She never answered, just smiling the same sad smile. She would react to my stories, expressing the appropriate emotions at the appropriate times. When I would speak about my father tears would form in her eyes._

 _I've never told him about my dreams. I was too afraid he'd think I was crazy, hallucinating and too desperately trying to cling on to whatever fragments I could of my mother. Hiro Ogawa is a realist who literally never dreams. I can hear his voice in my mind: "Yuna had to leave us, Ayumi, it wasn't safe for her here. Let it go." I will never let her go, even if all I have is my dreams. Maybe I am crazy?_

 _Tonight was different._ I pause, a chill running down my spine as the flames flash in my mind. _She was warning me of an approaching danger, and Lee, one of the refugees I met today was there. He was in trouble, but I couldn't do anything to help him. The room we were in was burning, and the flames eventually consumed us all. I've never experienced anything so painful._

 _Grandma Ogawa always used to tell me that dreams are important. That they sometimes have messages for us, or symbolize a deeper meaning. If she were here I would ask for her interpretation because I have absolutely no clue what to make of it. I just know I'm shook up._

 _The "danger is coming" seems pretty obvious, but what kind of danger? Does it have anything to do with Lee? The warning combined with the fire makes me think of the war, could trouble be coming to Be Sing Se?_

I sigh, dropping my pen and rolling onto my back. It's amazing how much writing helps.

I drift in and out of sleep for the rest of the night, jolting awake with every flicker of flame that crosses my mind's eye. By the time morning comes along, I feel as though I haven't slept in days. When I meet my green/gold gaze in the bathroom mirror, noting the dark circles beneath my eyes and my sickly pale skin, I realize I _look_ as if I haven't slept in days too. _Lovely._

A few minutes and no small struggle later, I am on my roof, cursing at the rickety ladder I just scaled with my one functioning arm. The sunrise is my second sanctuary, after writing. There is something particularly rejuvenating about the light hitting my face every morning.

Eventually it peeks over the outer wall, washing me in its warm glow. I breath in slowly and deeply, trying to banish my panic and discomfort. I focus instead on the way the sun lights the sky with vibrant hues of pink, red and orange. It works somewhat, and I am able to make it down the ladder with far more ease than I did going up.

Without a second thought I head off in the direction of my favorite tea house. Maybe all I need is a big cup of jasmine tea. Or perhaps a whole pot. I am lost in my thoughts, not noticing anything or anyone until I push open the doors and come face to face with Lee, of all people. I let out a strangled scream at the sight of him.

"Good morning!" I squeak after a moment's hesitation.

"What are you doing here?" He asks coldly.

I realize then that my usual place for tea is in fact the Pao Family Tea House, where I sent Lee and Mushi to work yesterday. _Brilliant, Ayumi, now you look like a stalker,_ I think drily.

Out loud I answer, equally as drily, "Looking for your manners, obviously they're not here."

His frown deepens, and he opens his mouth to retaliate.

"But we do have tea!" Mushi interjects from across the room, smiling at me kindly.

"A cup of jasmine, please," I smile back, brushing past Lee and snagging a seat near the window. The House is quiet, save for me and a rickety old man who is currently taste testing tea from four different cups. I can't help but cringe as he sips and smacks his lips incredibly loudly.

I observe Lee out of the corner of my eye as he works, robotically setting tables for the rush to come, shooting me the occasional loathing glare. The only visible difference between him now and him in my dream is that he's not currently in flames. He has the same tense and rigid posture, and the same sour look on his face. _His attitude is infuriating_ , I think as he glares at me again. Despite my discomfort from last night's nightmare, I can't help but react to his bad attitude.

I watch as Mushi approaches him with a steaming cup of jasmine, saying something I can't make out. After a heated conversation consisting of muttering, vigorous hand movements and bizarre facial expressions, Lee sulks over to me.

"Thank you," I say as he unceremoniously sets the cup down in front of me, sloshing a few drops of tea on the table. He grunts in response.

" _Thank you,"_ I repeat, enunciating each syllable as he starts to walk away.

He stops and glares at me, "You're welcome."

Mushi glances between us as Lee storms into the back room, shaking his head.

"My nephew is a complicated young man," he informs me, coming to across from me. "I hope you will not hold his attitude against him."

"I just don't know why he was so short with me."

"Lee is short with everyone."

"Even you?" I ask with a small smile.

Mushi chuckles, "Especially me."

I can't help but laugh with him, and it makes me feel a little bit better.

"You look troubled," Mushi observes, "And you're drinking jasmine tea. What is bothering you, my girl?"

"I had a nightmare last night, I didn't get much sleep after that." I say simply, not wanting to delve into the details. I don't think he would appreciate me piping up and announcing: _Oh by the way I stalkerishly dreamed about your nephew, who I just met. He burned alive in front of me._ It's better to stick to the basics.

Mushi nods knowingly, "Dreams can have a great impact on us, can't they. The bad ones in particular."

"You got that right."

"Do you have nightmares often?"

I shake my head, "This is the first one."

"And you're scared it has a deeper meaning for your life." It's not a question.

I nod, meeting his thoughtful gaze. Mushi is officially one of the wisest people I've ever met, and I tell him so.

"Thank you, Ayumi," he chuckles, "But I think the term 'perceptive' is more fitting. I will not claim to be wise. Not just yet."

"Well do you have any advice for me, oh perceptive one?" I ask, taking a small sip of my tea. I can feel myself calming down already, thanks to both the tea and talking with Mushi.

"Remember that dreams, while meaningful, are dreams. They may be warning you of something to come or something that was, but you need not fear the dream itself. Whatever will be, will be, so do not borrow worry from tomorrow."

"That was very wise," I tell him honestly.

"Perceptive," he corrects with a wink.

I notice then that Lee has returned from the back room and is studying us, the same mistrusting look on his face. "Your nephew doesn't trust me, does he." I say, a statement rather than a question.

"Lee doesn't trust just anyone, there are days when I think he struggles to trust even me," Mushi sighs. "But that is a byproduct of hurt, our wounds run deep inside us, still raw despite the appearance of healing on the outside."

It strikes me then as I down the rest of my tea that he is inadvertently referencing Lee's face, and I feel a rush of curiosity. Was it a Fire Nation attack that left him scarred? He's a refugee after all, so it doesn't seem so far fetched. The way Mushi speaks makes me think that it is a little more complicated than that.

"He will heal, but it takes time, so do not take his hostility towards you personally."

I smile at Mushi then, "You claim you're perceptive, but I'm perceptive too, and I perceive that you're wise."

"Well I won't question your abilities of perception." Mushi laughs.

"Thank you for talking to me, I feel better already," I tell him honestly. "I'll see you later, Mushi."

"Have a good day, my girl," he says as I stand up, heading towards the door.

"You too." I stop at the door and turn to face Lee, who is now regarding me warily. "I'll see you later, Lee, have a wonderful day today!" I say in the most bright and cheerful voice I can manage. Not waiting for an answer that probably won't come, I step out into the sunlight. No need to let him damper my mood.

A figure, cloaked in shadows, catches my attention in an instant and I stop short. It's a young man, crouching on a balcony across the street, dark eyes trained on the Tea House. He's slightly familiar, unruly brown hair dusting the forehead of a narrow face. I can just make out a long, hooked sort of weapon in each hand. His posture is tense and rigid, as if poised to strike.

He meets my eyes then, and as if realizing he's been spotted, he vanishes in an instant.

 _Am I going crazy?_ I think, wondering if he had ever been there at all.


	3. The Letter

"Ayumi? Earth to Ayumi. ...AYUMI!"

"What?" I jump, realizing for the first time that Uni is inches from my nose. She has an especially sour look on her pinched face.

"I sent everyone home for the day, you've been standing there stunned for the past ten minutes," she says, stretching her face into an exaggeratedly dumb look, attempting to mimic me.

"I don't look like that." I glare at her. I hope.

"Whatever, see you tomorrow," she dismisses me with a flick of her bony hand.

I watch her as she stalks off, humming something to herself. Even the sound of her humming is excruciating.

I must have really been zoned out for a while, the station area is practically empty, and the sun has already begun its descent behind the wall.

I stretch my good arm as I walk, fighting back an enormous yawn. I'm exhausted. It's been a week since I woke up half the neighborhood screaming from my nightmare, and I've had it every night since. I'm distracted and on edge.

The shadows are steadily growing on the walls around me as I make my way through the lower ring. The houses and apartments here are cramped together, the brown tile roofs mere inches apart. A person could run the length of the ring on rooftop if they wanted. It might be cleaner than the dusty street below. It amazed me when I first arrived, how they managed to build so many buildings cramped so closely together.

I've never felt in any danger in the lower ring. There's a perception that it's full of crime and dissidence, but I've found the opposite. The people are hardworking, they have to be. My father always told me that hard work builds good character, and I've seen plenty of good character here in the lower ring.

"Hello, young lady!" An old man waves cheerfully to me from where he sweeps his doorway, a bright smile on his face.

"Good evening!" I wave back, turning onto my street. I can see Codo and his youngest brother, Crowe, sitting on their front steps.

"You look exhausted," Codo announces as I stop in front of them.

"That's not a nice thing to say to a young lady, Codo," their mother Hela says through the open window as I chuckle.

"That was a comment made, out of concern," says Codo, his face turning pink. "You look radiant, Ayumi."

"It's ok, Co, I'm sure I look as tired as I feel," I reassure him.

"Still having nightmares?" Hela asks, coming outside to join us. Something is different about her. Her dark brown hair is glossier than normal, her face flushed and glowing. There is an unmistakable twinkle in her pale green eyes.

"Mhm, though I'm thankfully not waking up screaming anymore," I say, casting a quick glance at her belly. It looks just a teeny bit swollen under her dress. Could she be pregnant? I think. She meets my eyes then as if reading my mind and winks.

"Maybe you need to see somebody about that, like someone spiritual," Codo is saying, oblivious to the silent exchange his mother and I just had.

"Maybe they can interpret whatever you're dreaming about!" Crowe pipes up.

"What are you dreaming about?" Codo asks, a slight frown on his face.

Lee's pained face flashes across my mind as I simply say, "Fire."

Hela, Codo and Crowe's faces become sombre. No doubt they're thinking about the war. It seems like the obvious interpretation, but the more I think about the dreams I can't help but think there is more to them.

"I sometimes have nightmares about fire too, don't feel bad," Crowe says kindly, and I smile.

"I'm sure they'll go away soon, I'm sleeping better at least!" I say brightly, ruffling his black hair.

Codo grins, "And you haven't embarrassingly woken up the neighbourhood with your screaming!"

"Codo!" Hela swats him on the arm. "Try to be more sensitive."

I smother a giggle as Codo, who is a good foot taller than his mother, looks properly chastised.

I've come to love this family as my own, all nine of them. The boys get their height from their father, Nori, a mountain of a man with a full head of black hair, a thick black beard and dark brown eyes. Codo, Dane and Crowe have their father's eyes, while Reed, Kai, Cale and Cami have their mother's pale green. The four youngest, Codo, Cale, Cami and Crowe still live at home, the older boys have all gone on to make their own way. I can proudly say I can now keep all their names straight, a claim I couldn't make in the beginning.

"It's getting late, Crowe, I think it's time you got ready for bed." Hela tells her youngest son gently.

Crowe sighs dramatically, "Fiiiine, goodnight Ayumi, good to see you again."

"Have a good sleep, Crowe," I say, shaking my head as he stands up and reveals he is now officially taller than me. "He's growing like a weed," I say as he lets the door slam behind him.

"He's giving us boys a run for our money," Codo agrees, while Hela bursts out laughing.

"I'm just thankful you were all tiny babies, it made my life easier."

"Ok that's not something I really want to think about, I'm turning in," Codo grimaces, using the worn wooden railing to pull himself up to his feet. "Goodnight, Ayumi, I hope you sleep peacefully tonight."

I bid him goodnight, and soon it is just Hela and I. She motions for me to sit with her on the step, a concerned look on her face.

"I'm worried about you, Ayumi, I can tell you're struggling. Do you want to talk about anything?"

"I'm just concerned about my dream, and my dad, I haven't heard from him in awhile." I tell her honestly, realizing the latter for the first time.

My father is fighting in the resistance, odd for a man of his status, but that's Hiro Ogawa for you. He's probably the only man of status I can think of that actually enjoys hard work. The plan is for him to eventually join me at our place in the upper ring, which is slightly awkward because I haven't been there in months. My governess is staying there, she's agreed to check my mail and if there is ever anything from my father she forwards it to me. I then write my response, send it back to her and she sends it off in the official Ogawa stationary that is kept at my house. Complicated, yes. I've weaved an intricate web of lies.

"If he's anything like you, then your father is a strong man," Hela is saying, "I'm sure you'll hear from him soon."

I nod, "You're right, he's probably just caught up."

Hela sighs heavily then, putting a hand on her stomach. "I find I'm a lot more tired these days," she says with a subtle wink.

"Do the kids know?"

"Just Cami, and obviously my husband," she lowers her voice to a whisper, "We're going to surprise the boys when they're all home, let them know there will be another brother or sister."

"I won't say a word," I promise.

"Cami is hoping for a sister, imagine that!" Hela says, giggling. "I'm not sure why she wouldn't want a seventh brother. You know, you're a perceptive young woman. You picked up on it faster than she did."

The word "perceptive" makes me think of Mushi, which in turn makes me think of Lee. I tell her to get some rest then, and after she plops a motherly kiss on my cheek, I head home.

The thought of Lee makes me experience a wide range of emotions. Unease, because the thought of him leads to the memory of being burned alive. Irritation, because the few times I've gone back to the Tea House he treats me with the worst attitude. As if he's decided I'm not to be trusted. Most infuriatingly of all though, is the little flutter my heart does when I see him. The flutter is of course immediately squashed by irritation, but I'm unimpressed that it's even there at all.

I don't even bother to light a candle when I get inside, instead going straight to my bed and collapsing on it. It doesn't take long for my dreams to find me.

My mother, Lee and I sit in a triangle, on a hard stone surface, surrounded by darkness. I can hear thunder growing readily stronger around us, but they take no notice.

Lee is already in flames, twitching slightly, as if only just noticing the blaze. Again I try to move to help him, as he begins to panic, but I am frozen.

The thunder crashes right above us,drowning out the crackling of the flames. It doesn't drown out Lee's screams. Flames surge away from him rhythmically, burning me over and over again. I am crying from the pain while my mother looks on, not saying a word, not even her usual warnings.

Out of nowhere, our hair begins to stand on end, as the pressure in the air changes. I am moving forwards before I know what is happening. Hand reaching towards the sky as lightning strikes, meeting my skin. Every inch of my body is screaming in agony as the lightning incinerates me.

"Nooo!" I yell, bolting upright in my bed. I am drenched with sweat, and my heart is racing. There is no sign of lightning or fire, I'm safe. You're safe, Ayumi, I think, trying to calm down. I'm nearly hyperventilating and my fingernails are digging so deep into the palm of my good hand that I've drawn blood.

"How long is this going to go on?" I ask aloud, as I cross the room and dip my hand into my sink. The cold water soothes the stinging cuts.

With no chance of getting anymore sleep, I step outside, inhaling the crisp night air. The lower ring is quiet, its inhabitants all undoubtedly sleeping peacefully. I don't normally go out late at night, but for some reason I need to walk.

So I do. Quietly, so as not to wake anyone. I don't know where I'm going, but that doesn't matter. The streets are silent and empty, doorsteps dark, not a soul in sight. It's almost eerie, as if I'm the only living thing around. I know that behind the rough wooden walls, behind the peeling paint and layers of grime, there are people.

I focus on my breathing as I walk, inhaling deeply and slowing exhaling, trying to rid myself of my unease. It doesn't work. I walk for what feels like ages, until the sky begins to brighten, and dawn arrives. My shoes are covered in a layer of dirt.

I turn around the way I came, as the lower ring begins to wake up. Soft voices drift from open windows, and there is a general stirring. By the time I turn onto my street, the sun is officially up.

"Ayumi? What are you you doing out and about so early?"

I turn to see Nori seated on his front step, a steaming cup of tea in his enormous hand.

"Just out for an early morning walk, sir," I smile, stopping in front of him.

He cocks his head as he regards me, a knowing look on his face, "Are you sure it wasn't a late night walk?"

I can feel my face flushing, "Uhhh…" I can't bring myself to lie to him for some reason.

"You forget I too have troubles sleeping, I saw you walk by in the middle of the night," he informs me. He slams a large foot onto the ground, making an earthen chair shootout. "Sit," he gestures.

I sit, waiting for him to speak. Nori has been like a father to me while I've been here, welcoming me into his family with open arms.

"Hela told me about your nightmares, and that you're worried about your father." He begins, his face unreadable. "She may not have told you but I'm leaving soon, to join the fight again."

"No!" I gasp, my jaw dropping open. "You can't! Not now with her being-" I freeze, closing my mouth.

Nori's eyes widen as he realizes what I was about to blurt out. He casts a quick glance at the open window, shaking his head ever so slightly. "I understand it's not the most convenient time, but it needs to be done. My brothers are out there fighting without me." He runs a tired hand through his thick, black hair.

I feel a pang of sadness as I realize my second father figure is leaving. "When do you leave?"

"In two days time, but I think maybe I can help you. I can take a message for your father, should I meet him."

"You don't have to do that," I say quickly, "You'll have enough to worry about." The truth is I don't want Nori having any contact with my father.

"Why not? It's no trouble, Ayumi," Nori tells me, looking at me in suspicion.

I forget sometimes what a sharp man he is. "Well alright," I say then, thanking him.

He smiles, suspicion assuaged. "What is your father's name?"

"Hiro, tell him that I miss him and love him, and hope he comes home soon." I blurt out.

Nori nods, seemingly mixing my panic for emotion. "Would you like to come for breakfast?"

I shake my head, "No, thank you, I'm going to get cleaned up and then run an errand." I excuse myself then, practically sprinting to my house.

Washing my hair with one hand has always been a bit of a struggle, but I've gotten significantly better at it. Normal people probably don't wash their hair as aggressively as I do though. That aggression is in due in part to my panic. What are the chances that he would meet my father? I think, rubbing my hair vigorously with a towel. Stranger things have happened.

With no way of braiding my hair and not wanting to go through the battle of making a bun, I decide to wear it down, pulling it so it curls over one shoulder. Good enough. I've always liked how the dark brown looks set against the green of my dress.

I'm not hungry, too anxious to have any sort of appetite, but I could use a cup of tea. I'm probably seeming like a stalker at this point, but Mushi makes the best tea I've ever had. I nearly told him I wished he could have served tea at the Ogawa Estate when I was growing up. I caught myself though.

There is a tapping at my door then, soft yet persistent. Who could that be? Probably Codo.

"Mia? What are you doing here?" I say slowly as I open the door, blinking my eyes to make sure I'm not dreaming.

Mia, my former governess who came with me to Ba Sing Se, and who I hired to care for my upper ring estate and monitor my mail (while keeping my secret) is standing before me. Her face is taut with worry, her black hair is covered by the hood of her dark green cloak, as if she doesn't want to be recognized.

"I'm sorry to come unannounced, Miss Ayumi, but you need to read this." She brushes past me into the apartment, waving a letter marked with the Ogawa crest.

"What's going on?" I ask, snatching the letter from her, What could be so important that she comes in person instead of mailing it? She's never come here, I think. My heart plummets into my stomach as I read its contents. "When did this arrive?"

"Yesterday, Miss Ayumi."

I sit heavily on the floor, trying to calm down. My father has been injured in the war. He doesn't specify how badly, but it's bad enough that he's done fighting. At least for now.

"Do you know what this means, Mia?" I ask, my voice shaking.

She shakes her head nervously, "N-no, Miss Ayumi."

"It means that he might end up coming home soon." I stand up, walking to the front door, "You need to go back to the upper ring, do whatever you need to do to make it look like I live there."

"But what about you, Miss Ayumi? Surely you don't intend to stay here?"

"I will be at the station to meet the refugees every day, if he comes, I will be there to meet him, and explain." I open the door, gesturing for her to go first.

"Very well, Miss Ayumi, goodbye." She says hesitantly, looking like she wants to grab me and take me with her.

"Goodbye, Mia." I watch as she walks back the way she came, waiting until she is out of sight before I set off for the teahouse. At least I don't have to worry about Nori finding dad, I think.

The Tea House is busier than usual when I arrive, it seems Mushi's tea making prowess is no longer a secret. I grab a table in the back, ignoring everyone and rereading my letter. There is nothing in it to suggest that he's coming here yet, he might go right back to fighting. What are you thinking, Ayumi? This is your father, you should want him to come back, I berate myself, smacking my palm against my forehead. You just don't want your lies to be uncovered.

"Uh, can I get you anything?"

I look up to see Lee standing in front of me, an almost concerned expression on his face. "What, you're not going to demand to know what I'm doing here?"

He shakes his head, looking a bit chastised, "No, I know you're here for a cup of Jasmine tea, and probably a chat with my Uncle."

"Make it a pot," I snap, turning back to my letter as he leaves. That was rude, I think regretfully, shaking my head. He's always rude to me. I open the letter again, careful to face away from any curious eyes so they can't see the Ogawa crest, rereading the letter over and over.

"Is that from your boyfriend?" Lee is back, placing a pot of jasmine tea and a small cup in front of me.

"It's from my father, not that it's any of your business." I tuck the letter back in my pocket.

"If it's from your father, why do you look so miserable?" Lee asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

I glare at him, "Because my father's been injured fighting in the war, and didn't I say it's none of your business?"

"I'm sorry to hear that," Lee says, his face sombre. He actually sounds genuine.

"Me too," I sigh, before shaking my head, "Wait why are you even talking to me? Aren't you just going to stand across the room and glare at me like usual?" I snap.

Lee looks embarrassed, "No, I know that was rude. I just, thought it was suspicious that you kept coming here. I didn't trust you."

"News flash, Lee, I've been coming here long before you and your uncle started working here, it's got nothing to do with you." I say coldly, if only partially truthfully. "Where is your uncle?"

"I know, and he's not feeling well today," Lee says quietly.

"Ugh, of all days," I groan, wondering how Mushi has become my go to to talk to.

"Maybe I could try and help you? I'm not as good of a listener or as wise as him, but I could try," Lee offers quickly.

"Ok, my father has been injured in the war, and he might be coming here, except I don't want him to because I'm not where he expects me to be, and that's all I can tell you." I blurt out.

"Uh…"

"Thanks anyway," I sigh, pouring another cup of tea, willing it to calm my nerves.

"Sorry, I'm not good at this kind of thing I guess," says Lee.

"Don't worry about it," I assure him, glancing out the window. I freeze, blood cooling. "Do you see that?" I grab Lee with my good arm, wrenching him to look out the window.

"What? What am I looking at?" He demands, flinching away from my touch.

"There! The man!" I shove him out of the seat, and jump up, running outside. I am not crazy!

The shadowy figure vanishes again when it catches sight of me, leaving me rubbing my eyes in disbelief. There is no evidence he had been there at all.

"What is it?" Lee jogs out behind me, shaking my shoulder when I don't respond. "Ayumi?"

"You remember my name?" I say slowly, turning to stare at him.

He cocks his head, looking at me weirdly,"Yes, now what did you see?"

I swallow hard, glancing up at the balcony where the mysterious figure had been crouched, again. Watching the Tea House. Watching me. "I think I'm being haunted," I say softly.

"Let's go inside," Lee says gently, looking at me with mild concern.

I let him lead me back into the Tea House, my mind racing. Maybe it was a spirit, maybe it was just a man. All I know is that I'm afraid. The nightmares, the spirit-like figure, my dad being injured, Lee being nice to me, all very weird things. I have a feeling it's about to get even weirder.


	4. The Beginning

**4 - The Beginning**

 _I am not scared of my nightmares anymore. I do not wake up screaming, covered in sweat and tears. I have begun to try and discern what I am seeing. I analyze every minute of them, every variation. There are two things static in every dream; fire or lightning, and Lee. I wonder which will cause me more harm..._

"Good evening, Ayumi." I look up to see Mushi smiling down at me, a steaming cup of jasmine tea in his hand.

I slide my good arm over my journal instinctively. I don't want him reading about my debatable stalkerish dreams about his nephew. "Hello!"

"And what a beautiful evening it is." He smiles as I glance past him to where Lee is serving a wrinkly old man, his posture more relaxed than I've ever seen him. I think he actually just smiled. Mind you he's still stiff and rigid compared to a normal person. "Did you have a good day today?" Asks Mushi.

I shrug slightly, "It was neither good or bad. Yours?"

Mushi's eyes crinkle with a smile, "Every day is a good tea when I am making and serving tea."

"And drinking tea!" I add, raising my cup in a toast before taking a sip. "Especially when it's jasmine."

He laughs heartily, patting me on the shoulder. "I will leave you to write, Ayumi."

I nod, my attention turning back to his nephew. I'm anxious to understand what purpose he will serve in my life. There has to be a reason I cannot surrender to sleep without seeing his anguished face.

He meets my eyes then, seemingly sensing my searching gaze. I smile slightly in an attempt to look innocent before looking away. There's no good way to play off staring at him. So I will pretend that I was never looking at him.

I focus instead on my tea and my surroundings. Circling my good hand around the steaming mug, I let my eyes roam the teahouse. There is a gentle hum in the air as people talk quietly amongst themselves, feet tapping against the smooth wooden floor.

I sigh, wondering if this will be the last time I will see it. My father could show up any day now, and when that day comes I will have to return to my reality of being an Ogawa. I don't know if I'm ready for that. I know that people would think I'm certifiably insane if they new my true identity. They would wonder why on earth I'd trade the Ogawa Estate for the lower ring, but I'm saner than ever. I am truly happy here, volunteering, helping others. Instead of sitting in a mansion having people wait on me.

"Ayumi?"

I jump, realizing that Lee is staring down at me, a slightly amused look on his face.

"I was starting to think I'm invisible," he informs me.

"Who says you aren't? Maybe only I can see you!" I chuckle, wondering how we got from distrustful glares to friendly banter.

He nods at the cup in my hands, "I was wondering if you wanted a refill."

I nod, suddenly thankful that I had gotten Cami to braid my hair for me last night. "Thank you," I say, pushing the thought from my mind. Who cares what he thinks I look like?

"Are you going to become an author?" Lee asks suddenly, glancing at where my journal lay open beside me.

I chuckle, closing it discreetly with my good hand, "Considering I refuse to let anyone read my writing, probably not."

"You should share your work," he says firmly.

"Not likely, I don't think the world would want to read my diary."

He smirks, "You'd be surprised."

"Seriously, it's just me venting about all my problems and drama with my father." I smirk, "Boring stuff, unless you're good at advice."

"My father and I had a complicated relationship," he says quietly. "I'm probably not the best person to ask."

"Good thing your uncle is the wisest man around." I smile at Mushi from across the room.

Lee frowns slightly, following my gaze. "Sometimes he can be too wise."

"Do you want to take a walk with me?" I blurt out suddenly, wondering where on earth the bold Ayumi came from.

He hesitates a moment, a stunned look on his face, before nodding. "Yes, we're closing up here in a few minutes, so after that?"

I nod, still in disbelief that I actually just asked that, and that he said yes. I clear my throat as he goes to check on the next customer. I catch Mushi's eye from across the room, ignoring the pleased smile on his face. I hastily grab my pen again, taking a large gulp of tea.

 _I am about to go on a walk with Lee, maybe I can get some answers for why he won't leave my dreams?_ I scribble, _Who am I kidding, I want to spend time with him. As much as he freaks me out, and as weird as this situation is, I am drawn to him. I can make as many excuses about this being a mission to figure things out as I want, but that won't change the fact that I am actually very excited to spend time with him. I won't ever admit that, of course, but it's a very confusing turn of events nonetheless. This is the beginning of something good._

 _I can't help but wonder if my mother and father started out with feelings just like this, before things blossomed into the epic romance they shared. Did Hiro Ogawa give Yuna butterflies? There are so many questions I want to ask her. My father doesn't tell me nearly enough, he's not exactly an open book._

"Ready?" I glance up again to see Lee, an expression that I can only describe as nervous on his face. _Do I give him butterflies?_

"Lead the way!" I say cheerfully, hoping I don't sound _too_ cheerful. "Is your Uncle letting you go early?" I ask as I wave goodnight to Mushi. There is a particularly pleased look on his face.

"More like he demanded that I leave early," Lee muttered, shaking his head. "What?" he asks as I burst out laughing, holding the door open for me.

"Your Uncle," I step out into the cool evening air, turning to face him. "Does he think he's subtle?"

Lee smirked, "Doubtful, Uncle Mushi isn't exactly one for beating around the bush."

"You're really lucky you have such an awesome Uncle," I tell him honestly. I envy him.

He kicks a loose stone as we walk, not having chosen a path or destination. "Do you have aunts and uncles?"

"I did," I nod, "But none like yours." I glance over at him, taking a moment to study his face. It's his scar that faces me, and I can't help but be curious. I want to ask, but I feel like a question like that would make him close up.

"Did?" He clarifies, and I nod.

I say simply, "I had an aunt and an uncle, they both got sick." It's the truth and not something I like to talk about.

He nods, not prying any further. We walk not too close together but not too far apart. His hands are in his pockets, mine hang at my sides, open to the possibility of being held. I realize I have not thought about my dreams since we left the Tea House. It is somehow nice to just simply be beside him.

"So where are we going?" He asks after a moment, casting a sideways glance at me.

"My roof?" I suggest, albeit very vaguely.

"Your roof?" he repeats, raising an inquisitive brow.

I nod, "Best view of the lower ring."

We make small talk as I lead the way to my house, about how each other's days were, nothing too deep or serious. I can tell he's still a bit unsure of me, and the feeling is mutual. Not in the sense of unsure of the type of person he is, but in how I feel about him, and I'm definitely not sure how he feels about. That's not something I'm going to ask.

As we turn onto my street I catch sight of Nori and his sons sitting on their step, laughing raucously. No doubt at some joke that Codo cracked. Lee tenses visibly beside me, his eyes trained on the men.

"Ayumi!" Crowe calls, catching sight of me. "We're going to have another brother!"

"Sister!" Cami yells out the open window, correcting him.

"I'm with Cami, this one's going to be a girl," I chuckle as Lee and I come to a stop outside their house.

"Traitor," Dane mutters, shooting me a mock glare.

"Who's your friend?" Cami interjects, coming to join her father and brothers.

"Lee," I say, "Meet Nori, Crowe, Codo, Cami and Dane." Everyone but Codo gives him a warm welcome, smiling and shaking his hand.

Lee smiles a small smile, "It's nice to meet all of you."

"How do you know Ayumi?" Codo asks, or rather, _demands_.

"I helped him and his Uncle get set up working at Pao's when they arrived," I explain, frowning at Codo. He glares back unflinching. "We should go," I say then, not wanting to subject Lee to Codo's coldness any longer.

"Nice to meet you, Lee," Nori says kindly, as the others chorus their goodbyes. Lee smiles and nods, waving as we walk off.

I can feel Codo's eyes burning into our backs as we walk around the side of my house, finally out of sight.

"Am I stepping on Codo's toes?" Lee blurts out as we stop next to my rickety ladder, a look of concern on his face.

I shake my head, beginning my climb up to the rooftop. "I say no, but he might disagree."

"Do you need help?"

"I'm more than capable," I assure him, pulling myself up onto the shingles, and grinning down at him. "But thanks."

He is up in a moment, returning the smile. "You were right, this is a good view." He stares out over the rooftops, as I put my back to the chimney. He sits down beside me a moment later. Close but in my opinion not close enough.

"So tell me about yourself," I say suddenly, very much wanting to know everything I can about my mysterious refugee.

"Uh, it's just me and my Uncle, I have no other family left. I used to have a sister and a father, and my mother went missing a few years ago. Now it's just Mushi and I." He glances at me, "Your turn."

"My father is fighting in the resistance right now, and my mother died when I was born. And my greatest wish is that I could have known her. Or at least know about her."

"Your father never talked about her?" Lee asks, studying me in the dim evening light.

I shake my head, "Not nearly enough. It's too painful for him."

"What was your mother's name?"

"Yuna, yours?"

He frowns slightly, as if remembering something. "Ursa."

"What a beautiful name," I tell him, before changing the subject, asking him to tell me about Mushi. It's obvious I've hit a sore spot making him talk about the rest of his family.

"Mushi has been there for me through thick and thin, even when I didn't deserve it," he tells me, his voice heavy.

"That's how family should be," I smile. "My father is a lot like that." I wonder then if my father will forgive me for lying to him. He certainly won't be happy. I sigh.

"What's wrong?" Lee asks, leaning in towards me so that his arm gently rests against mine.

"I was just thinking about my father again, that's all." I smile at him then, not moving my arm from his, "This is nice." I am thankful for my moment of boldness.

"This _is_ nice," he smiles back. "Thanks for inviting me. And I'm sorry for all the times I just glared at you when you came for tea."

I chuckle, "That's alright, I'm sure I probably came across as sketchy."

"You're far from sketchy, Ayumi."

I groan internally, wondering if he'd still feel that way if he knew about my nightmares.

"Look at all the stars," he points out then, distracting me. The sky is so clear, the stars shining bright and too plentiful to count.

"I told you I had a good view!" I say with a smile, shivering slightly. Without a word Lee wraps his arm around me, holding me gently. Warmth envelopes me. I am fighting a smile, resting my head gently on his chest.

We sit in silence then, enjoying each other's closeness and the impressive beauty of the night sky.

Later, Lee helps me back onto level ground, his hand lingering for a moment longer on my waist.

"So, I'll see you for tea tomorrow?" He asks hesitantly, a shy smile on his face.

"Yes, but if you want a real view you should come see the sunrise."

"Are you asking me out on a date?" He teases.

"Didn't I already?" I retort, grinning up at him. I am definitely feeling butterflies.

"I will see you at sunrise, Ayumi."

I stand on my tiptoes and plant a gentle kiss on his cheek, "It's a date."

I watch as Lee disappears down the darkened street, sighing softly. I can hear the soft rustling of feet as someone approaches from Hela and Nori's house.

"Your _friend_ finally gone?" Codo asks as he steps in front of me.

"Yes my _friend_ has gone home," I retort, bristling at his attitude. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Making sure you're ok, I don't trust the guy."

"Well I appreciate your concern, but Lee is a good guy. I trust him." My nightmares flash across my mind, and I feel a flicker of doubt. I know there are secrets he's keeping.

"Well then you have bad judgement," Codo snaps.

I raise my eyebrows, stung, "Did you really just say that to me?"

"Yeah, I did."

"I thought you were my friend, Codo." I don't know whether I'm more hurt or angry at how he's talking to me.

"I am, I'm worried about you is all," he snaps.

"I think you're jealous." I say quietly.

I can see his face turn red in the pale light of the moon, and he fumbles for words. Closing his mouth he shakes his head and stalks away.

"Goodnight to you too," I mutter, turning back towards my own house. Let Codo be jealous, that's his own issue.

"Ugh!" I groan, slamming the door behind me. "Why is everything so complicated!"

Obviously nothing in my empty house answers, and I am overwhelmed by exhaustion. I collapse onto my bed, my head aching from all the drama. Things were so much more simpler when I was at the Ogawa Estate, perhaps because I was so sheltered. I don't know what's bothering me more, the fact I'm living a lie, my recurring nightmares, or the issue with Lee and Codo. I scrunch my eyes close in frustration, tears smarting, trying to ignore everything wrong and fall asleep.

 _I open my eyes to see my mother sitting in front of me, no sign of Lee. She is staring at me in concern and frustration. There is so much I can see she wants to say._

" _What are you trying to teach me?" I ask desperately. For once there is no sign of fire or lightning._

" _Danger," she warns. Her brilliant amber eyes meeting mine. "Danger."_

" _I know, I know!" I yell, throwing my good hand up in frustration. "But what danger!" She doesn't answer._

" _Is it fire? Lee? What are you trying to warn me about?" I demand._

" _Danger," is the only answer I receive. I can smell smoke, and it tells me the fire is coming, even if Lee isn't in this dream._

" _Do you have any answers for me?" I ask her, feeling more and more frustrated. "At all?"_

 _She stares at me sadly, silent as usual. I scream in frustration, smashing my fist against the smooth wooden floor. A low roar sounds on the distance._

" _What was that?" I ask her, not expecting an answer, and I'm not given one. Whatever is approaching roars again, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end._

 _I see a pair of large yellow eyes appear in the darkness and hear a final roar before I am enveloped in flames._

 _Flames so hot that I no longer feel pain. All I see is red and orange, the acrid smell of smoke burning my nose and lungs. I can no longer see my mother._

 _The steady stream of flames from the beast is unrelenting. I can still hear my mother warning me, "Danger!" Danger!"_

 _There is another voice, I can barely make out what it's saying, but I can hear my name._

" _Ayumi, wake up!" I hear it clearly this time, but I can't make out what direction it is coming from. The roar of the beast attempting to overpower it._

 _The beast comes forwards then, and I see the head of a great dragon looming over me, bombarding me with flames. Its face flickers momentarily and I see Lee, the flames now pouring from his mouth._

" _Ayumi, wake up!" He yells through a mouthful of fire._

My eyes snap open and gasp, inhaling a mouthful of smoke. The fire is real, and it is in my house. I can't see anything but flames through the thick wall of smoke.

"Ayumi!" I turn to see Lee crawling towards me, his face wrought with concern. "Get down and follow me."

I do what he says, not questioning why he's in my house and still hardly comprehending the fact that my house is quickly being engulfed in flames. The smoke is making me dizzy, and a moment later I collapse, I can't remember what I'm doing. My brain is so foggy, I just want to sleep.

"Stay awake, just focus on my voice!" Lee demands, grabbing my arm to drag me out of the house. I watch as smoke billows above me like storm clouds. So tired. Everything goes black.

"Ayumi!" Water splashes on my face and I jolt, my mind suddenly clear. I am lying in a small bed, my surroundings unfamiliar.

"Where am I?" I ask aloud, catching sight of Codo and Lee at my bedside. They exchange a weighted glance, as if trying to decide who is going to do the talking.

"Cami's bedroom," Codo says after a moment. "You're going to be just fine, thanks to Lee."

"What happened?" I ask Lee quietly, suddenly aware of how raw my throat is.

"I came to meet you for the sunrise and saw smoke, your house was already burning. I dragged you out." He says lowly.

Codo claps him on the shoulder, "He's alright in my books."

"Thank you," I say softly, reaching and squeezing Lee's hand. He smiles slightly. "Do they know what happened?"

"It started in your room," Codo pipes up, his eyes on where Lee and I are holding hands. "They think you fell asleep with a candle burning and knocked it over."

I nod aimlessly, keeping the fact that I was not burning any candles last night to myself. I don't want to arouse suspicion, whoever set fire to my house can't know I suspect it wasn't an accident.

"You can stay here while they figure what to do about your house," Codo is saying, a satisfied look on his face.

I feel a sudden rush of panic, my journal and my passport are still in the house. Not to mention my mother's necklace. "I need to go there, now," I state, sitting up and rolling out of bed. Lee steadies me, offering me his arm.

"You can't go back there!" Codo argues, grabbing my lame arm.

I nudge Lee to lead me out, "I have to," I say over my shoulder. To my surprise he follows us outside and onto the now bustling street. It seems as if the whole lower ring has arrived to watch. The sun is already high in the sky, I must have been out for awhile. Long enough for the fire to be put out at least.

Lee leads me through the crowds, and up to what remains of my house. "Do you need me to go in with you?"

I shake my head, slipping into the charred ruins, heading in the direction of my bedroom. Surprisingly, my desk is only partially roasted, the drawer that houses my valuables seems to be for the most part intact.

It takes thirty seconds for me to gather my passport, journal and necklace and head back the skeleton of my house to Lee and Codo. My eyes are watering from the putrid smell of my burnt home.

Codo glances at the small package in my hands, "What is it?"

"My most prized possessions," I say simply, glancing around the crowded street. I turn to face Lee, "I owe you my life."

"It was nothing," he says quietly.

I shake my head, "It wasn't nothing, I might not be here if it wasn't for you." I pause, a thought hitting me. Could this be the danger my mother was trying to warn me about? It was fire, someone burned down my house, but Lee didn't harm me. He saved me. I want to believe that my troubles are over.

"I'm glad you're ok," Lee says, smiling down at me.

I glance past him, my eyes lighting on a mysterious figure lurking in the shadows. The same figure with the hooked claws. My ghost. I know in an instant that it's not over. It's only the beginning.


	5. The Date

5 - The Date

"Ok, this is like having a big sister. _Finally,_ " Cami gushes, pausing from where she is styling my dark locks into some sort of low bun creation. I've really come to appreciate her hair styling abilities, it's an area I am _not_ gifted in. I've been having people do my hair all my life, not that I wanted to. When I was a little girl it frustrated me to have to sit still while someone styled my hair, normally in a way I didn't like. From a young age I've preferred to wear my hair down, letting it be free.

I grin, "You're telling me, I'm an only child! Now it's like I have six brothers and a sister." Memories from my childhood flash before me then, and I feel the same rush of loneliness I always felt. I wished for siblings countless times over the years, at times begging my father to magically produce a little sister or brother. That was before I understood how having children worked. I had one cousin named Naomi, she was two years older than me and I thought the world of her. She was always a sickly child, and we made quite the pair, her sick and me with a lame arm. We were as close as sisters; until she really got sick. We spent every moment we could with each other for one more wonderful year until her sickness finally claimed her. I was only nine when she passed.

Cami clears her throat pointedly, catching my attention again. "Don't let Codo hear you calling him a brother," she advises in a stage whisper, casting a look down the narrow hallway for her older brother. "I feel that might add to his miserableness."

I banish all thoughts Naomi from my mind, "You're probably right," I sigh. I thought it would be unbearably awkward when they first invited me to stay with them, but these first few nights haven't been as bad as I was expecting. It's been a tolerable level of awkwardness, but I don't know how to make the Codo situation any better, other than maybe by dating him. I'm not keen on that idea though.

Their house is quaint, with only the bare necessities for the nine of them. Ten now including me. There are a few paintings hung here and there that I recognize as Hela's handiwork, she is a gifted artist. Even more impressive is the fact that she balanced raising seven kids and keeping a house with time in between to paint. I've never been that good with time. There is one painting in particular that hangs above their table, a portrait of the whole family standing in front of this very same little house. I've loved it since I first set foot in their home. It is a visual of everything I ever wanted in a family. Nori and Hela stand in the middle, with the children spread out beside them according to age. Everyone is laughing, which is pretty usual for their family. Codo has his hand up behind Cami's head making rabbit ears, typical. It makes me smile and feel nostalgic for something I've never had all at the same time.

"Mind if I volunteer with you today?" Cami asks then, sticking a final pin into her creation. "Maybe I can find me a refugee as handsome as yours." She turns and plops down on her neatly made bed, a dreamy expression coming over her face.

A blush spreads across my own face, as I check out her handiwork in the mirror. "He's not _my_ refugee." I feel like a princess with my fancy new hairdo.

"Riiight, and Codo isn't my big brother. News flash, Ayumi, it's so obvious!" She tells me excitedly, a grin spreading on her face, crinkling the corners of her pale green eyes.

"I don't know what this is yet," I try to say, but she shakes her head, pointing at me.

"This is true love. What time is your date?"

"We're meeting at the Tea House after I'm done volunteering and he's going to take me to dinner, and then we're going to watch the sunset. Hopefully it's better than the sunrise because last time we planned to do that my house burned down." I sigh, I'm still bitter. The remains of my house have been taken down, an empty expanse of earth in its place. There's been no word as to what's planned for the land.

Cami claps her hands together, "How perfectly romantic! I expect wedding bells within the year."

"Who's getting married?" Hela asks from where she leans in the narrow doorway, hand holding her rapidly growing belly. I have no idea how long she's been standing there, but I hope it wasn't long enough to hear us talk about Codo.

"Ayumi and Lee, the handsome and mysterious refugee," Cami blurts out. "Hey that rhymed."

"We are not getting married, we've had one real date!" I exclaim, rubbing my forehead with my good hand.

"Right and then he saved your life, his sacrifice was an act of love! Plus you've had plenty of unofficial dates." Cami argues.

Hela smiles knowingly, "It seems my daughter has made up her mind."

Cami means well, and I know that she is just excited, but I'm nervous. She thinks we're at the beginning of some epic romance, but it could crash and burn just as easily. Like my house, disappearing into smoke. I want to be cautious, but I can't help but want to be near him. We've spent time together every day since the fire, but it's almost like he can't make up his mind as to what he wants. Sometimes he's close, happy and open, other times he's subdued, quiet and short with me. It's confusing, and that's without factoring in the fact that I'm still having concerning nightmares about him.

We say goodbye to Hela, and as Cami and I make our way to the station, her interrogation continues. She asks for nearly everything I know about Lee, which unfortunately isn't all that much. He is still somewhat closed off to me, but I don't blame him, I haven't shared all my secrets yet.

"So have you _kissed_ yet?" Cami demands as we arrive at the station, already bustling with people. She seems satisfied that she's done a suitable job interrogating me.

I shake my head, ignoring the heat creeping up my neck. A kiss on the cheek doesn't count. I keep the fact that I very much _want_ to kiss him to myself. I don't to overstep any boundaries with Lee, I feel like he could very easily get scared off. Like a skittish, wounded animal. A very handsome, skittish animal, that is.

"Well you better tell me when you do kiss, I'll need all the juicy details!" She informs me, before being directed off by Uni. Uni's pinched face brightens at the words "juicy details", as if she is hungry for gossip.

I walk off to my usual spot before she can say anything rude or obnoxious to me, or even worse yet, pry. I am not in the mood to deal with that today. When am I ever? I am normally a pretty patient person, but not when it comes to Uni.

I keep my eyes peeled for my father, searching every tired and bedraggled face, whether I'm helping someone or not. Will I recognize him? I haven't heard if he's back fighting or still in hospital, so he really could come at any moment. The exhaustion of today's refugees is tangible, I can feel it washing over me as they shuffle around the busy station. This war needs to end. Every time the train doors open with new refugees I jump, expecting to see my father's jade green eyes staring back at me.

The day flies by in a blur, and after helping the last refugee, I finally let myself breathe. There was no sign of Hiro Ogawa, I'm safe another day. I was distracted all throughout my shift, not paying the usual attention and care that I do to the people I meet. _Not fair, Ayumi_ , I berate myself mentally. These people deserve so much more than I had to offer them today.

"You alright, Ayumi?" Cami asks, coming to stand beside me. She dusts herself off, stretching up to the sky with both hands, standing on her tip toes. She fixes her pale green on my mismatched ones as if trying to read my mind, a concerned look on her pretty face.

I nod, plastering on a confident smile. "Just tired," I lie easily. It's partially the truth, I haven't been sleeping as well sharing a room, I've never shared a room in my life. I know, I was spoiled. I am working on adjusting.

"No doubt you're nervous for your date I'd imagine," she winks.

"A little," I concede, as we start our walk back home. The sun is still fiercely hot on the back of my neck, despite the lateness of the afternoon. The streets are emptier than usual, most people no doubt taking shelter from the sweltering heat. It is an uncharacteristically hot day.

"It's going to be the best date ever," she assures me, patting my shoulder, "You two are meant to be!"

"And how do you figure that?" I ask, shaking my head at her. Wondering how she can speak with such confidence.

She grins widely, twirling right there in the middle of the street, her black hair swishing gently around her. "It's fate, I can tell. True love!"

"You are such a romantic," I laugh, feeling a pang in my chest as I think about my mother and father. He had once described their relationship as fated, as true love. It didn't end well for them. My mother ended up dead, my father with a piece of his heart missing, never the same man. "Would you mind not to tease me about it in front of the boys?" I ask, thinking of Codo.

She nods fervently, we both know her brother would take it bad. I don't blame him, it's still an awkward situation. I admit I feel awful living in Codo's house and trying to pursue a relationship with Lee. He's stopped preaching that Lee isn't to be trusted at least, ever since he saved my life, but Hela warned me he still isn't over me. I admire her ability to not be biased, she honestly wants me to be happy.

"Did you find your handsome and mysterious refugee?" I ask, watching as a deep frown settles over Cami's face.

She slaps her knee aggressively, " _No,_ I did not. ...yet." She fixes her gaze on me, eyes narrowing. "You had better tell me when you guys finally kiss, and I mean that!"

I kick at a nearby loose stone, shaking my head, " _Alright,_ alright, you will be the first to know," I promise, chuckling as Cami nods in satisfaction.

"I have no epic romance of my own," she explains, holding her hand over her heart and contorting her face into a miserable expression. "I have to just live vicariously through you," she informs me as we turn onto her street.

Crowe is sitting on the front step, hunched over carving a small piece of wood, every movement he makes with his blade is delicate. He glances up at the sound of our footsteps, his face brightening. "Look what I made!" He says excitedly holding up the little chunk of wood.

It's a tiny bird, and as I draw closer I can see that the detail is stunning. "You made that?" I ask, my jaw dropping open. I shouldn't be surprised, Crowe has been carving for a long time, and he is very gifted.

He nods proudly, "It's for you!" He blushes then, looking at the ground. "Because you're my new sister," he adds shyly.

I hold open my good arm for him to give me a hug, ruffling his thick black hair. "That is such a sweet gift, Crowe. Thank you."

He steps back, his eyes widening. "Don't tell Lee, I don't want him think I'm after his girl," he tells me seriously, plopping back down on the worn wooden step.

"I'm not _his_ girl," I say defensively.

" _Yet,_ " Cami interjects, sitting next to her brother and looking at me with a satisfied expression.

I glare at her before smiling at Crowe, "He won't be angry at you," I assure him.

"Oh good," a look of relief settling on his face, "I like Lee, I don't want him to feel bad."

"That's very thoughtful of you," I smile, excusing myself to go get changed.

Once I'm safely in the room I share with Cami I assess my options, unsure of what to wear. _It doesn't matter_ , I tell myself sternly, grabbing a simple dark green dress from the closet.

I'm certainly faster than I used to be at dressing myself with one hand. It's a complicated procedure of getting the dress on with one arm in its sleeve, and then using the sleeved hand to try to wrench my bad arm through the second sleeve. Sometimes I need to lay down, or bend over, or utilize my legs to get it done. Today though, it slips easily into place.

My hair is still presentable from how Cami styled it this morning, and I don't want to go through the trouble of perfecting myself right now. I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard, and It's time to go.

Everyone is gathered on the porch when I step outside, some sitting on the steps or balancing on the railing. Dane is currently laying face down on the rough wooden floor, his dark hair covered in dust.

They all turn at the sound of the door opening, and catching sight of me Cami blurts out, "Looking sharp, Ayumi!"

I blush, "I'll see you all later, don't wait up for me." All the attention is making me uncomfortable.

"Enjoy your date," Dane sniggers, lifting his head up to wink as I walk past, eliciting a glare from Codo and a tap on the arm from Cami's boot.

I stick my tongue out at him, sliding past where Nori sits blocking the steps and hopping onto the ground. I have just a few minutes to get there in time for us to make our dinner reservation. "I will!" I call brightly over my shoulder as I take off down the street.

I practically skip on my way to the Tea House, feeling an unnecessarily large amount of excitement. I can't help but feel nervous too, and on edge. I am a mess of emotions.

I return a smile from a little earthbending girl who is training with her older brother, learning stances as I pass. There is a look of intense concentration on her face as she bends her knees, bringing her fists into her sides slowly, imitating her brother. I can't help but feel a pang of longing. Being a non bender is my greatest shortcoming, besides having a lame arm. I've never complained aloud, but watching my family of earthbenders hasn't been easy. Even Naomi, who never had enough strength to make it through a day inherited the Ogawa family earthbending abilities. Not me.

By the time I arrive outside the Tea House, Lee is already waiting, leaning casually against the outer wall, arms folded over his chest. His face brightens at the sight of me.

"Hi," I say, stopping in front of him, a smile tugging at my lips. He looks very handsome in his deep green shirt and black vest.

He smiles back, pushing himself off the wall and offering me his elbow, "Hi. Ready?"

"Lead the way," I say brightly, falling into step beside him. I glance quickly over my shoulder, catching sight of Mushi peeking his head out the door at us, giving me a thumbs up.

I grin back, turning around to look at Lee. "So where are you taking me?" I ask, watching as a small smile forms on his face.

"It's a surprise." He says softly. I've always hated surprises, but I'm not about to tell him that.

When we pull up outside Ming's, the classiest joint in the lower ring, famous for its legendary noodle bowls, I realize I can live with this surprise. My mouth waters as the scent of garlic and spices I can't even name drifts out the wide doorway. I've always liked to look at the building when I walk by it, staring in its many windows, appreciating the emerald and gold accents on the roof and windows. I've never actually been inside, and I tell him so.

"Good, I was hoping to show you something new." He says proudly, leading me inside and requesting a reservation for "Lee and Ayumi". I like the sound of our names together, and I think he must too because he smiles as he says it.

The waiter leads us through the bustling restaurant to an intimate table in the back corner, adorned with a gorgeous white lotus and a small two small tea lights drifting in little wooden bowls. It is a simple but beautiful effect.

"Did you arrange all of this?" I ask him, settling into my chair after he pulls it away from the table for me.

"Maybe…" He says cryptically, sliding me back into the table and sitting across from me, a satisfied smile on his face.

"It's perfect," I say honestly, turning to study my menu. It has just hit me how famished I am. I spot a rendition of my favourite meal of all time a moment later, my mind flashing back to all the times I had our cooks at the Ogawa Estate make it for me. A heavenly noodle bowl mixed with beef and broccoli, and topped with hot sauce.

"That was quick," Lee smiles, still trying to decide what he wants.

I grin, "I'm a creature of habit." While he tries to decide what he's going to have, I take a moment to study the people around me. There are families, and there are couples. Boys and girls leaning onto their tables, staring deep into each other's eyes, enjoying a romantic evening out. I wonder if we'll ever look like that. I'm sure to the general public we look like a pair of friends.

"May I take your order?" I jump, the waiter having materialized out of seemingly thin air. He listens patiently as we take turns relaying what we want, and then after topping off our drinks, leaves with a slight bow.

I smile, meeting Lee's eyes. I can't get over how handsome he is, even with his scar. I wonder then what he looked like before it, and what he would look like now without it. All he's said is that he's had it for awhile, and I can tell it's a painful subject for him. It takes all of my strength not to bug him tell me what happened.

"What?" He asks, a defensive look coming over his face as he realizes I'm staring at it.

I shake my head, "nothing." His guard is going up, his mood souring. "Tell me about your day!" I say brightly, trying to distract him.

He shrugs, "Just another day serving tea, I don't have the love and devotion for it that my Uncle does." He allows himself a small smile.

Our waiter returns a moment later, two steaming noodle bowls balancing on his tray. He looks back and forth between us as he presents the food, perhaps trying to understand our dynamic. _Good luck,_ I think. Lee's contrasting emotions are somewhat hard for even me to follow.

"Enjoy," says the waiter, bowing deeply and leaving us in peace.

I twirl my chopsticks in the bowl, listening to my grumbling stomach, inhaling a myriad of scents that make my mouth water. The first bite is pure heaven, rich and spicy at the same time. I almost feel like I'm at home again, having noodle bowl night with my father. His favourite was just simply a plain bowl of noodles with a copious amount of garlic, a combination that always made me grimace. I see now that it was a reflection of his simplistic character.

"How is it?" I ask Lee, noting his proper behaviour. He sits up straight, taking small bites, chewing with his mouth neatly closed. It strikes me then that he exudes similar characteristics of someone who was brought up in the upper class. I've never thought twice about it before, writing his mannerisms off as simply being a gentleman. Could he secretly be a displaced noble as well? _Don't be silly, Ayumi,_ I chide myself mentally, _don't go looking for a dramatic story where there isn't one._

Lee grins, having relaxed significantly. "Easily the best thing I've ever tasted." We both must have been hungry because we're done in record time.

A loud slurping sound catches our attention and we turn to see the man at the table next to us sloppily inhaling noodles at an alarming rate. I smother a laugh as one noodle smacks him in the nose from the momentum. Lee hides a smile as we share an entertained look. The man's date however, a snooty looking woman with more makeup on than a circus clown, doesn't look impressed.

Despite my protests, Lee pays for the meal. I can't help but feel guilty. I feel the same way about staying with Nori and Hela, but they don't know I've been the one discreetly leaving money in their mailbox. I couldn't in good conscience impose on them without providing compensation, not knowing the contents of the Ogawa vault. I let them think it is the actions of kind stranger.

As we stand, Lee offers me his arm again, leading me out into the cool evening air. The sky has just begun to be streaked with the vibrant colours that signify sunset. "You look beautiful tonight," he tells me quietly, almost shyly.

"You clean up pretty well yourself, sir," I tease, nudging him gently with my shoulder. He smiles at that, looking pleased with himself.

We walk back to Pao's quietly, neither feeling the need to speak, simply enjoying each other's company. I appreciate that about us, the past few days we've spent together we discovered that we don't _need_ to be constantly talking. I've never been able to sit in silence with someone and have it not be awkward. To have it simply be enough to be in their presence.

The wind picks up by the time we reach Pao's, freeing a few tendrils of my dark hair from their prison. They blow into Lee's face, tickling his nose and making him sneeze. I grin, "Sorry."

He shakes his head, leading me to the ladder on the far side of the Tea House, gesturing for me to go first. Steeling myself, I begin my slow climb up. It's a taller ladder than my own, but I'm not afraid. I grip the rough wood of the ladder with my good hand, pulling myself slower than usual. I let myself breathe when I finally slip onto the rough shingles. Lee's head pokes up above the roof a moment later, smiling at me.

"I'm glad you agreed to go out with me," he says sincerely, dusting himself off and sitting beside me. We both lean back, reclining on the gentle slope of the roof.

"I'm glad you asked me," I smile back, staring up at the sky. "Although I asked you first." I feel him turn to look at me, studying me.

"What do you want to do with your life?" I ask suddenly, wanting to know more about him, to know him on a deeper level.

"Regain my honour," he blurts out instantly, his voice hard. He sits up then, rubbing a hand through his hair in agitation.

"Did you lose it?" I tease gently without thinking.

Lee frowns deeply, "It's a long story," he says cryptically. "You?" The bitterness I hear in his voice tells me I've struck a nerve.

"I want to help people." I answer quickly. "I want to start an orphanage." That part is true, but what I don't say is that it's my dream for the Ogawa Estate. If I can ever return it to its former glory before being ravaged by Zhao the Conqueror.

"You know, somehow I can see you doing that and it being the perfect fit for you." His face brightens again as he smiles at me, his hand finding mine where it lays on the shingles, holding it gently.

"Do you ever wish you were a bender?" I ask him then, smiling at the feeling of his hand holding mine. I have wondered this since he first shared with me that he wasn't a bender either. Does he feel the same way as me?

"No," he answers quietly, without any contemplation. Somehow I don't entirely believe him.

I stare up at the sky again, inhaling the crisp evening air. The colors are phenomenal, a range of reds, pinks, oranges and purples, giving way to the deep blue of the night sky. A few stars have already started to shine, tiny pinpricks of light against a vivid canvass.

"It's beautiful," I breathe, sitting up and tilting back my head, wishing I could freeze time and be in this moment forever. I turn to meet his gaze, noting his weighted expression. "What?" I ask, feeling my breath hitch in my throat.

He says nothing, his eyes flitting between my lips and my eyes. Without any warning, and before I can think twice, I lean in and kiss him. Gently, wishing I could convey everything I'm feeling in one action.

When we pull apart a moment later, I can't help but blush. "Is it weird that I've been wanting to do that for awhile?" I ask shyly.

He chuckles, shaking his head, "Only as weird as me wanting you to do that for awhile, or to do it myself."

"And if I wanted to do it again?" I ask quietly, my smile slipping from my face, suddenly feeling unsure of myself.

He leans forward and kisses me back in answer, sliding his hand around the back of my neck, weaving his fingers in my hair. I cup his face with my good hand as he lays me back against the roof. His touch is incredibly gentle, and I can't help but smile.

"What?" He asks, pulling back to stare at me, his expression worried.

"I'm happy," I say honestly, watching as he smiles back. I fight the urge to pull his body back against mine and smother him with more kisses.

"I'm happy too," he sits up again, clearing his throat. He looks rather rattled, much like how I'm feeling.

"I've got to get up early tomorrow to volunteer, how about you walk me home?" I suggest, shivering slightly in the cool evening air.

He leads the way down the ladder this time, helping me down to the ground once again. This time he turns me around and plops a kiss on my nose.

"You missed," I tease, tapping a finger against my lips, which he promptly kisses.

"So what does this mean?" He asks quietly, his eyes searching mine.

I shrug helplessly, "I'm not sure, I guess we'll have to figure that out."

"Does it mean I can kiss you whenever I feel like it?" A small smile plays on his lips. "Because I have to admit I enjoyed that."

I nod, a goofy grin on my face, "I wouldn't have a problem with that."

"Good," he tells me, scooping me up and kissing me once more, pressing my body against his. Setting me gently down, he offers me his elbow. "I thought I'd do that now because I'm not really keen doing it outside Codo's house."

"Smart," I say a bit breathlessly, following him out onto the road.

 _Cami is going to love this._


	6. The Fountain

6 - The Fountain

"...And then we kissed." I say, watching as Cami presses her hand to her chest dramatically, falling back against her bed.

"I _knew it_!" She squeals, sitting back up to glare at me a second later. "And you didn't tell me about this the second you got home because… Why?"

"You were sleeping so peacefully!" I protest. "I didn't want to disturb you!"

Cami points a finger at me, "In the future, _always_ wake me up for juicy details. Wait, who initiated this kissing?"

I shrug, feeling my cheeks turning pink, not saying a word.

"You did _not_!" She shrieks, dancing in her spot on her bed. "Ayumi you sly, sly girl. I'm so proud. Details, immediately!"

"Well, we were sitting on the roof, and I just kissed him, I couldn't help it. And then _we_ kissed, and then he kissed me," I tell her, keeping my voice low in case anyone is eavesdropping.

A mock expression of shock comes over her face, "Oh so you didn't just kiss, you _kiss kissed."_ She grins then, clapping her hands. "So what was it like?"

I think back to the night before, remembering how it felt to share a physical connection with Lee, how gentle he was with me. I can't help but blush at the memory. "It was nice," I say aloud, clearing my throat.

"Of _all_ the adjectives you could have used to describe your first make-out session with Mr. Handsome and Mysterious, you choose _nice?"_ She glares at me, shaking her head. "I was expecting _breathtaking_ or _romantic,_ maybe _sensual, tantalizing_ or... _titillating_."

"Cami!" I squeak, my face turning red. "You can't say things like that!"

"Hey we're both mature young women here," She winks at me, "Besides, the colour of your face is telling me I'm on the right track."

I refuse to admit to anything so scandalous, marvelling at how much of a jokester she's become in the last while. "I'm still not sure what's even happening between us," I tell her honestly. We haven't exactly defined whatever our relationship is yet. All I know is that he gives me butterflies, and I really like kissing him.

"Don't stress it, just let things happen the way they're going to happen," Cami says wisely. "That's what my dad always says, anyways."

Honestly that's the part that scares me, that this is going to play out however it's going to play out, and I have no say in it. What if the way things are supposed to happen isn't good. I'm still having terrifying nightmares wherein the guy I'm sort of seeing burns me to a crisp. Not exactly a comforting omen.

"What if we're going too fast?" I ask Cami, tapping my hand on my leg nervously. "I hardly know him."

She sighs, "Ayumi, too fast would be you two deciding to get married tomorrow. So what, you feel a physical pull, let yourself be pulled! Get to know him as you go, and if both of you want, then _get to know_ each other too," she winks.

"You are too much," I laugh, feeling my face turning pink once again.

"That's what they tell me. What do you two have planned for tonight?" Cami asks, leaning against the wall, stifling a yawn.

I smile slightly, "I'm taking him to the Firelight Fountain after Nori's goodbye supper, and then we're going for tea."

"Tea, I'm not surprised, that's your guys' thing, isn't it." Her face brightens, "Firelight Fountain though is sooo romantic. Is he coming to supper tonight? Mom said she told you to invite him."

"No," I shake my head, "I thought it might be too serious of a step, I don't want to make him uncomfortable. Plus it would be awkward with Codo here."

"You're probably right, and _we_ should probably get going to the station!" She winks, hopping off the bed and giving me a hand up. "I'm not giving up on finding my dream man at the station just yet!"

"That's the spirit!" I chuckle, following her out and through the house, waving at Hela who is already working on something special in the kitchen for Nori's goodbye party.

Cami starts humming some familiar tune as we walk, and my mind drifts to my cousin, Naomi. I have no idea why she's been on my mind so much recently, but I don't mind the odd resurgence of buried childhood memories. She was my best friend. Despite being sickly, her name suited her well. Naomi means "beautiful", and she had certainly inherited our grandmother's natural beauty. The only difference between them was while Naomi's eyes were the Ogawa Jade, our grandma's were storm cloud grey. Our grandfather, Fei Ogawa, used to tell us about how he had heard legends about the beautiful Jia, and when he first saw her he fell instantaneously and irrevocably in love. I used to think he was over exaggerating, but then our grandma told us they were married just one month after they met. I come from a family of romantics, apparently: Fei and Jia, Hiro and Yuna… I'm not naming Lee and I in that list just yet, we'll see what happens.

"What's on your mind?" Cami asks then, startling me back to reality.

I meet her inquisitive gaze for a moment, "My cousin, Naomi." I realize then that I've never divulged anything about my family beyond my father to Cami or her family. I guess it's because I've trying to keep myself from being identified as an Ogawa.

"You have a cousin?" Cami's face brightens, "Where does she live? Can I meet her sometime?"

"Naomi passed on a few years back," I clear my throat, still finding it hard to say it out loud, even after seven years. "But I'm sure you two would have got along great," I add honestly. Naomi would be all over teasing me about Lee, and just as excited as Cami is to hear the "juicy details". Even as a child she loved romance and drama. "She would have been eighteen," I muse aloud, marvelling at how fast time has gone by.

"Oh Ayumi, I'm so sorry," her face falls. "What was she like?"

"Confident, outgoing and flirty from a _very_ young age," I smile. "She had her first boyfriend when she was six. I have no doubts that she would be already married by now if she was still here."

Cami smiles at this, "She sounds like she would have been fun."

"She was, and she was the one to start breaking me out of my shell very early on. Honestly I owe a big part of who I am today to her. I also owe any time I got in trouble to her as well." I grin, "One time when I was seven and she was nine, she convinced me that we should give each other haircuts. Needless to say, it was a bit of a catastrophe, considering I had only one working arm and neither us had any haircutting experience."

"Oh no!" Cami laughs. "Did you get into trouble?"

I shake my head, "All my father did was laugh. Naomi's parents on the other hand… They were significantly more strict. She got quite the scolding."

"Were your dads siblings or your moms?" Cami asks as we make our final turn towards the station.

"Brothers, her dad was my dad's older brother. They were polar opposites!" I say, kicking a loose stone as I think about my Uncle Fei Ogawa the fifth and Aunt Pearl. Losing Naomi destroyed them. They say Aunt Pearl died of a broken heart, while Uncle Fei got sick a year ago and passed on not a month later. There has been a lot of death in my family. There have also been a lot of Fei Ogawa's.

"You'll have to tell me more stories!" Cami states as we step into the station. She gasps, barely dodging a mountain of a man who is barrelling along without paying any attention to where he is going.

Uni materializes out of nowhere, glaring at me. "What stories?"

"Stories about my family," I say, stopping to meet her gaze.

She crinkles her nose, "Who would want to hear about that." It's more of a rude statement than a question.

I ignore her and head to my post, waving at Cami. As usual, I keep my eyes peeled for my father, letting my mind drift back to my family between refugees. My family was weird in that all of us lived in the same house. It was Grandpa Fei (the fourth), Grandma Jia, Uncle Fei, dad, Naomi and myself. As dad once explained, it has been the way of the Ogawa's for generations. When he was a boy, he lived his parents and grandparents, his one uncle, and his brother and sister. The number of occupants seems to reduce every generation. Dad and Uncle Fei each only had one kid, while their sister, my Aunt Rena never had any children. Now it's only me and my father left, Aunt Rena having passed away the year after Naomi. My dad and I are all each other has anymore.

Today is a slower day, and in a moment of uncharacteristic kindness, Uni sends us home early.

"She probably just wants to get rid of us," Cami says out the side of her mouth, and I nod. It's highly likely. When we make it through the thick crowd of bystanders blocking the doors of the station, she turns to me, "I need to hear another story about Naomi the troublemaker."

I think for a moment, meeting the smiles of the people I pass as I try to think of a good story. There is one instance in particular that sticks out in my mind, something that I didn't find funny until just recently.

"When we were six and eight she convinced me to hold one side of a sheet while she held the other and jump off the roof with her." I shake my head, "She was convinced that we would be able to parachute to the ground."

Cami's eyes widen, "You're kidding me, you did that with only one good arm?"

"Unfortunately yes," I nod. "Her reasoning was that since I already had a lame arm, what was the worst that could happen? We ended up crashing into the bushes next to the house and getting stuck."

"Did someone come rescue you?" Cami laughs, shaking her head.

"My father, after an hour, but of course he had to laugh about it for a bit first before helping us."

"Typical dad behaviour," Cami grins. Her face turns sombre then, "I can't believe dad is leaving tomorrow."

I pat her shoulder with my good hand, "He'll be fine, Cami. Nori is a tough man." I try to comfort her. I know all too well what it feels like to say goodbye to your father.

Hey face brightens then, "Oh! Look what I can do!" She shoots her fists into the air, raising herself on a pillar of earth several feet above me.

"That's great!" I tell her, feeling a pang of jealousy. "You're getting good at that."

She nods, grinning, "I've been practicing like crazy. I have to say, my brothers are surprisingly intense teachers."

"You know, somehow I could see that," I laugh, thinking of Codo in particular. I watch with interest as Cami stamps her foot against the ground, willing a large chunk of earth to rise, and walks with it as if it were a balloon.

"Show off!" Dane yells as we turn onto their street, punching three small rocks at Cami in quick succession. She blocks them easily with her earth shield, kicking back a flurry of gravel at him. He jumps off the step, rolling to dodge the onslaught, causing Cami's foot to be encased in earth.

"Cheap shot!" She hollers, dropping down with her hands to the earth, smashing them and causing a ripple that sends an unsuspecting Dane flying back into the steps. She frees her foot a moment later.

Dane steps down, punching large chunks of earth at her, in an attempt to knock her down. She breaks through them, grinning like a mad woman. This is one thing I've noticed about this family, when they play fight, it's seriously violent.

Cami disintegrates the earth around her, sending a miniature dust storm at her brother. Momentarily blinded, Dane doesn't see her jump through the cloud, yelling out as she lands on his back.

"You little demon!" He yells, spinning around trying to shake her off. Cami has her hands over his eyes demanding that he surrender. "Never!" He yells, dropping backwards like a stone.

I cringe as Cami let's out an _Oof,_ having just been crushed beneath her big brother.

"Cami, Dane, please stop trying to kill each other and come inside." Hela says from behind me, making me jump. "It's time for your father's goodbye supper." The woman is seriously good at sneaking up on people.

Dane leaps to his feet, giving Cami a hand up. "It's a draw," he says as he dusts off his clothes.

"We'll finish this later," Cami promises, looping her arm through mine as we all trudge up the steps. "I'm going to feel _that_ tomorrow, I feel like I got squished by a platypus-bear you-" She stops talking abruptly as we reach the dining room, catching sight of the person seated next to her father.

"Lee?" I am feeling a little giddy and confused at the same time. "What are you doing here?"

"I invited him," Hela pipes up, shooting me a satisfied smile. "His Uncle was _very_ adamant that he attend."

 _That sounds like Mushi,_ I think, sitting down next to Lee.

"They wouldn't take no for an answer," he whispers.

Suddenly realizing what Cami said, Dane demands, "Wait, did you call me fat?"

" _No,_ I said that being squashed by you is what I would imagine being squashed by a platypus-bear would feel like."

"She called you fat, bro," Codo pipes up, smacking his hand against Dane's back.

Hela holds up her hands in an attempt to capture everyone's attention. "On that happy note, dinner is served!"

"I'm glad you're here," I whisper to Lee, watching as steaming dishes are passed around the table. Hela has gone above and beyond, as I am passed steamed fish, crab puffs and a few other plates of heavenly smelling food. Crowe scoops my food for me while I hold the plate with my good hand, and I can't help but laugh because he keeps trying to give me way more than I can eat. "That's good!" I plea.

"I've seen you eat more than this in one sitting," he informs me, adding an extra spoonful of rice to my plate.

"Yeah in a bean curd puff eating competition in which my honour was on the line!" I retort, my face turning pink. It's not really something I want the guy I like to know about.

Dane points across the table at Lee, "Your girl is the bean curd eating champion, and since we agreed we never wanted to eat another bean curd puff ever again, she will hold the honour for all time."

I ignore Cami's pointed smile at Dane's use of "Your girl."

"Do I get to know how many you ate?" Lee chuckles, nudging me with his shoulder.

I shake my head vehemently, "An oath was taken that we would never divulge the number of puffs we consumed, individually or collectively."

"Just know it was seriously impressive," Codo adds. "Especially for someone so tiny."

I grin at Cami, "You should have seen Naomi eat, now _that_ was impressive."

"I sense another funny story," she chuckles, while Codo demands to know who Naomi is.

"Is she single?" He jokes, frowning as Cami punches him in the arm.

"Naomi is no longer with us," I gently explain to the curious faces studying me. Lee's hand covers mine under the table, giving it a small squeeze. "But the girl could eat. When she was nine she challenged our grandfather to a crab puff eating competition, and won."

"How many did she eat?" Lee asks, looking impressed.

"Let's just say she never had another crab puff ever again," I laugh.

"Did she do anything else?" Cami asks, a few of her siblings echoing the question.

I think for a moment, trying to call back my days spent with Naomi. It seems like so long ago now. I remember then the one time she _did_ get me in a little trouble with my father.

"A couple months before she passed away, she suggested we pull a prank on our grandfather," I begin, smiling as a few "uh oh's" sound around the table.

"I like where this is going already," Dane grins.

"She suggested we sneak into his room one day while he was napping, and here's the thing you need to know about my grandpa, he was the world's heaviest sleeper. He could literally sleep through anything." I pause, smirking at the memory. "So we snuck into his room and painted his face with Naomi's mom's makeup."

"No!" Cami squeals, laughing with her brothers. Even Lee cracks a smile at that.

Nori glares over the table at his kids, "Don't any of you go getting any ideas."

"No promises," says Dane, gesturing for me to continue.

"I've never seen him so mad, he demanded that my dad punish me, which he had the hardest time doing because he couldn't stop laughing at the sight of his stoic father's face plastered in makeup. It didn't help that grandpa was such a giant of a man either."

"You probably feel right at home with my trouble-making boys," Hela grins.

The conversation turns then to the resistance, Nori and Dane slipping into their usual argument of whether or not Dane is old enough to join too. Nori's answer is still no, and Dane is still pointing out that there are younger men than him out fighting for their nation. Dane's signature spitfire personality is showing, as he quickly begins to raise his voice.

I feel Lee's hand squeeze mine again as we watch father and son go head to head. A stormy expression has come over his face as they argue.

After a few minutes of listening to her husband and son argue, Hela slams her hand against the table, making us all jump. "This, is supposed to be a happy dinner." She bursts into tears then, running from the room. None of us speak for a moment, looking back and forth between Nori and Dane.

"I'll go to her," Cami says then, hurrying after her mother.

Codo smacks Dane on the back, "Nice going, bro."

"Shut up," snaps Dane.

I clear my throat, shooting Lee a pointed look, thinking _it's time we bowed out._ He nods, as if understanding my thoughts. Out loud I say, "We're going to head out, to give you some family time."

Nori stands, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Sorry, that you two had to witness that. I hope you have a better evening."

"Thanks for having me, sir," Lee says respectfully, shaking Nori's hand.

We say a quick goodbye to the boys, before quickly excusing ourselves and slipping outside.

"Well that was a little awkward," Lee says quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Now where are you taking me?"

I smile slightly, "That would be a surprise," I loop my good arm through his elbow, leading him down the quiet street. There are a few people sitting on their front porches, talking softly amongst themselves. A gentle wind is blowing at our backs, carrying with it, bizarrely enough, the heavenly scent of roasted chicken.

"Do I at least get a hint?" Lee demands, squeezing my arm with his elbow.

"No way!" I shake my head, taking the next right. I'm so excited to share my favourite place with him, I hope he likes it too. The sky is growing steadily darker as we walk, casting long shadows against the many walls around us. It's an eerie image.

"The suspense is killing me," Lee says grumpily, "Are you _sure_ you can't tell me?"

I stop in my tracks, facing him. "You need to close your eyes, it's around that corner."

Lee looks between me and the upcoming turn. For a moment he looks like he is going to run off and peek. "Alright then," he clamps his eyes closed.

"Not peeking?" I demand, leading him slowly down the middle of the street. Smirking, he shakes his head, taking tiny steps. After a few arduous moments we reach the fountain.

It's surrounded by a ring of torches, and there are candles floating in each level of the fountain shining perfectly into the water to look like tiny fireflies. I stand still for a moment admiring it, jumping when Lee clears his throat.

"Oh, right, you can open your eyes," I say quickly, watching as he slowly takes his first look. "Welcome to Firelight Fountain."

A smile spreads on his face as he takes in the warm light of the torches, before stepping up to take a closer look at the fountain itself. "It's like fireflies, or stars," he tells me.

I nod, "This is my favourite place in the lower ring, it's just so peaceful and beautiful." I watch as he gently taps on the surface of the water, making ripples that distort the lights.

"Thank you for sharing this with me," he turns to smile at me, looking as if he has something more to say but doesn't know how. Instead he kisses me, his arm snaking around my waist and pulling me closer. My good hand finds its way to his chest, feeling his heartbeat steadily increasing. He pulls away from me suddenly, his expression torn.

"What's wrong?" I ask, pulling him to sit with me on the smooth stone edge of the fountain. Feeling like we need to figure out where we're heading sooner than later.

"I don't know if this is a good idea," he tells me, his amber eyes searching my own. It's not the answer I want to hear, and I feel a rush of disappointment.

I swallow hard, "Is whatever this is over then?" To myself I think, _Crash and burn, that didn't last long at all._

"What? No." He says quickly, before shaking his head and sighing hard. "I don't know."

I stay quiet, waiting for him to go on. I have nothing to say.

"I don't want this to be over, I'm just not any good at it," he says finally, tapping his foot anxiously against the ground. "No, this isn't over. This is a good thing, and we're going to make it work." He sounds as if he is more so trying to convince himself rather than me.

"Ok," I say softly. Subconsciously I reach out and touch his scar, ignoring his instinctive flinch. I gently run my fingers over the mottled flesh, feeling a pang in my heart that he ever had to go through the pain that caused it. He catches my wrist a moment later, gently pushing my hand back, his expression torn. He's had enough of that. As if sensing my disappointment he wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in tight.

"You want to know how I got it, don't you." It's a statement rather than a question, but I nod anyway. "I promise I'll tell you one day, I'm just not ready yet."

"It's ok," I assure him, mentally kicking myself for being so darn nosy. "It's rude of me to pry."

"I don't blame you for being curious, and I wish I felt ready to talk to you about it, but I'm not," he quietly explains. I stay silent, my mind racing.

What if I were to tell him I'm an Ogawa? How much would he hate me? Probably not nearly as much as Codo and Cami and their whole family would. I just feel I _need_ to tell someone.

"Can I tell you something?" I ask softly, chewing on the inside of my cheek nervously.

He blinks at me, his expression unreadable as he nods.

I am about to speak when movement above me catches my eye. Something big passes through my peripherals, huge really. It is gone in an instant and I'm left wondering if I saw it at all.

"What is it?" Lee asks, following my gaze but not seeing anything. "Ayumi?"

I open and close my mouth and few times, unable to speak. "As crazy as it sounds it looked like a big fluffy animal or something flew by."

"What colour was it?" He demands, grabbing my shoulders roughly. "Which way did it go?"

"Ow, Lee," I wince. "White, I think… And it went that way." I point in the direction the mirage seemed to go, willing him to let go of me.

Without a word he releases me forcefully, turning and running off into the night, leaving me standing in front of the Firelight fountain, stunned.

"Lee?" I call, my voice echoing back to me in the empty space. _What even just happened?_ I think, feeling rather ditched.

Cold and freaked out, I start walking a few minutes later. I have no clue where he's gone or when he's coming back. Frankly speaking I'm a little too offended to sit and wait for him. _First he almost dumps me, and then he runs off into the night_ , I think, shaking my head.

The wind swirls around me, ruffling my hair and dress, sending goose bumps across my skin. People are safe in their homes for the night, dim light shining from windows and illuminating my path. I don't realize I have a destination in mind until I arrive outside the Tea House. _Of course,_ I think, stepping inside.

Mushi's face brightens at the sight of me as he crosses the hardwood floor to greet me.

"Hello my girl, where is my stubborn nephew?" He asks, his face falling as he realizes I'm alone.

I clear my throat, "He uh, he ran off." I'm frustrated, my face no doubt giving me away. Thankfully the Tea House is quiet.

"Come, sit." Mushi instructs, directing me to an empty table and sitting across from me. He pours me a cup of the tea he's carrying, which just so happens to be jasmine.

I take a small sip, waiting for him to speak, as a talk or some words of wisdom are no doubt coming.

"You're upset," he observes, his voice as gentle as ever. "Where did my nephew go?"

He listens thoughtfully as I recount what happened, his face growing serious. I'm expecting him to question the existence of a flying ball of fur, but he doesn't acknowledge I ever mentioned it.

"I told you once, before you knew him that he was a complicated young man." He says quietly instead, offering me a sad smile. "Now that you have chosen to know him, are you willing to put up with it? To stand by him while he overcomes this?"

I don't answer right away, I find I don't know the answer. Between my nightmares, his obvious emotional damage and the fact that he may be keeping secrets larger than my own, I am lost as to what to do.

"A relationship with him will take work, it would not be easy, but it would be rewarding," he says in response to my hesitation. "He has the potential to be a great man, once he is able to overcome his obstacles."

I sigh, "Am I crazy, Mushi? Crazy to be trying to make something work with someone I know so little about?"

"What do you think?" He counters, smiling gently at me.

"I feel absolutely crazy, but I'm drawn to him," I say honestly. "And I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet." Images of beasts and fire and lightning flash before my mind, and my gut is telling me it's a mix of both good and bad.

Mushi's smile widens, "But what an adventure you will have on your way to find out." He pats my hand, "I can tell you with certainty that you make him happier than he has been in many years, but I can also tell that because of that happiness he is afraid."

"To lose it?" I ask, already knowing the answer. I feel the same way.

"That and to be hurt. He has lost and suffered much for one so young," Mushi says solemnly.

I think of my mother, my grandparents, my aunts and uncle, and Naomi. I am no stranger to loss, and I understand his trepidation. My own hesitancy is in part that and in part the quickness of it all. "I don't blame him," I say aloud.

Mushi smiles knowingly. "I suppose what I'm trying to say is I hope you will be patient with him."

"I think I can do that," I concede. "But I'm waiting for him to give me an apology. I don't like being ditched."

"That sounds fair to me," Mushi chuckles. "Maybe this is what that boy needs, a strong and independent woman to whip him into shape!" He studies me for a moment then, "You know, you remind me of someone, but I can't for the life of me put my finger on who that would be."

"I must just have one of those faces!" I say quickly, and probably a little too brightly.

He raises an eyebrow, "Must be. But I had better check on my other customers, before Pao decides to fire me!" He teases.

"Like that would ever happen, you've done miracles for his business," I say appreciatively.

He smiles at this, standing up slowly. "I'm just a old man who loves his tea." He refills my cup again, collecting the coins I slide across the table to him. "Let me know if you need anything else, my girl."

I nod, smiling as he walks away. My mind is stuck on the fact that he found me familiar. Could he have known my father? My uncle? My grandfather? I realize then that I've never asked Mushi if he was involved in the war at all. Uncle Fei wasn't a soldier, but dad is. Grandpa Fei was a General in Ba Sing Se for many years, could that be the connection? I hope there is no connection, that Mushi is just associating my face with some random person in whatever village or town he came from.

There's been no sign of Lee, and I'm tired. I don't want to wait any longer tonight. Tomorrow is another day, it will give him a bit of time to figure himself out. I wave goodnight to Mushi, heading home. I run all the way this time, feeling unsettled. The stars and moon are covered by clouds, and I can't help but feel like I'm being watched. _Paranoid much, Ayumi?_ I think, shaking my head. Reaching my temporary home, I catch a glimpse in the front window, and it stops me in my tracks.

Nori and Hela stand in front of the window, dancing slowly in the dim light of a few candles. Her head is resting on his chest, and I know I will be interrupting a very important moment if I go in through the front door. Before either of them catch sight of me I slip around the side of the house, opting to go through Cami's window. Two minutes later I am safe and sound in my bed, and the only sound to be heard is Cami's gentle breathing.

Tomorrow is another day, and I am struck with the realization that anything could happen. My father could return, Lee could break things off with me for good, my lies could be exposed. Life is full of uncertainties. I close my eyes tightly, willing myself to sleep, wishing for a dreamless sleep for once.


	7. The Duel

7 - The Duel

" _I thought you'd never get here," a young woman greets me as I open my eyes. My mother and Lee are nowhere in sight. Instead of the dark space we were in before, I'm in a bright open field, surrounded by lush, green grass. The sun is shining, birds are singing, and I can hear the faint rush of a river nearby. There is something familiar about this place, but I can't put my mind on it._

" _Slowpoke," she winks, gesturing for me to join her. I sit, unsure of who she is or why she's here._

 _She smirks, "You look confused." A mock look of distress over takes her pretty face. "Don't tell me you don't know who I am!"_

 _I study her, trying to place where I may have seen her. She has grey eyes, dark brown hair and is dressed in emerald green. She looks to be about twenty, tall for a woman, yet somehow delicate at the same time. Her cheekbones are high and sharp, giving way to full, dark red lips._

 _She rolls her eyes when I don't answer right away, "Perhaps this will jog your memory."_

 _I watch transfixed as she transforms before my eyes, morphing into someone I recognize instantly. Someone with jade green eyes and the same dark brown hair, surrounding a younger, but just as beautiful face._

" _Naomi?" I breathe, my voice cracking. She nods, leaning over to smother me in a bear hug._

" _It's good to see you, little cousin." She pulls back to study me, giving me a little wink. "Or should I say big cousin, look at how grown up and beautiful you are!"_

 _I'm stunned, in all the years since she passed, I've never dreamed of her._

" _Now that you know me," her body flickers again, morphing back into the older woman. "I much prefer this form." She winks again, smiling to reveal perfect teeth, "But who wouldn't?"_

" _What are you doing here?" I ask, still not really believing my eyes._

 _She cocks her head, raising an eyebrow, a gesture I'd seen countless times on Naomi when she was young. "What, a girl can't visit her favourite cousin?"_

" _Is this what you would have looked like?" I blurt out, realizing as soon as the words leave my lips that it's not exactly the most sensitive thing I could have said. "I mean…"_

" _You mean if I wouldn't have gotten sick," she finishes for me, a sad smile on her face._

 _I nod after a moment, trying to figure out what is different about her appearance. It hits me then, "Your eyes, why are they grey?" I ask. They have changed from jade green back to storm cloud grey._

 _Naomi blinks slowly, "It's like you said." She smiles at me sadly, "And we can't all be as lucky as you, Ayumi Ogawa."_

" _What does that mean?" I ask, but she shakes her head, the edges of my dream fading. She walks slowly off into the distance, casting one last sad smile at me as everything fades to black._

"You are the worst!" Dane yells at the top of his lungs. I blink, coming back to reality. My mind has been replaying my dream over and over ever since I woke up. Cami has just buried Dane up to his neck in the ground.

They're in the middle of their rematch, Dane having insisted upon finishing what they started yesterday, Hela having made them wait until after supper. Now we all sit on the front porch watching them spar, except Nori. He left bright and early this morning. It was a bittersweet goodbye for everyone.

"Surrender?" Cami asks, a wide smile on her face.

Dane explodes from the earth with a guttural yell, "Never!" He goes on the offensive, kicking giant chunks of earth at her with speed I've never seen from him before. One thing that Dane has always had going for him is his brute strength. Now combined with his new found speed, Cami is struggling, just barely getting her arms up in time to break through the barrage.

She drops to the ground, swinging her leg out and kicking a small stone into his stomach. Surprisingly he doesn't waver, simply inhaling sharply as he continues kicking rocks at his little sister.

"Easy, Dane," Hela warns as Cami takes a rock to the chest, getting the wind knocked out of her.

"I surrender!" Cami wheezes, trying desperately to refill her lungs with air. It takes a few moments, but she is soon breathing normally. "Nice moves," she concedes, accepting the hand Dane offers her.

"You alright, pipsqueak?" He asks, slinging his arm around her shoulder as they make their way towards us. "Who's next?" He asks jovially, his eyes twinkling. "Ayumi?"

I burst out laughing, "The only way I'd ever spar with you is if you agreed to no bending, that'd give me a fighting chance."

He grins, "No bending it is!"

"You're serious?" I stare at him. Yes I've trained in self defence, but it's been a significant amount of time since I last practiced. I can't actually remember when it was.

"Let's do it," he offers me his hand, pulling me up off the step. "I'll go easy on you."

I stick my tongue out at him, "Funny." I take my stance, feet apart, good arm raised at the ready. I can remember my Sifu telling me over and over, _"Ayumi, you need to learn to turn about at a moment's notice, protect your weak side."_

Dane doesn't exploit my lame arm just yet, instead stepping to my good side placing a few well-aimed jabs. Instantly my body reacts, blocking each hit. _Huh,_ I think as Dane repeats the sequence, _muscle memory_.

I have always been more inclined to take a defensive approach, and lucky for me Dane is a bit of a hothead. He charges again, more aggressively this time, lashing out with a spin kick directed at my head. I bend at the waist, kicking my own foot out up and behind me as I pivot, blocking his leg with my own. I hook my foot around his ankle, vaulting back onto my hand as I leap into a flip, bringing my other foot up to create a vice grip. In the same moment, using all my strength and monopolizing on the element of surprise, I whip my legs up and over, completing the flip and throwing him over me and into the ground.

"Oof," he wheezes, having hit hard. I smile, having landed neatly on my feet, releasing his ankle.

"Nice trick!" Cami hollers, a satisfied smile on her face at having witnessed her retribution. Dane coughs out a bit of dirt, his eyes glinting dangerously.

Again he charges me, his jabs becoming faster and more aggressive, and I am forced to spin and dodge half his attacks. I sidestep a jab at my head, wrapping my good arm around his to hold him in place, swinging my foot up at his face in the same motion. He doesn't see it coming and I am met with a sickening crack as my foot connects with his nose.

"I am _so_ sorry!" I shriek, horrified as he drops to his knees. He groans, blood streaming from his nostrils. A quick glance up at the step reveals our spectators all looking on, stunned expressions plastered on their faces.

A moment later Codo jumps to his feet, shooting his fists in the air. "And we have our champion!"

"Shut up!" Dane hollers, his hands trying to hold the heavy stream of blood but failing miserably. He glances up at me, managing a pained smile, "I surrender!"

I shake my head, "Oh Dane, I'm sorry!" I look up then at the sound of approaching footsteps. Lee is walking towards me, his eyebrows slightly raised at the sight before him.

"Hey," Dane says, nodding at him. "Don't mind me." He stands to his feet, moving to where Hela is gesturing for him to follow, no doubt to do something about his obviously broken nose and the excessive amount of blood streaming down his face.

"Can we talk?" Lee asks then, his eyes fixed on mine. I nod, and he points down the road, "In private?"

"I'll see you guys later," I say to Codo, Cami and Crowe, turning to follow after Lee. "Tell Dane I said sorry again, please!"

"Sure thing!" Cami smiles, looking back and forth between Lee and I. Curiousity is written all over her face.

Lee remains quiet as we walk, hands in his pockets, a rather stormy expression on his face. He shoots a glance at me after we've put a fair distance between us and the house. "Remind me not to make you angry," he jokes awkwardly. "...Again."

"Yeah not your best move," I say, adopting a mock grimace. There is truth in my words and he hears it.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Lee states suddenly, stopping in the middle of the street. He stares hard at the ground. "It's hard to explain, but just know I'm sorry. I know I can be a little unpredictable."

I cock an eyebrow, unable to resist teasing him gently, "You know normally it's the girl who is all over the place with their emotions."

I'm expecting him to react angrily but he actually chuckles a bit, "Good point, I promise to work on it." I shoot him a look, " _And_ I promise not to run off in the middle of a date again."

"Ok, you're forgiven," I smile. I can tell he's being honest with me.

Lee frowns at this, a look of confusion coming over his face. "Just like that? You're not going to hold a grudge?"

"No, why would I?" I ask, "You gave me a sincere apology, and I'm ready to give you a second chance."

He sighs in relief, "That was much easier than I was expecting."

"Do you want me to rethink my response?" I tease, to which he vehemently shakes his head. Before I can stop myself I blurt out, "Do I get to know what took you away last night?"

Lee frowns, as if searching for the right words and not being able to find them.

"I know I saw something," I inform him, watching as he squirms uncomfortably under my gaze. "At first I thought I was hallucinating."

"I don't know what to tell you," he says eventually, avoiding my eyes.

I glance around the quiet street, spotting a few people staring at us from where they loiter on their front steps, obviously eavesdropping. "Why don't we go for tea?" I suggest pointedly. "We don't have to have this conversation right now."

He offers me his elbow in response, and I loop my good arm through it, letting him lead me. We walk in silence, and I ponder his earlier words. What kind of situation did he come from that he expected me to hold a grudge? To make him grovel for an apology. He so obviously was expecting it to be a difficult resolution. All I wanted was an apology, and now I have it.

Lee smiles down at me then, "This is nice," he observes.

"Did you miss me?" I tease, nudging him with my shoulder. He has brightened considerably since I dropped the issue. His emotions really are all over the place.

"Meh…" he jokes, shrugging his shoulders in a noncommittal gesture.

"Very funny," I stick my tongue out at him as we reach the Tea House.

Lee opens the door like a gentleman, bowing deeply as I enter. "Lady Ayumi."

The most bizarre sensation occurs at his words. It is as if I am experiencing a memory, as if him referring to me as "Lady Ayumi" is somehow familiar to me. I can't help but think that it sounds right.

I shake off the feeling a split second later, nodding at him, "Lord Lee," I say with a smile. It doesn't sound right, but I'm not about to tell him that.

We head to an empty table in the middle of the room, sitting quietly across from each other. His hand gently resting on mine.

"If it isn't my favourite couple," Mushi grins widely as he walks towards us, his eyes sparkling. He pours us both a cup of jasmine, "The world seems a better place, with the two of you together."

Lee's face is turning pink at his uncle's words, "Thanks for the tea," he clears his throat pointedly.

"He is so sweet," I smile as Mushi moves on, humming a cheerful tune. "And so _not_ subtle."

Lee rolls his eyes, "I think he's more happy we've made good than we are."

"And what exactly are we?" I ask hesitantly, taking a small sip.

"Well-" Lee begins, stopping short when the door slams open behind us, capturing our attention.

My jaw drops as my ghost, the young man with wild hair and dual hooked blades steps into the Tea House. There is a malevolent glint in his eyes. I look over at Lee to make sure he's seeing him and I'm not going crazy. The stunned expression on his face tells me he sees it too.

"I'm tired of waiting, these two are firebenders!" The young man yells, whipping out his two hooked blades, gesturing to Lee and Mushi. If my jaw could drop any lower it would be on the floor.

"You'll have to defend yourselves, then everyone will know." He steps towards us, blades at the ready. There is a brazen look in his narrow eyes. "Go ahead, show them what you can do," he taunts.

Without hesitation Lee leaps up, ripping twin swords from where they hang at the waist of a nearby soldier. "You want a show, I'll give you a show."

"No!" I flinch, wanting to go to him, to stop him. I feel Mushi's hand on my wrist then, holding me back with an iron grip. He has materialized at my side, seemingly out of nowhere.

Lee kicks a table at his challenger, who cuts through it with ease, running at him. Taking a few steps back, Lee leaps onto a table, taking the high ground for a moment. Again the mystery man cuts through it with his blades, forcing Lee back onto the ground. They begin to cross blades, meeting each other blow for blow.

They run at each other then, the attacker tackling Lee out a window and onto the street.

"Lee!" I yell, wrenching out of Mushi's grip and running out after him. My heart slamming in my chest. They are on their feet, circling each other by the time I reach them.

Again they cross blades, each trying to overpower the other but to no avail. They are evenly matched. The still, night air is filled with the scraping sound of metal on metal.

"Bet you wish he'd help you out with a little fire blast right now!" The young man taunts, casting a glance back at where Mushi now stands beside me. His expression stormy.

In one swift movement Lee hooks his sword through the young man's blade, pinning it to the ground, "You're the one who needs help!" He says triumphantly, swinging his other sword in a wide arc. With impressive agility his target bends backwards at the waist, under the sword, the long piece of grass in his mouth getting neatly trimmed in half.

He scoots back and leaps onto a crate, addressing the crowd, "You see that! The Fire Nation is trying to silence me! It'll never happen."

With that he charges at Lee, more ferociously than before. He is a whirlwind of blades but Lee meets every blow. Not making any progress, the young man steps back then, his eyes lighting on me. Before I can move, he grabs my lame arm, wrenching me against him with one of his blades to my throat.

"Show everyone you're a firebender, or she gets it," he tells Lee ominously.

I can feel the blade scraping against my skin, not drawing blood, yet. "He's not a firebender!" I yell, "Let me go!"

"Shut up!" He yells at me, digging his blade a little deeper, waiting for Lee to act. I bite my lip to distract from the pain.

"Drop your weapons!" A deep voice bellows before Lee can speak, making us all turn and stare. The blade rubs just a tab too deep into my throat, making the tiniest cut.

Dai Li agents have arrived, their deep green robes standing out amongst the crowd.

"Arrest them!" My captor yells, pushing me away from him and gesturing to Lee and Mushi. "They're firebenders!"

I land on my knees, shaking. Lee is at my side in an instant, pulling me up and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"This young man wrecked my tea shop, and assaulted my employees!" Pao yells, waving his arms in distress. He points at me, "And assaulted one of my most valued customers!"

"It's true sir, we saw the whole thing. This crazy kid attacked the finest tea maker in the city." A soldier pipes up, I recognize him as the man whose swords Lee grabbed.

"Ohh that's very sweet," says Mushi, blushing.

Having heard enough, one of the Dai Li earthbends rock handcuffs in one swift movement to arrest the man. Overpowering him easily.

As they drag him away he yells, "They're Fire Nation! You have to believe me!" He yanks and writhes, trying to escape but to no avail.

Lee's face is stony, he is neither confirming or denying the accusation. He stares after the young man until the Dai Li throw him in a carriage and take him away.

"Are you ok?" He asks me, pulling back to stare down at me. His face a mix of anger and concern. I don't respond, the reality of what just happened hitting me.

"I'm going to take her to the house," he tells Mushi, his Uncle nodding in agreement. My eyes are smarting with tears at this point, and I'm shaking again. Lee hands the swords back to their rightful owner, thanking him. Without another word he scoops me up in his arms and starts walking. I have no semblance of how long it takes to get to Lee and Mushi's home, I'm tired and scared, resting my head against his chest.

He carries me in and sets me down on a bed, moving to light a candle. A few moments later he returns, sitting down beside me.

"You're ok, Ayumi," he tells me, pulling me into a hug.

"I was so scared!" I return the hug with my good arm. I can't help it, I begin to cry. All of my pent up emotions are released. Lee says nothing, holding me and letting me cry.

I pull back and stare at him, "You were so brave!"

"It was nothing." He kisses my forehead then, "I'm just glad you're ok."

"Where did you learn to fight like that?" I ask, suddenly curious.

"That's a long story," he sighs, smiling at me sadly.

"All this time I thought he was haunting me, he was really haunting you."

"You've seen him before?" Lee asks, his eyes widening.

I nod, "Outside the Tea House a few times, and when my house burned down."

He doesn't say anything, just stares at me, his face unreadable.

"I'm ok, and you're ok, everything is going to be ok." I tell him, trying to rid myself the fear hovering over me. "Can I stay awhile?"

He nods, laying back on the bed, holding his arm up for me to lay beside him. I don't question it, curling up in the groove next to him. He emanates warmth and comfort, circling his other arm around me.

My fear begins to slowly subside, and I close my eyes, sighing in contentment as he plays with my hair, now loose from its bun.

 _I open my eyes and I am lying alone on the floor, cold. Lee is nowhere in sight and neither is my mother. Only empty darkness._

" _Lee?" I call, wondering what happened to him, "Lee where are you?"_

" _Here," he answers woodenly, and I turn to where he stands beside me. His clothes are smoking._

" _Lee are you ok? What happened to you?"_

 _He says nothing, the smoke growing thicker. I watch in horror as his face flickers, as if it is going to disappear. Suddenly he explodes, morphing into a dragon right before my eyes._

" _No!" I scream, scrabbling backwards, "Lee!"_

 _The dragon roars in response, scorching me in white hot flames._

 _Naomi's voice echoes around me, "Don't let it all be for not."_

"Ayumi!" Lee is yelling as I bolt upright in the bed, a strangled scream tearing from my lips. "It's ok, you were just having a bad dream."

I meet his amber eyes, blinking profusely, trying to clear my head. "I thought it was real."

"What happened?" He asks, sitting up and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I hesitate, not sure how much I should tell him. I certainly don't want him to how many dreams I've been having about him. I feel I need to be honest though, at least a bit. I am keeping enough from him.

"You turned into a dragon, and you burned me," I say simply. I can still feel the searing pain in my mind. It felt so real. "How long was I asleep?"

"A few minutes," he says, an odd look on his face. "I was a dragon?" He clarifies.

I nod, "But it's only a dream." He pulls his arm back and I flinch. Is he closing up again so quickly?

"Is it ever just a dream?" He asks cryptically, sullenly, as if he already has his answer.

"That guy was crazy," I try to reassure him, certain his mind is stuck on it.

"I don't ever want to hurt you." He fixes his eyes on me then, his gaze searching mine, before hanging his head in apparent exhaustion or defeat.

I touch his face with my good hand, ignoring his flinch. "You won't." I tap his chin up with my fingertips. "It was only a dream, you-"

He leans forward suddenly, kissing me, obviously done talking. His arm encircles my waist, and I let out a tiny squeak as he pulls me onto his lap, his kisses becoming more aggressive. I slide my good hand into his hair, returning his kisses, feeling my pulse quicken as one of his hands encircles my upper thigh, the other tangling in my hair.

A soft cough sends us leaping apart, our faces burning red as we realize Mushi has just stepped into the room.

I slide off Lee's lap, trying to avoid the knowing smile on Mushi's face.

"I should have knocked," he says brightly, looking back and forth between us with glee. "Now I know for the future." He moves off to the kitchen chuckling to himself.

I clear my throat, "Well that was mortifying." Lee nods as I glance around the room, taking in my surroundings for the first time. The room is empty apart from the two beds and a small wooden desk.

My gaze is immediately drawn to an object on the desk. I stand, unable to identify what it is from where I sit. It rests alone, a sheathed dagger.

Curious, I pick it up, appreciating the weight in my palm. The sheath is mostly black, with two small gold designs, one on each side. Lee comes to stand behind me, reaching around me and helping me remove the sheath. The hilt is black, joined to the blade by a pearl circled in gold.

"Never give up without a fight," I quietly read the inscription aloud, again faced with a familiar sensation. "Where did you get this?"

"My Uncle, he traded for it at a flea market," he answers, reaching for the dagger. My hand tightens around the hilt instinctively, not wanting to let it go, I feel oddly protective.

"I should go home," I blurt out, begrudgingly handing the dagger over, yet unable to take my eyes off if it.

As we walk I find my mind is stuck on the attack, the dagger and Naomi's odd message in my dream tonight. _Don't let what all be for not?_ I think.

"Everything ok?" Lee shoots a glance at me from the corner of his eye. "You seem a bit preoccupied."

"Just tired," I lie smoothly, not wanting to burden him with the details. At any rate I'd end up interrogating him about what drew him away from me last night.

"I hear you," he says, stopping a few houses away from my temporary home. Drawing me in he kisses me, arms wrapping gently around my waist. "Just so no one awkwardly interrupts us again," he explains as he pulls away.

"Smart move," I smile, bidding him goodnight. He waits until I've reached the front door before starting his walk home, ensuring I'm safe.

" _Don't let it all be for not."_ Naomi's words echo in my head yet again as I settle into my bed a few minutes later. Yet another mystery.


	8. The Dagger

_8 - The Dagger_

"Tell me about your parents," Lee says, his hand toying with my hair as I lay with my head on chest, his other hand resting behind his head.

"What do you want to know?" I ask, watching out of the corner of my eye as my hand that rests on his well-defined abdomen (and I mean _really_ well-defined) rises and falls with each breath he takes.

"How did they meet?" he asks.

I smile slightly, thinking of the story I had begged my father to hear countless times growing up. "They met at a circus."

"Huh," Lee chuckles, "That wasn't what I was expecting."

"No?" I can't help but notice that his stomach gets even more solid when he laughs, if that's even possible. "And what were you expecting?"

"Good question, I don't know, he heroically saved her from drowning and she instantly fell in love?" he suggests, obviously grasping at straws.

I burst out laughing, "Actually you're not too far off!"

"No way."

"I'm serious, she was a part of the circus that came through his village, and-"

He holds up a hand, cutting me off. "Wait, your mother was a circus performer?"

I nod, "I kid you not."

"Well what was her act?"

"She walked the tightrope, with no net, doing cartwheels and things like that across it. My father was front row with my Uncle Fei on opening night, he was there to see her somehow lose her balance for the first time in her life."

Lee inhales sharply, "Uh oh, I see where this is going."

I smile at the faux memory my mind has forged from hearing the story so much. "She started to fall, and my father, being the exceptionally quick thinker that he was, he shot up a pillar of earth that she landed on, and he guided her gently to the ground. Apparently it was love at first sight."

"Wow," says Lee. "That's quite the story."

"Your turn," I poke him in the stomach. "How did your parents meet?" I remember a second too late that the topic of his parents is a sensitive subject.

He stiffens, "They had an arranged marriage, the end," he says shortly.

I don't respond, having learned that when his guard goes up, the best thing to do is just wait it out. _Good going, Ayumi_ ,I berate myself for the slip-up. We lay silently, the only audible sound being our breathing. I close my eyes, opting to wait for him to be ready to talk to me again. _This might take awhile_ , I think, yawning widely.

My eyes shoot open what seems like a moment later. _Where am I?_ I blink slowly in the pale light of dawn. _Wait, dawn?_ I can feel a soft breath in and out on the back of my neck, I'm not alone. I roll over slowly, pinning my bad arm beneath me, looking up into the face of the man whose bed I am sharing. Lee.

I panic internally for a split second, until chunks of my memory start to fall into place and I break free of my post-sleep memory loss. We went on a date, and then came back here to talk, and apparently fell asleep cuddling. What's shocking is that I slept without dreams. I slept peacefully. For once, I feel rested. It's a terrifying thought, that Lee could have that sort of impact on me. I don't want to feel dependant. Besides, we still haven't put an official label on anything.

He looks so peaceful, his face slack, his breathing calm. It's as if the troubles that plague him by day have released him for the night. _Is that because of me?_ I wonder to myself.

My eyes are drawn instantly to his scar. I can feel a magnetic pull, I want to touch it. However my hesitancy at disturbing his peaceful sleep is greater than my curiosity. Besides, I'm not sure I want to talk right now. I can't help but feel a little awkward for falling asleep here, as if I've broken some sort of unspoken rule.

A quick glance around the room reveals that Mushi is nowhere in sight, thankfully. Having him interrupt our kissing the other day was embarrassing enough, I don't want to be caught sneaking out of Lee's bed. Not that we've done anything scandalous. I feel there's a perception that would come if people knew, assumptions would be made, conclusions would be drawn. All things I don't want, not when we haven't even labelled this thing yet.

I push myself slowly into a sitting position, careful not to touch Lee or make any loud or sudden movements. I tip toe around his still form, casting a look over my shoulder, wondering if I should stay.

 _No_ , I tell myself sternly, turning to leave. Last thing I remember is waiting for him to relax and talk to me after I foolishly brought up his parents. I have no way of telling if his guard will be down when he wakes up.

Again, my gaze snaps to where the pearl-hilted dagger rests on the little wooden desk. I suddenly feel the urge to take it with me.

 _Ayumi Ogawa, you are not a thief!_ I think incredulously, not entirely sure what's come over me. Shaking my head I pad slowly across the room and don't stop or breathe until I'm safely on the street.

"Good morning, my girl." I jump, only just noticing Mushi seated in the shadows of the porch, a steaming cup of what smells like ginseng tea in his hand. I just walked right past him.

I blush, "Good morning, Mushi." I'm practically chewing off the inside of my cheek. Caught sneaking out red-handed.

He raises a quizzical brow, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "You're not staying for breakfast?"

"I need to get home before they send out a search party," I chuckle nervously. If he is unimpressed by my staying the night he doesn't show it. "Plus I need to get ready for my shift," I add quickly.

"Of course," Mushi nods. "I'll tell my nephew. Have yourself a wonderful day, Ayumi."

"You too, Mushi." I wave, hurrying on my way to my temporary home. I pass through nearly empty streets as the already warm sun begins to reach me with its glow. As I turn the last corner I nearly bowl over a woman standing at the end of the street.

"Oh! Ayumi!" She squeaks, a gloved hand flying to her lips. It takes me a second to register who she is, and how she knows my name.

"Mia? What are you doing here?" I ask, watching as she clears her throat, pulling her hood tighter around her dark hair as per usual.

She holds out a money pouch in one hand and a letter in the other. "Your rent, and your father." She narrows her eyes as I snatch the letter, pouring over its contents, "Where were _you?_ " She asks, her voice full of suspicion

"He's coming home?" I clarify, waving the letter in her face. Feeling a moment of panic, I ignore her question.

She nods. "He will be home in a few day's time." There is an expression on her face that I can't quite name.

"So this is it then," I say more so to myself, unsure of how I'm feeling.

"It's time you came to the upper ring, Ayumi," Mia states firmly, her hand squeezing my shoulder. I meet her gaze, seeing worry and protectiveness. "It's where you belong."

"Not yet, not until he's here," I argue, thinking of Lee and my friends. Mostly Lee. I don't want to say goodbye just yet. "And why, because I'm an Ogawa?" I whisper the last part of the question.

"You need to stop pretending, Ayumi!" She hisses, a look of exasperation falling on her face. "And not just that, but that was what your father wanted. He is going to fire me."

I shake my head, "If he's going to have a problem with anyone it's me. I'm the one who went behind his back."

She looks like she wants to argue but sighs instead, accepting defeat. "You're almost as stubborn as he is, you know that?"

I chuckle, "It's an Ogawa thing." I whisper my name again, despite there being no one around to hear me use it. It feels like so long since I've last used it. Now twice in one day! It's nice to hear it aloud, no matter how quiet.

"I will see in you a few days," Mia states firmly, as if it's not up for debate, and I suppose it isn't being that Hiro Ogawa is finally coming to Ba Sing Se.

I remember then that Mia's son is out fighting alongside my father. I'm not sure how I forgot about that. "Do you think Kanto will be coming back with him?" I ask, his face flashing before my eyes.

Mia smiles sadly, shrugging helplessly. "I can only hope." She gives my shoulder a squeeze, "See you soon."

I watch as she walks off, thinking of Kanto. It's been awhile since I've seen him. We basically grew up together. Being that he was mine and Naomi's governess' son, he spent a good amount of time at the estate throughout the years. He was a tall, gangly child with wild brown hair and dark green eyes. I specifically remember him being considerably more serious than Naomi and I put together, even as a small child. I can't help but wonder what he's like now, and if he's still a gangly beanpole.

I slip my money and letter into the pocket of my dress as I make my way up the front steps of my home that might not be my home for long.

"I'm glad to see you're safe," Hela says quietly as I step into the house, nearly making me jump a foot off the ground.

I nod, exhaling heavily. "You startled me, wow." I can't help but chuckle nervously at being so caught off guard.

She smiles slightly, "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I talked to you when you got home." She pats the empty seat next to her, her other hand resting on her already swollen belly.

I sit, crossing my legs as I settle into my seat, waiting for whatever "talk" she has planned. It's obvious one is coming, I didn't have to be raised with a mother to know when a motherly chat is coming.

"How are things going with you and Lee?" Hela asks, easing her way into the conversation. I guess with seven children she's had plenty of practice with this sort of thing. Us Ogawa's have never been the beat around the bush sort of type, though.

I humour her, smiling brightly. "They're going good, for not having put a label on it yet." I speak honestly, my feelings of uncertainty and nightmares regarding Lee poking at the back of my mind.

She smiles back, "I'm glad to hear that, it's good to see you so happy." She clears her throat then, a signal that the conversation is about to take a more serious tone. "I just want to make sure you're making wise decisions."

I choose to remain quiet, waiting for her to go on. There is no sense interrupting or trying to justify anything. She obviously has something on her mind, my best bet is to let her get it out.

"You're very young, Ayumi, and you two haven't been seeing each other for very long." She sighs slightly, fixing her pale green eyes on my mismatched ones. "It may feel like true love, but you hardly know him. And despite being young, you're both at an age where you may be experiencing new… urges."

I fight to keep a straight face, feeling a nearly overwhelming urge to burst out laughing. I have to admit I wasn't expecting the conversation to take _that_ turn.

Hela, for her part, doesn't seem embarrassed in the slightest. She smiles slyly at me, "It's common knowledge!" She insists, her face going serious a moment later. "I just want you to take it slow, you have your whole life ahead of you to get married, start a family."

"You don't have to worry, Hela," I say reassuringly, "We fell asleep talking, no family starting happening here. You're right, this is all so new and we're still getting to know each other."

She smirks, "Well if you do end up getting to know each other in _that way_ , take this." She offers out a tiny leather pouch. "Those herbs will keep you from expanding… your family _and_ your belly," she jokes.

I pocket the pouch, shaking my head. "I have to admit, I'm a little surprised. But thank you."

Hela shrugs, "It's not my place to tell you what to do or not do, but it is my place to help you be prepared. You're free to make whatever choices you want, be it what I would choose or not. I feel I owe it to your father to help guide you as best I can."

"He'd appreciate it," I say honestly. "Actually, he'll appreciate everything you've done for me."

"I would want someone to do the same for one of my children," she tells me, "Besides you're basically one of my children now."

"True!" I burst out laughing as she winks at me.

She stands slowly to her feet, heading to the kitchen, "Thank you for letting me bestow upon you some motherly advice, Ayumi. I need to start some breakfast, before my small army of offspring wakes up."

"Need a hand?" I offer, my gaze drawn to her stomach. _She is getting big, fast_ , I think. _That's going to be one large child._

Hela shakes her head, "I'm good, you go ahead and get cleaned up. I'm sure Cami is just _dying_ to grill you for all the juicy details of your scandalous night," she teases.

"That's how rumours get started!" I protest, heading down the hall as she chuckles, shaking her head.

Cami is waiting for me when I slip into our room, sitting on the edge of her bed, her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyebrow raises slightly at the sight of me, "And just where have _you_ been, young lady?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say innocently, collapsing on my own bed.

"Details, _now._ " Cami demands, not about to take no for an answer. She begins weaving her dark hair into a braided bun as I sigh loudly.

"We literally fell asleep cuddling and talking, no juicy details!"

" _Riiiiiight_ ," she says, winking over-dramatically at me.

I roll my eyes at her theatrics, "Seriously! I would tell you if there were juicy details, we just talked about our families." I cringe internally, remember my slip-up yet again. I'll need to be more careful in the future, if we even _have_ a future, what with my father on his way.

"Hey are you ok?" Cami asks, her face full of concern. My face must be giving me away.

I nod, smiling slightly, "It's just that my father is on his way home."

Cami smiles widely, "That's great! You must be so excited! Where will you go?"

I shrug helplessly, "I have no idea." It's a bit of a white lie, I have a pretty good idea that he's going to take me right up to the upper ring no questions asked. It's what he planned, after all.

"And why don't you look very excited?" She asks, her expression turning serious.

"It's just that things are going to be different when he gets here."

She nods, "You're thinking of Lee." It's not a question.

"And you guys!" I add, feeling the sudden urge to cry. "I like my life, the way it is."

"Hey, like Poppa Nori always says…?" She says brightly, gesturing for me to finish the rest.

I smile a small smile, "Things always work out the way they're supposed to."

"That's right!" She pats my knee. "Look how everything worked out so far! You met us, you got a great volunteer position, you met your handsome refugee, your house burned down and Lee saved your life and you moved in with us, which is a negative mixed with a positive, you got attacked and you're ok…" She lists exuberantly. "Things are just falling into place!"

"Only you would list a house fire and getting attacked in a list that's supposed to highlight the positives," I tell her, shaking my head. What she didn't list were my nightmares, still there every night, except for last. I have no idea how or if they tie into my life and whether or not things will still work out despite them. Fire and lightning aren't exactly positives.

The next few hours pass in a blur, the volunteer shift flies by with no sign of my father, and supper goes by with me barely touching my food. As we put away the dishes, there is a soft tap at the door.

"You have a guest, Ayumi," Hela says a moment later, a knowing smile on her face.

I ignore the boys as they all begin to tease me with "Oooh's" and snide comments. Typical. "I'll be back," I tell Hela, my expression saying _tonight not tomorrow._

She nods in understanding, stepping aside for me to exit. I wait until the door closes behind me before I speak, meeting Lee's gaze as he stands on the step in front of me, unable to keep still.

"Hi," I greet him, smiling shyly.

"Hi," he responds, equally as shyly. After a slight pause, he blurts out "I woke up and you were gone, is everything ok?"

"I left at dawn," I tell him, making my way down the steps, nodding for him to follow. As we make our way around the side of the house, I try to explain myself. "I wanted to let you sleep, I felt like I owed that to you after being so careless with my words last night."

Lee shakes his head in exasperation, "You don't owe me anything, it's not your fault I'm so sensitive."

"Still, I know it's a tough issue for you and I should have known better," I argue, pulling myself up the ladder as quick as I can. He waits to respond until he's seated next to me on the roof.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you," he says suddenly, turning to stare at me.

I meet his eyes, for once my gaze isn't drawn to his scar. His eyes are such a vibrant golden brown, beautiful really. I'm struck then by just how good-looking he really is. "I forgive you," I say, "And I'm sorry I was careless."

"Don't apologize," Lee instructs, shaking his head. He sighs, staring up at the evening sky for a moment, taking in the darkening hues of blue and first pinpricks of stars, before turning back to stare at me. "You look beautiful by the way."

I feel my face turning slightly pink, "I look the same as I do every day."

"Well you look beautiful every day," he smiles at me. A moment later he leans over and kisses me, his hand cupping my chin.

I can't help but grin as he pulls back, "That was nice."

" _Nice?_ " He teases, referencing Cami's entertaining reaction to my description of our first kiss that I eventually told him about.

I smirk, leaning in towards him a bit, " _really_ nice."

"Ok, how about this?" He asks, snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me into him, kissing me passionately.

"Meh…" I tease as we pull apart by an inch, eliciting a look of mock offense from Lee.

"So you think you can do better?" He challenges, his eyes twinkling. He turns pink a moment later as I swing my leg over him to straddle him, pulling him by the collar of his shirt into an aggressive kiss.

"You know I can," I tease as I pull back, giving him another quick peck on the lips. I watch, bemused as he clears his throat, staring up at me.

"You win," he concedes, a rather silly grin on his face.

I swing back over to sit beside him, resting my head on his shoulder. "I just realized we probably shouldn't do _too_ much kissing on this roof, the boys will tease me relentless if they see us." I inform him.

Lee lets out a small huff of air in response, "Like they don't tease you enough already."

"They sure nail the annoying brother part," I chuckle. "But they mean well."

"Is Codo finally over you?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

I shrug noncommittally, "Well he's certainly stopped giving you the death glare so much."

"That's gotta be worth something."

I remember then that my father is coming home. I feel like I need to tell Lee, but I don't think I can tell him without the conversation leading to the fact that I'm an Ogawa and will most likely have to leave. That's something I don't want to tell him. Not now, in this perfect moment where he's actually happy. Not ever. I've grown rather attached to him, and the thought of having to say goodbye is distressing.

 _I am officially an Ogawa,_ I think to Lee, _I've grown attached to you ridiculously fast._

"Something on your mind?" He asks without even looking at me, just calmly studying the cloudless sky.

I open and close my mouth a few times, a bit stunned that he picked up on it. Maybe we're more connected than I thought. "Yes," I say simply.

He turns to stare at me, "What's wrong?"

"My father is on his way back to Ba Sing Se," I blurt out in a rush before I can talk myself out of it.

Lee blinks slowly, "Isn't that a good thing?"

I sigh, "Yes for the fact that I'll get to see him again, but no for the fact of I don't know if we'll be staying here." I cringe as he stiffens beside me in an all too familiar way.

"You're leaving," he states woodenly, a hurt expression coming over his face.

I shake my head before shrugging helplessly, "I don't know, it's all up in the air right now." He doesn't respond, simply turns back to staring at the stars, albeit much more angrily than before. "Lee." No response. " _Lee._ "

He is pouting angrily now like a small child, and for one moment I feel furious at him. Furious that his moods are so unpredictable, that he can change from one moment to the next. That he changes so frequently. Mushi's words echo in my mind then _"A relationship with him will take work, it would not be easy, but it would be rewarding. He has the potential to be a great man, once he is able to overcome his obstacles."_

Call me crazy but my fury is suddenly replaced by the desire to help him become a great man. To stand in his corner, to be his support.

"Hey," I say, gently taking his chin in my good hand and turning him to face me. "I'm still here aren't I?" He nods reluctantly. "Then why don't we make the best of the time we have together and see what happens from there. Like Nori always says, things always work out."

Later, after a heated kissing session under the cover of darkness that we mutually ended due to the fact that it was getting intense, fast, I lay wide awake staring at the ceiling. I touch my lips gently, still raw. I don't remember exactly everything that happened, but I do know that he had me pressed up against the chimney at one point, and I am definitely going to have bruises on my back in the morning. I also remember subconsciously slipping my hand up under his shirt, apparently drawn to his chiselled abs, but I mean who could blame me? Nice is definitely not the appropriate adjective, as I can feel my cheeks turning pink just thinking about it. I'm suddenly thankful that Hela gave me the herbs, even if I didn't need them tonight.

 _Ok, Ayumi, let's think about something else_ , I instruct, squeezing my eyes shut. It hits me then just how tired I am. I begin mentally slowing my breathing down in an attempt to nudge myself to sleep. After a few minutes I feel my mind slipping into the dream world.

 _I am home. In the wide courtyard of the Ogawa Estate, surrounded by familiar trees, flowers and ornate stone benches. I turn, catching sight of the mansion itself, feeling a lump in my throat as I experience a rush of home-sickness. I miss it, all its wide windows and pillars, its ornate wooden door covered in engravings. I even miss the gentle rush of our nearby little river for which my ancestors were named. Ogawa means little river._

 _I go to move towards the house but a squeal catches my attention. I turn, noticing for the first time that there are two little girls tucked away on one of the stone benches. Naomi and I, not more than nine and seven. It strikes me then that that's exactly what we were, because I can remember sitting on that very bench. I remember word for word the conversation that is currently occurring, as Naomi has just suggested that we cut each other's hair._

 _Unsure of why I'm dreaming about this particular memory, I step closer, watching as younger me wrinkles her nose._

" _But why would we do that?" I ask, utterly confused as to why my older cousin would ever considering chopping off her gorgeous locks._

 _Naomi grins, "It will be exciting, we will look like brand new women!" She grabs me hands, making puppy dog eyes at younger me. "Oh pleeeaase Yu-yu, mom always says that change is good and that we should always be willing to try new things!"_

 _I chuckle, watching as my younger self hmm's and haw's. "I don't think that's what she was referring to, Miss Naomi," I say quietly to no one in particular._

 _Younger me eventually shrugs hesitantly, "Ok, I guess…" A split second later Naomi is up and sprinting into the house, leaving younger me to sit and wait, looking entirely uncomfortable with the idea._

" _You're wondering why you're seeing this particular memory, aren't you." I turn to see older, dream-version Naomi with the grey eyes standing behind me._

 _I nod, glancing back at little me. "I don't remember anything particularly significant about that day."_

" _Other than that you let me destroy your hair?" Naomi teases, coming to stand beside me. "You were such a cute kid," she observes, smiling down at little me._

" _That makes two of us," I shoot back, hearing little Naomi running behind us. "So what am I looking for?"_

 _Adult Naomi doesn't respond, instead gently nodding for me to watch as her younger self runs by us, plopping herself back on the bench beside little me._

" _Here, I'll do yours first," she announces, swiftly bundling up my hair and slicing it at chin length with the dagger she has brought from inside. Both versions of me watch as the excess hair falls to the ground, and I can remember the instant sense of freedom I felt in that moment._

" _Your turn," Little me tells little Naomi. She hands me the dagger, bundling up her own hair, ready to help me cut it._

 _I watch as little me pauses, staring down at the dagger. I feel a chill run down my spine as I follow my own gaze down to rest on the dagger. My blood runs cold as recognition dawns. I rush forwards, not believing what I'm seeing but knowing it's true. Resting in my tiny hand is a pearl-hilted dagger with the words "Never give up without a fight" engraved into its blade._


	9. The Reunion

9 - The Reunion

It's all coming back to me. While Aunt Pearl and Uncle Fei had been more distraught that Naomi had hacked off her beautiful hair, and my father not mad at all, Grandpa Fei had been livid that we had taken his dagger. His most prized possession, dad had eventually explained. The dagger had been in my family for more generations than I could count, passed down to the next Fei Ogawa in line. It was supposed to have gone to Uncle Fei, but it never did.

General Fei Ogawa the fourth (known to me as Grandpa) had suffered defeat, when a Fire Nation general broke through the outer wall of Ba Sing Se. In his greatest shame he gave the dagger to the victorious general as a sign of respect. He was never the same man after that.

The question that remains is how did Lee end up with it, or more importantly, how did it end up at a flea market for Mushi to find? So many questions are jostling around in my brain, and I've been unable to think of anything else for the past two days whether I've been alone or with Lee or my honorary family. I'm confused and a little unsettled that the dagger has found its way back to me, an Ogawa.

"Ayumi?" Cami asks, catching my attention. The tone of her voice implying this isn't the first time she's called me.

"Hmm?" I poke absentmindedly at my breakfast, suddenly aware that everyone is staring at me.

"I was asking if something was on your mind," Cami smiles, "But that's obvious."

I grimace slightly, "Sorry, I was thinking about a missing family heirloom, my grandpa's knife." I am not sure where the blatant honesty is coming from, even though I'm not giving all the details.

"What happened to it?" Crowe asks, his mouth full of food.

"Obviously it was stolen," Codo pipes up smartly, shooting a look that says _duh,_ at his younger brother. "And don't talk with your mouth full of food, you're going to spit breakfast at Ayumi."

Crowe smiles apologetically at me, "Sorry," he mutters from an equally full mouth of food, while Codo rolls his eyes.

"I'm sure you'll find it someday," Hela interjects distractedly, shaking her head at her sons. "Honestly you two." She flinches then, her hand shooting to her stomach.

We all react at the same time:

"What happened?" Demands Codo.

"Mom? Are you ok?" Asks Cami.

"Is the baby coming?" I nearly shriek.

"What! What!" Yells Crowe.

We are all so exuberant and panicked that she bursts out laughing.

"It's just a kick from my little earthbender," she assures us, patting her swollen belly. "Baby has been a bit feisty these days."

Codo raises his eyebrows as he stares at his mother's stomach, "Feisty _and_ gigantic."

He's not wrong, I've never seen a pregnant woman with such a fast-growing belly.

Hela raises an eyebrow, "Oh so I'm gigantic?" She crosses her arms across her protruding midsection. She's entirely teasing, both Cami and I can tell, but Codo is a bit oblivious.

"Uh no, of course not, you're radiant." He stammers, exchanging a desperate look with Crowe, who shrugs helplessly.

"Do me a favour, son of mine," Hela points at him. "When you're married, and your wife is very pregnant, do not under any circumstances refer to her, directly or indirectly through referring to the unborn child within her, as gigantic."

Codo nods profusely in agreement as I excuse myself then, needing to get to the station for my shift. I need to be on the lookout for my father.

I make it to the station in record time, early in fact. Uni actually looks impressed when she sees me, something that has never happened to me before. She hands me the list of jobs I need to fill today, a fake smile plastered on her face as per usual. I notice a huge chunk of lettuce stuck in her teeth.

"You have something.." I try to say but she stalks off, ignoring me completely. "Ok, lettuce teeth," I mutter. She can waltz around like that for all I care.

As the day goes on, I can't stop searching every face, barely focusing on doing my job. He's got to be here soon, and I am panicking internally. How angry will he be with me? I can't help but wonder as i scan the crowded station. Will he like Lee?

Uni sidles up to me, clapping her hands in my face obnoxiously, "Look alive, Ayumi! You're falling asleep on the job!"

 _Actually I'm having an existential crisis,_ I think as I nod, _and this is a volunteer position._ It strikes me then that it would feel amazing to actually verbalize all my internalized sass towards her, to give her what for. _And then get fired from said volunteer position,_ I remind myself.

"I'm watching you," Uni adds, stalking off. I'm not sure if she intentionally meant to sound extremely creepy or if she's just that way naturally.

"Note to self," I mutter, fixing a winning smile on an approaching refugee. "Don't let creepy Uni down." I have no doubts the woman could mess me up.

I work diligently for the next bit, forcing myself to concentrate at the situation at hand, and not the impending return of my father. I am unaware of the amount of time passing me by. I help a few small families, and an old man with a kind smile who is so abundantly grateful. He reminds me of why I stayed in the lower ring in the first place, to help people.

"You look like you could use a break."

I glance up to see Lee standing in front of me, a small basket in his hands. Somehow it's lunch time, the morning having flown by in an absolute blur. I can smell the tantalizing scent of fried fish drifted through the wicker walls, and it makes my mouth water.

"That smells heavenly," I announce, following him towards a quiet corner of the station. The next train will arrive in a few minutes, but even Uni advocates for lunch breaks. I think it's because she thinks that hungry workers are less efficient workers.

Lee smiles at me, evidently proud of himself. "I knew you'd like it. I thought it would be nice to eat lunch together." He looks genuinely happy.

"We've never done this," I realize, watching in anticipation as he opens the basket.

Lee hands me a plate of fried fish, with rice and veggies on the side. "No we haven't and that's not acceptable."

"No?" I take a small bite of fish, my taste buds ready to sing it's such a glorious flavour.

"It's a must-do date for any relationship," he informs me confidently, popping a chunk of fish in his mouth. "We were slacking."

 _So we're in a relationship?_ I think, nervous to say it aloud, especially with the impending arrival of my father. Instead, I change the subject entirely.

"So your dagger, where did you say you got it from?" I ask innocently, still desperately curious and hoping to coax more details from him.

A tiny frown falls across his face. "Mushi found it at a flea market, he thought it was something I'd like." His words sound rehearsed.

"Where was the market?" I blurt out, eliciting another somewhat larger frown.

"Uh, some town far from here, he was just passing through," he says impatiently, nearly masking the fact that he just improvised his answer. Nearly.

 _Why are you lying to me?_ I think, studying him as we descend into silence, both concentrating solely on eating our phenomenal lunches. The next train pulls slowly into the station.

"Who made this?" I ask then, having ate every single piece of food on my plate. I am full, and so very satisfied.

"Hela," Lee says automatically, confirming my suspicions. The woman has a gift with food.

 _I have to remember to thank her_ , I remind myself, taking a moment to scout out the room for my father. I watch as the train doors open and people begin filing out, not seeing any even remotely familiar faces. I look away for a second, catching sight of Uni, her gaze fixed on the doors. I follow her line of sight back to the train where Kanto has just wheeled my father, the last passenger off the train.

My jaw drops, I'm shocked. For all I've tried to be calm and ready for this moment, I'm still so unprepared. He looks the same, save for his hair being a touch longer and more unruly. He looks tired and in pain, dark circles evident under his jade green eyes even from here.

"What are you looking at?" Lee demands, trying to follow my unwavering stare. His eyes must have lighted on Kanto, because his voice takes on a jealous tone as he asks, "Do you know that guy?"

"That's my father," I say distractedly, watching as Kanto walks over to where Uni stands, saying something I can't understand, leaving my father alone next to the train. He hands her their papers, and I can see Uni's face light up in recognition. She brings out her personable qualities she reserves for upper class individuals, like Hiro Ogawa and his companion. Overly friendliness that I would also categorize as flirtation.

I return my gaze back to my father as he looks up, no doubt wanting to get away from the train, when he spots me.

We lock eyes then, and mine instantly well up with tears, I missed him. He is the embodiment of home, and I wasn't previously aware of how desperately homesick I am.

A familiar smile stretches across his face, no doubt so happy to see me, the action counteracting the dark circles and tired lines. I step forwards, barely registering angry voices, yelling something I can't understand. It catches my father's attention though, he looks for the source as I continue my slow progression towards him.

A moment later the train explodes, and someone tackles me from behind. I watch in slow motion as I fall, seeing white-hot flames engulfing my father, licking hungrily at the crowd as burning debris strikes the innocent people milling about. I can feel the heat, pricking my skin even at this distance.

Screaming fills my ears, mine loudest of all, as I fight against my captor. I need to get to my father, he is burning and screaming such a terrible scream. Like a dying animal.

"Stay back!" Lee demands, letting me go and running at my father. He rips off his shirt, desperately trying to smother the merciless flames. Kanto arrives at his side a moment later to help, his face bloodied from where a stray chunk of train debris has hit him.

I kneel on the floor where Lee left me, paralyzed. I'm numb, absolutely numb to everything that is going on. They get the flames out, finally, but I can see the damage is done. The stench of burnt skin fills my nostrils, my father's burnt skin. There's blood everywhere, I can hardly recognize him. He is a mess of bright red blood and charred black skin.

The next events are a blur, and I regain awareness in my father's infirmary room, not entirely sure how I got there.

"I think she's in shock," Kanto is saying to Lee, both of them staring at me in concern.

"I'm fine," I say softly, my attention fixed on the bandage-wrapped form of my father, so still he could pass as dead. I ignore the pointed glance they exchange, neither believe me.

"They're bringing healers, Ayumi," Kanto informs me. "Some of the best. Everyone was so helpful when they saw this." He is holding up my father's papers.

I nod, stepping over to give him a hug. "I wish I was seeing you under better circumstances, Kanto."

"You and me both, Yu." He pulls back handing me my father's papers. "It looks like you've been in good hands, though." He smiles kindly at Lee, who to my surprise smiles back. Kanto excuses himself to wait for his mother then, leaving Lee and I alone.

"He's an old family friend," I blurt out, feeling the need to explain myself.

Lee shakes his head, "He's a goodp, man." His eyes flicker to where my father sleeps, bandaged with poultices, I remember now. A temporary solution until the healers arrive. Lee is curious about something, I can tell, he is squirming.

"I haven't entirely been honest with you," I say then, speaking lowly, subconsciously worried that my father will hear us. Something tells me he cannot hear anything.

"What do you mean?" Lee asks, not sounding surprised in the slightest.

I hand him my father's papers in answer, panicked of what he'll think of me. An expression akin to panic flickers across his face, gone in a millisecond.

"You're an Ogawa?" He asks, his face unreadable. "As in General Fei Ogawa?"

I nod, "Yes, he was my grandfather." I search his eyes anxiously, trying to determine what he's thinking or how he's feeling. "I'm sorry."

"You're Fei Ogawa's granddaughter," he repeats softly, shaking his head.

"I should have said something, I should have told you the truth," I state, wanting to cry. I can't tell if I'm emotional about the truth coming out or just the fact that my father is laying in the bed next to me, clinging to life. Maybe it's a bit of both.

Lee frowns at me, "What are you doing in the lower ring?" He chuckles without humor, "It doesn't make any sense. If you're an Ogawa you belong in the upper ring."

"I was headed there," I say honestly, fixing my eyes on my father yet again. "He sent me to Ba Sing Se early, before General Zhao ever ravaged our estate, he wanted to make sure I was safe."

"But?" Lee prods, his expression still stony.

"But I got here, and I saw so many people uprooted and helpless, I couldn't just go live in the upper ring and pretend like nothing was happening. So I stayed, and I helped, and I met Nori and Hela and their wonderful family."

"Do they know?"

I shake my head regretfully, "I thought people would be angry that I'm an Ogawa, that they wouldn't understand why I'm here and not in the upper ring, where everyone seems to think I belong." I pause, swallowing hard. "Do you hate me?"

His eyes widen as he turns to look at me in disbelief, "I could never hate you, Ayumi, don't be ridiculous."

"Are you angry?" I ask again, trying to discern what he's feeling. He is visibly unsettled by something.

He takes a slow, deep breath, shaking his head. "You had your reasons, who am I to judge," he says cryptically.

"I'm sorry," I repeat, staring again at my father. "I'm also sorry this is what it took for me to be honest with you."

"I could have lost you," Lee mutters as if to himself, shaking his head.

"I'm fine," I assure him, reaching out to touch his face.

He flinches away unexpectedly, "But you almost weren't, and your dad…"

"He's a fighter," I say confidently, ignoring the feeling of doubt in my gut. "He's an Ogawa, we never give up without a fight." I remember my visions then, feeling a chill run down my spine. This has to be what I was being warned of.

"He shouldn't have to fight," Lee says bitterly. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" I demand. "You didn't blow up the train, it was obviously Fire Nation spies. You saved my father's life."

He shakes his head over and over, not answering me. He looks like he might burst into tears, anxiously running a hand through his short dark hair.

"Lee, you saved him, you're a hero." I reassure him, trying to convince him of his own merit. "You have nothing to apologize for, you probably saved me from brazenly running into a fire without thinking and getting terribly burned."

"You shouldn't be in danger," he says firmly, finally turning his amber eyes to meet my mismatched ones.

I scoff slightly, "Look what's happening, Lee, I'll always be in danger. We're in the middle of a war."

"You won't if I can help it," he states softly, more to himself than to me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demand, grabbing his hand with my good hand. "Lee?"

He kisses me softly, suddenly. "I care about you so much, I hope you know that."

"I care about you too," I say, realizing it's true. "Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?"

"You've made me happier than I've ever been in my life, but me being in your life has brought you nothing but danger: the house fire, that psycho attacking you, the train blowing up…" He speaks tiredly, as if he's debated with himself over this issue for a long time.

"You can't seriously believe that any of that was your fault?" I say in disbelief.

"It's better this way," he states, his expression pained. "You'll see."

"It's not better!" I shriek, becoming so angry I can hardly think. "Don't you dare do this."

He steps back, swallowing hard. "Goodbye, Ayumi Ogawa." He steps out of the room, ignoring my protests.

I'm about to follow when the healer arrives, halting me. As angry as I am at Lee, I need to focus on my family. Mia and Kanto arrive a moment later, Kanto answering the healer's questions as his mother envelopes me in a warm hug.

I remain silent, watching as the healer works, bending water over my father's bandages, not wanting to peel his poultices off. There is a gentle glow emanating from the water, a sign of progress I suppose.

"Where did your friend go?" Kanto asks quietly, coming to stand next to me. There is the slightest emphasis on the word friend, as if he knows full well that Lee is more than a friend. Or _was._

I don't take my eyes off my father, waiting for a sign of life. "He left me." I have felt compelled to be honest with Kanto, since we were children.

I can feel his dark green eyes regarding me, and if I looked I know I'd see compassion in them. "Are you alright?" He asks.

"No." I say honestly, ready to cry at any moment. My father still has not stirred. "Who tells someone they love them for the first time, and then leaves them forever?" I blurt out, my eyes burning with withheld tears.

"Did he do that to you?" Kanto asked sharply, protectively. We share an unspoken bond, honorary older brother to younger sister.

I open my mouth to reply but the healer beats me to it. A kind faced woman, with incredibly vibrant blue eyes set in a tan face, she addresses me. "You're his daughter?"

"Yes," I say instantly, rushing to my father's side. She has stopped for now, and although I can't see it, I know that beneath the many bandages his skin is slowly improving.

"It will be slow progress, he has been burned worse than I have ever seen," she tells me honestly. "But he will recover from the burns."

"When will he wake up?" I ask, desperate to have my father back to me. It is awful to see him lying in that bed like a corpse.

She shakes her head, exchanging a weighted glance with Mia and Kanto. "It is impossible to tell, it is up to him."

"He's a fighter," I tell her, trying to reassure myself more than anyone.

The healer clears her throat, "There's something else."

"What?" Kanto, Mia and I all demand in unison.

"I don't entirely know," the woman admits, looking helplessly at each of us in turn. "His chi is being negatively affected somehow, I can sense it. It's as if his chi is counteracting our work."

"That doesn't make any sense," Kanto pipes up, his tone clipped. He is stressed, obviously as worried as I am.

"I know," the woman agrees, "I have never felt anything like it." She turns to me, cocking her head slightly as she asks, "Have you ever noticed anything? Any unusual symptoms?"

I shake my head automatically, I've never known him to be sick, and I tell her so. She excuses herself then, promising to return tomorrow, imploring me to watch over him. The healer, who introduces herself as Kara, instructs me to watch for anything suspicious as she leaves.

"Have you ever noticed anything?" I ask Mia desperately, shocked and in disbelief that anything could be wrong with my father.

She shakes her head softly, biting her lip. "Never."

"What could they be talking about?" I ask, desperate for answers. I'm ready to ask my father what is going on, but that's not exactly an option.

"You need to get some rest, Ayumi," Mia informs me, "Let Kanto stay with him."

I shake my head automatically. "No, I'm not leaving him. You two go, I need you to tell Hela where I am and that I'm ok so they don't worry."

She nods, giving my shoulder a motherly squeeze. Kanto gives me a comforting hug and then they're gone, leaving me alone with my father.

"It's just you and me," I tell him brightly, mentally willing him to wake up. It's our reunion after how long and this is what has happened. I want to talk to him, to tell him all about what I've been up to, and about my visions. I want to tell him about Lee, our relationship, even that he's gone. I want him to comfort me and give me relationship advice. I just want to hear his voice, and I want him to tell me everything is going to be ok.

I don't know if everything is going to be ok. I don't know if anything is going to be ok.


	10. Secrets

10 - Secrets

I feel as though I have been sitting next to this bed for years. I've lost track of how much time has passed. Kara comes every day, working her waterbending in an attempt to heal my father. Every day she makes progress on his physical wounds, but every session ends with her features contorting into a deep frown, as she is once again bested by whatever is occurring inside my father.

"I don't get it," she says again and again, "he should be waking up." I'm long past the time of responding to her, she is talking to herself. It's as if she has taken this upon herself as a crusade, how to heal Hiro Ogawa's "curse". All the while my father lies there, so small and lifeless, barely hanging on. I still don't know whether or not he can hear me, but it makes me feel better to talk to him.

Lee hasn't come back, and I haven't been able to leave my father's bedside to go looking for him. He made his choice; as painful as it is for me, it would be too selfish of me to go fighting for him. My father needs me. Mushi comes every morning with a steaming pot of jasmine tea, and few words. He was respectful enough not to ask what went on between Lee and I, but the first day he showed up I vented.

"Your nephew abandoned me," I snapped as soon as he walked in the door. I was so emotional that I no longer knew if I was sad or angry. "He _abandoned_ me, Mushi. Why would he do something like that?"

Mushi gave me that same compassionate look, the one I had grown so accustomed to and drew me into a hug. "My nephew is a troubled young man," he said simply.

I was crying by that point, my body heaving with sobs for all I had lost and stood to lose. Mushi simply held me and let me cry. Hiccoughing I pulled back and stared at him. I said, "I needed him, I still need him. I thought he was going to be here for me; he didn't run when I told him I was an Ogawa, he ran because he thought he was dangerous to me. That's insane! Nothing that's happened has been his fault."

A dark look flickered across Mushi's face, quickly replaced by one of shock. "You're an Ogawa?" He repeated, his voice full of disbelief.

"Yes," I said impatiently, breaking away to pace around the room. "One of the last two remaining, likely to become the last. Daughter of Fei Ogawa, who won't _wake up_! Granddaughter of General Fei Ogawa, disgraced in the siege of Ba Sing Se. The first member of my family to _ever_ be born a nonbender!" I scoffed then, "You want to talk about disgracing one's family…"

Through my whole tirade Mushi simply stared at me, his expression unreadable. When I finally finished ranting, my chest heaving and my head aching from all the tears I had cried, he was looking at me with compassion again. "Don't give up on your father, I'm sure he is a fighter, like you."

"He doesn't look like a fighter, Mushi. He looks defeated." I said in a small voice, sitting hard on my chair. Mushi came to sit next to me, pouring a small cup of jasmine tea.

"This will help," he told me kindly. And it did. We sat in silence together for the rest of the morning, neither of us needing to say anything, just waiting for my father to wake up. Or die.

Hela came the day after, alone. "They're too angry to come right now," she told me gently, referring to all her children who had chosen not to accompany her to visit me. Only the unborn child in her belly was present, and it didn't exactly have a choice.

"They hate me, don't they." I said tiredly, not asking. I didn't blame them, I lied, and if I were them I would hate me too.

Hela didn't answer immediately, she stared for a long moment at my father, or what remained of the man I once knew. "They don't hate you, they're hurt."

"And you?" I asked, glancing over to meet her gaze. I was expecting to find malice and disgust, but all I saw was pity. That was almost worse.

She sighed deeply then, "I'm here, aren't I? I won't ever hate you, Ayumi. I see you as one of my own. You've suffered something terrible, and the last thing you need right now is bitterness." She paused, reaching over to take my hand. "Besides, I understand why you did what you did, and I know you've been leaving me money, I just didn't know why until now."

"I'm sorry that I wasn't honest, that this is what it took for you to find out," I sniffled, gesturing to my father's lifeless form. I felt like crying but felt as if I had cried myself dry. "I'm so scared," I admitted in a small voice.

Hela smiled softly, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "It's ok to be afraid."

She didn't stay long that day, but she came back a few times, promising that her children would eventually come along. Whenever they found they were ready to trust me again, or perhaps when their compassion overshadowed their hurt. I wasn't holding my breath and I'm still not. I don't know how long it's been, but know it's been long enough to assume they won't be coming. I've lost more than I thought.

"Don't let me lose you too," I whisper softly to my dad, taking his hand. I can touch him now, Kara has made enough progress on mending his charred skin that I won't do anymore damage to him. He looks better, still, he will have scars. Maybe one day we can talk about them, should he ever wake up. "I miss him," I tell him then. I had told him all about Lee in the quiet hours we'd spent together, me waiting for some sign that he was going to be ok. I told him how angry I was that he left me, but that at the same time I knew this was just his battered way. Then I would sit in silence, imagining what my father would say to me if he was awake, what wisdom he would impart. Perhaps he'd promise to find Lee and give him a hard time for breaking his daughter's heart, or perhaps he'd tell me to forgive him. I would be happy with any answer at this point, something more than the ragged rhythm of his breathing.

A soft tapping snaps me back to reality, and I look up to see Kara's head pop into the room. She offers an encouraging smile, and I barely manage one back.

"He's looking so much better," she observes, stepping quietly into the room, her piercing blue eyes focused on my father's still form.

"If only he would wake up," I mutter bitterly, before sighing tiredly. "I'm sorry, I know you're doing all you can do. It's him that needs to start fighting."

She keeps her eyes on my father as she sits next to me, bending water from her canteen. "He _has_ been fighting, Ayumi. He's alive, isn't he?"

"Hardly," I say automatically. "I feel like it's just a shell of my father, that he's not in there anymore." I push my chair back as she begins to work her magic, the water glowing as it passes over my father. "I'm going for a walk," I tell her. I can't sit and watch her futile attempts any longer.

I leave the room and end up in the hallway, not having the motivation to walk any further. Defeated, I lean against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor, resting my head on my knees. I sit there, not thinking about anything at all, my mind empty, until Kara comes back outside.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Ayumi," she says, telling me that their has been no change. She offers a hand, pulling me to my feet with a sympathetic smile. "Get some rest." With that she is gone, and I am left to wander back to my father's bedside, feeling utterly alone.

"It's just you and me," I tell him softly, gently patting his hand. It feels as if it is just me. I curl up in my chair, not letting go of his hand, suddenly overwhelmed by exhaustion. It takes moments for me to drift gently to sleep.

 _I open my eyes, I am still next to my father's bedside, but now we are not alone. My mother sits across from me, her hand pressed delicately to my father's forehead as she whispers something in his ear. She meets my gaze then, a warm smile spreading over the worry evident on her face._

" _Ayumi," is all she says, her amber eyes filled with emotion. What those emotions are, I can't tell._

" _Are you here to take him?" I ask her, my voice hard. I breathe as sigh of relief as she shakes her head, her dark hair swaying gently with the motion._

" _It is not his time yet," she responds._

 _I stare at her, unsure of what to say. I can't help but feel angry with her, of all people. "Is this because of you?" I snap then, glaring at her. "Is this happening to him because of you? Because you're Fire Nation?" I've ignored that fact about my mother for so long. My father told me when I was young, although I had guessed it much sooner, her features gave her away. It was the unspoken secret in our family, the one thing I chose never to think about, especially with the war. They were never supposed to be together, earthbenders and firebenders never got along. Now here, in this dream I find I can't let go of that fact. "It was firebenders you know, firebenders like you that did this to him."_

 _There is no anger or offense on her face, simply compassion. "Ayumi," she says gently, her voice full of motherly love. "I'm dead, how could I possibly have done this."_

 _She's right, of course. I am just looking for someone to blame, even here in the dream world. "I'm sorry," I say then, feeling the same pulsing ache in the middle of my forehead._

" _You have every right to be upset right now," she says softly. "I know that your and father and I together would not have made life easy for you if I was still alive, and that the truth of who I was still bothers you. But like it or not, I am a part of you, a part of your story. What happened to your father has nothing to do with that. He needs you to be strong, Ayumi. He is so weak right now, but he is fighting to hold on."_

" _I will always be here for him," I snapped, not able to let go of my anger. "Even when you aren't."_

 _She smiles a sad smile, tears pricking her amber eyes as she presses her hand to my father's forehead again. "There was nothing I could have done to prevent my death, Ayumi, only yours."_

 _I frown, confused. "What do you-?"_

"Ayumi?" My father's weak voice cuts through my dream, jolting me awake. I blink rapidly, trying to clear my eyes in case I'm still dreaming. He's awake, his jade green eyes fixed on me, exhaustion evident on his face.

"Dad?" I dissolve into tears, rushing forwards to wrap him in a hug as gently as I can. He's still so fragile, and so much thinner than I remembered. "Are you really awake?"

"The pain is telling me I'm not dreaming," he chuckles, his voice muffled in my hair. I leap back as if scalded.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," I say rushedly, tears pricking my eyes. "I just can't believe I'm really talking to you right now, and that you're talking back!"

He smiles a grim smile, "I would have been talking back a long time ago, now where's Lee, I believe he deserves a solid kick in the pants."

"You heard me?" My jaw drops, I'm stunned.

"Every word," he nods, frowning slightly. "I couldn't for the life of me wake up."

I think back to my dream, to whatever my mother did that resulted in him finally waking up. _Thank you,_ I think then. To my father I say, "You did it. You're going to be ok."

A heavy look falls across his face as he struggles to sit up a bit, grimacing as his wounds pull. "I need to talk to you, Ayumi, I believe that's why I'm still here. I don't know how long I have."

"What do you mean?" My stomach falls heavily, panic setting in. "You just got back, I just got you back."

He looks at me for a long moment, his jade green eyes unreadable. "I'm dying," he says shortly, as simply as if he had just told me it was going to rain later today.

"What are you talking about?" I demand, shaking my head over and over, "You're getting better, Kara said you're getting better."

"She is prolonging the inevitable, Ayumi." He tells me, reaching for my hand. "Just like the healer that has been working on me for years, with no real progress."

My mind flashes to what Kara had said about my father's chi, that it had seemed something was stopping her from the inside. "You're sick."

He nods shortly, closing his jade green eyes. "As is the Ogawa way."

"What does that _mean_?" I shriek, suddenly unable to contain myself. "What is the _Ogawa way_? What are you sick with? What is wrong with you?"

His eyes remain closed as he sighs tiredly, "I don't know, Ayumi. None of us have known. All our family have ever known is that we die; those with Ogawa blood die."

I rip my hand back, paling. "Those with Ogawa blood?"

"Yes. No one has ever been able to determine what happens, only that our bodies rebel, it's as if our chi is poisoned, and it infects our bodies, deteriorating us." He sighs deeply, his eyes flicking open again. "It starts in the eyes. That is when we know we are sick."

Naomi's face flickers across my mind; the child that I knew and then the woman that she was intended to be, the same person with two different coloured eyes. "Naomi?" I ask then, beginning to understand.

"She was sick for a long time," he confirms. "Her eyes changed before you were born, you didn't know her as the grey-eyed, healthy little girl that she was."

Faces of all my family flashes before my eyes; Naomi, Uncle Fei, Grandpa, Dad… Familiar jade green eyes on each one. "Why jade?"

"I don't know. I wish I could tell you more, I wish I understood it myself," my father sighs helplessly, a frown creasing his brow. "I only know my body has been at war with itself for many years; before you came along, and even before I met your mother."

"Did she know?" I ask quietly. I find it hard to breathe, but yet, somehow deep in my heart I am not surprised. He nods shortly, not saying more than that. I realize then that in this whole conversation I haven't considered myself. "And me?"

He swallows hard, "What about you?"

"Am I sick too?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. "Is my chi poisoning me? Should I expect to die anytime soon?"

It takes him a prolonged moment to answer, he stares at me with jade green eyes that make me angry to look at. When he finally speaks, his voice cracks. "You were." I sit quietly, willing him to continue, waiting for him to elaborate. "You weren't born with two different coloured eyes, Ayumi, that's your scar. Well, that and your arm. Your eye turned early, and your body began to deteriorate quickly. You lost the use of your arm just weeks after."

My mouth is dry as I ask, "What happened? Why am I not dead yet?"

His gaze shoots away from mine, as he quickly says, "You were a miracle, you overcame it."

"You're lying to me, why are you lying to me?" I demand, hurt that he would ever lie to me.

He meets my eyes then, a furious expression on his face. "You _are_ a miracle, Ayumi. The first Ogawa to overcome the curse, to not be destroyed by your own body. Isn't that an answer enough?" He laughs bitterly, shaking his head. "Do you know how bitter your aunt and uncle were that you survived, with only a jade green eye and a lame arm to show for it? While their own little girl continued to suffer and eventually died? While Fei died? And my father died? While everyone died, but _you_?"

I open and close my mouth, unable to speak, stunned by his sudden outburst of fury. All I can do is sit there as he speaks.

"You need to just accept that you are here, and that you are healthy, and be thankful that when you pass on it will be because you have lived out your life, not that it was robbed from you by a curse. Not that you were poisoned and destroyed by your own body. You were given a gift, Ayumi, don't waste it by obsessing over the past."

"Why even tell me?" I whisper.

He sighs tiredly, the rage leaving his body and leaving him lying there looking as small as ever. "I didn't want to lie to you, if I am going to leave you, I want you to know why. I want you to be thankful for your own life in my absence," he explains.

"So you're going to die," I say, it's a statement and not a question.

"I'm an Ogawa, we always die. Some sooner than others, some young, some old like your grandfather. But we always die. It's our curse."

Neither of us speak for a moment, both simply studying each other, processing our conversation in our own way. It's my father who speaks first, inhaling shakily.

"There's so much I haven't told you, so many secrets. I have kept so many secrets. Not all are mine to tell." He says cryptically, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

"My mother?" I ask.

His eyes flicker open again. "Yuna was a secret, yes. I told you about her when you were young, I assume you haven't forgotten about her. You look so much like her." I must have made a face because he adds, "Not exactly like her, it's in the little things; the shape of your eyes, your smile."

"You've never said that," I point out, smiling in spite of everything that is going on.

He chuckles, "We never spoke of her, it wasn't safe. We needed to keep the secret. It wasn't safe for you to be tied to her, not with…" He pauses, shaking his head. The determined expression on his face tells me that he won't finish his sentence, no matter how hard I press. His eyes flicker to the doorway then, his expression brightening.

I follow his gaze to see Mia and Kanto in the doorway, both looking like they are about to burst into tears, stunned and overjoyed. "Come in," I say brightly, "I'll let you say hello." I move away, watching as Mia embraces my father, both of them looking overcome by emotions then. _I have kept so many secrets,_ his words flash across my brain then as I step from the room. Could he and Mia share a secret?

I wouldn't be angry if they did, I realize as I step from the room. My mother has been gone a long time, and Mia and my father knew each other even before then. I shake my head, letting out a huge sigh, stopping short. Codo is standing a bit down the hall, looking very much like he is trying to decide whether or not he wants to come closer or bolt. I stand there staring at him, meeting the anger that is so evident in his eyes.

"You're here," I say simply, stepping towards him and away from my father's door. He nods, staying silent as I come to rest in front of him. He looks older somehow, is that the anger? I can't tell.

"I wanted to make sure you're ok," he snaps. "And that drives me crazy, that no matter how angry I am at you and how much I want to hate you, I want to know you're ok."

I shrug helplessly, "I don't know what to tell you, Codo. I don't have an excuse to try and make you forgive me, an excuse for why I lied. You have every right to hate me, I pretended to be someone I'm not, you must feel like you don't know me at all."

He nods slowly, "Sometimes I feel like I don't, but then sometimes I feel like I know you're the exactly the same person, you just were living under a different name. It's very confusing."

"I don't blame you," I manage a small smile, "It makes me hopeful that you're even here."

"Me too," he sighs, nodding to my father's room. "How is he?"

I shake my head, still in awe. "He woke up, by some crazy miracle he is awake."

Codo's eyebrows shoot up his forehead, "Really?" He pauses, looking past me. "Where's Lee? Is he in there?"

I shake my head, cringing internally at the mention of Lee. "He… We broke things off," I say finally.

"Are you ok?"

I shrug, "I've been distracted, focusing on my dad."

Codo nods, "That makes sense."

"Would you like to meet my father?" I blurt out, suddenly wanting the men that are important to me to meet each other.

Codo smiles grimly, sighing. "I don't know if I'm ready for that, just yet. I'm still angry and if I'm going to meet _the_ Hiro Ogawa I want to make a good impression."

For a second there it had felt that we were slipping back into our old ways, but Codo's guard has come back up. I hurt him, and he's still healing. "I understand," I say.

"I'm going to go now, just know that Crowe should be coming around soon, he's not mad at all, Cami and I just were not letting him go because we're angry."

I nod, smiling slightly. Sweet, innocent Crowe, always seeing the good in everyone no matter the wrong they do. "Thanks for the heads up."

"Take care of yourself, Ayumi," Codo says, turning and strolling out the way he had come. I stand there by myself, feeling entirely overwhelmed, but a little hopeful that my friends are going to come around.

I am drawn again to my father's words, his mention of secrets, and whatever he was lying to my about in regards to my own sickness. There is obviously so much he hasn't yet told me. I feel a rush of panic then, he's dying, and he's literally the only person left that can answer all my questions and unveil all the secrets surrounding me.

I turn on my heel and march back into his room, filled with a sudden rush of determination. "What wasn't safe about my mother?" I demand, not caring that I've disrupted their conversation. There is a moment of silence as all three of them stare at me, matching shocked expressions on their faces.

"Ayumi," my father says warningly, glancing between me and Mia.

"No," I say sharply, not caring that we have an audience. It's my history, and I don't care if they know. "I'm sick of all the secrets, I know you're keeping things from me. I don't care if they know."

Mia stands, coming to take my hands. "We know about your mother Mia, about where she came from. Your Fire Nation blood isn't a secret to us."

My jaw drops as I look back and forth between her and my father. "They know? Well then what's the big secret?"

My father clenches his jaw together, anger flashing across his gaunt face. "This is not the time, Ayumi."

"Why not!" I demand, wrenching my good hand back from Mia and coming to stand next to him. "What is so dangerous about my dead mother being Fire Nation? She's dead!"

My father erupts then, in a rage that I have never seen before, eyes wild. "Exactly! She's dead! And I have worked so hard all your life to keep you safe, and to keep you from suffering the same fate! Do you _want_ to end up like your mother? To have your life ripped from you in a gruesome death? Because I don't want that for you! I have never wanted that for you! And she never wanted that for you either." He is breathing heavily at that point, his rage slowly transforming into exhaustion and sadness.

"Was she murdered?" I whisper, staring at him in horror. It is a fact I have never in all my life considered. His stony silence is answer enough. I glance at Mia, who has covered her mouth with her hand, tears pricking her eyes. Kanto is staring at me, concern written on his face. Neither of them look shocked. "You both knew…" I whisper, stepping back slowly. " _Why_ didn't anyone tell me?"

"We were trying to protect you," Mia says gently then, her voice shaky. "That's all any of us were trying to do." She reaches for me but I recoil, stepping back towards the door.

I need to get out. I am sick of all the secrets then, secrets that everyone but me seems to be in on. Under their gazes I bolt from the room, running as fast as I can out into the evening air, my lame arm swinging uselessly at my side. My arm; one of the only proofs of the Ogawa family curse, yet another secret that I am only just discovering. I do not know where I am running, but I can't stop. If I stop I will have to face the secrets, and that might just make me lose my mind.


	11. The Answer

11

I am thankful that despite having a lame arm, it has never inhibited my ability to run. I don't know where I'm going, I just need to get out. People are startled as I blow past them, asking one another what I could be running from.

"My past!" I want to yell at them. "My past and my life!" That is something only I need to run from. I am the one with the sordid story: the diseased father, the murdered mother, the wounded ex love, the crippled arm.

I am not aware of my surroundings; my mind is overtaken by images of people in my life, memories both recent and distant. Naomi, dad, Lee, mom... Of all my five senses, all I am processing is a bitter metallic taste at the back of my throat, like blood.

I see my mother's face, her sweet, kind face. My fire nation mother. The source of all the mystery in my life.

In my mind's eye I see her death, despite not knowing what really happened. I see her writhing, engulfed by flames, blood pouring from gashes to her torso, neck and face. The vision is so strong that I can smell it; blood, smoke, my mother's burnt flesh. She doesn't scream, she doesn't utter a sound. As if she is keeping a secret.

I am still running, screaming as the vision begins to clear and I am stopped dead in my tracks, all the air in my lungs knocked out as I am thrown to the ground. I gasp raggedly for air, the image of my mother slowly being replaced by a familiar yet unfamiliar figure. Black hair, dark brown eyes, a shocked expression written on a handsome face.

"Ayumi?" He grunts, rubbing his arm where I must have crashed into him. He helps me to my feet, holding me steady as I am finally able to take a proper breath.

"Dane," I wheeze, clutching onto his bicep with my good hand. "What are you doing here?"

He frowns slightly, glancing to his left. I follow his gaze, my eyes resting on Hela's house. "I should ask you the same question."

"I'm here?" I mutter, pulling out of Dane's grip, shaking my head. "How did I end up here?" I muse to myself.

"Are you ok, Ayumi?" Dane asks carefully, staring hard at me. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

I sigh, "And maybe I have. Wait…" I point at him, jabbing my index finger into his chest. "You're speaking to me?"

"What gave it away?" He asks sarcastically, a familiar smirk settling over his face. "Yes, I was mad at first, we all were. But then I realized you had to have had your reasons for lying. I don't need to know what those were, now come," he offers me his elbow, "let's get you back to your father."

I slip my good arm through his without protest, letting him lead me back they way I had apparently run from.

"I wasn't planning to run to your house," I tell him then, groaning slightly at the memory of what felt like running into a brick wall.

"Why exactly were you running? You need to be more careful, I could've seriously hurt you." He asks me then, keeping a comforting and starting pressure on my arm. "Was someone chasing you?"

I chuckle mirthlessly, "Only my past, and my demons."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dane asks softly, keeping his eyes straight ahead on the road in front of us. "Don't feel like you have to, just know that I'm here if you ever need to. We all are."

I wonder then how I missed this kind and sympathetic side of Dane in my time spent with him. Perhaps he was that adept at keeping it hidden behind his rough and impenetrable exterior?

"I just learned that my mother was murdered, and my father has been dying for a long time, from a genetic disease that has wiped out almost my entire family," I blurt out, suddenly needing to tell someone, even if it is Dane, who I've never been close with before.

He stops suddenly, turning to stare down at me, an incredulous expression on his face. "Ayumi…"

"I know it sounds crazy, but it's true, and I was overwhelmed, and might have ran off in a dramatic episode because I didn't know what to do," I say shakily. Taking a deep breath I make to start walking again, but Dane is unmoving.

Without a word he gathers me in a great big bear hug, offering a rare moment of silent and sincere comfort. I feel like I am melting, and want very much to burst into tears and cry until I can't cry anymore. He pulls back eventually, taking my arm again and beginning to walk in the direction of my father.

"Part of me wanted to visit you sooner, mom was giving us all heck for not being there for you when you obviously needed us. I'm sorry I didn't get over my ego sooner, you obviously could have used a friend." His grip on my arm is much tighter now, protective, as if I am his little sister.

"I was expecting you all to hate me and never speak to me again," I tell him honestly, "I lied to all of you."

Dane sighs, shooting me a look out of the corner of his eye. "But your friendship was sincere, was it not?"

"You all became my family," I admit, unconsciously leaning into his arm. "I never had siblings, and you all filled that gap. You filled the gap of the family unit I had always so desperately wanted."

"So then it wasn't all a lie," says Dane. "Besides, what kind of family would just give up on one of their own when they make a mistake? Family isn't always blood, Ayumi."

I don't respond to that, content to walk with my honorary brother in peaceful silence, knowing I've been forgiven by at least him. The streets are quiet as we pass through, heading back to where my demons are waiting for me, back to where the answers to all my questions are locked within my father's deteriorating mind.

"Ayumi," Dane begins after a few minutes, his grip on my arm not wavering. "Where's Lee? Is he with your father?"

It hits me then that he wouldn't know, and I feel a dull pain in my chest. "He… left," I sigh.

"What?" Dane demands, stopping short yet again, his grip on my arm tightening in anger. "He what?"

"He decided he wasn't right for me when my father got back," I explain.

Dane has a murderous expression on his face as he snarls, "You mean as soon as the going got tough, when your father was nearly killed, he took off, leaving you to deal with that all on your own?"

"Yes," I say softly, tugging on his arm to keep moving. "Just forget I told you, Dane, people break up all the time."

"I ought to crush his smug, scarred head between two boulders, break him up." Dane mutters.

"It's over, just forget about it," I say again, having absolutely no desire to discuss Lee right now.

Dane grumbles something incomprehensible under his breath, finally picking up his pace, nearly dragging me the rest of the way back to my father.

"Well, this is your stop," he says gently when we reach our destination, staring down at me. His expression is sympathetic, but I can also see a hint of rage, no doubt at Lee.

"Dane," I blurt out as he turns to go, stopping him in his tracks. As he turns back to stare at me, his dark brown eyes unmoving, I say, "Will you stay?"

I don't know why I'm asking, but Dane seems to, as a gentle smile comes over his face. "Of course, I would need someone right now if I were you, too."

My father is asleep when we enter, his figure looking even more shrunken and defeated, if that's even possible. Careful not to wake him, Dane pulls two chairs together next to the bed, plopping down in one. He lifts up his arm expectantly, and I settle in, leaning my head on his chest.

This isn't a situation I would have ever expected, being that Dane and I were never close, but here we are. In that moment, I am more thankful that I have ever been in my entire life, for something so simple as the support of a friend.

"How's your mom doing? And the baby?" I ask quietly, keeping my eyes fixed on the shaky rise and fall of my father's chest.

Dane chuckles quietly, "She's as huge as ever. I know she's not due for a while yet, but she looks like she's about to pop at any second."

"I hope you don't tell her that to her face!" I shake my head, chuckling.

"Do I look like I have a death wish?" Dane asks in a mock serious tone. "Besides, it's the kid that's huge."

I smile, "Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"

"That's a tough one, I certainly don't need any more brothers, but now I have two sisters so…"

"Two…" It takes me too long to realize he's talking about me. "Oh, right. Well another girl would certainly even out the playing field?"

"I think you and Cami are more than capable," Dane says quietly.

I glance up at him, "Are you forgetting I'm not a bender?"

"You, Ayumi Ogawa, don't need to be a bender, you're a capable enough threat on your own."

"That has to be the nicest thing you've ever said to me," I tell him, smiling to myself. "It's nice to hear my full name."

"Oh, sorry, is that supposed to be Miss Ayumi Ogawa? Lady Ayumi Ogawa? Her supreme majesty Ayumi Ogawa?" He teases.

I jab my elbow into his ribs, "I think goddess divine Ayumi Ogawa is fitting, don't you?"

"Absolutely," Dane tells me seriously, a hint of a smile in his voice. He clears his throat then, "So, do I need to go beat that heart-deserter up for you?"

I sigh, shaking my head, "It's complicated. He's complicated…"

"It can't be that complicated, either you're there for someone or not," Dane states confidently.

"Everyone has their own demons and issues, that's what can make two people coming together so difficult, Dane."

"Why do you keep defending him?" He demands, his body tensing next to me.

I look up at him again, noting the anger written on his face. "I don't know," I whisper, tears filling my eyes.

"Hey, Ayumi, I'm sorry," He says earnestly, wiping the stray tear running down my cheek. "I didn't mean to be harsh, I just don't like to see you hurt. None of us do."

I nod tiredly, "I know, I'm not sure why I'm crying. I'm just overwhelmed by everything and exhausted."

"Sleep, if you need," Dane says softly, his arm circling around my sling protectively. "I'll watch over you both, and wake you if anything changes."

"Thank you," I whisper, my eyelids suddenly heavy. I slip effortlessly into a dreamless sleep.

"You came back," my father says gently as I open my eyes. He is sitting up in bed, fingers laced together on his lap in anticipation. "Is this Lee?"

I follow his gaze, realizing Dane is in a deep sleep, his arm still looped protectively around me. I didn't dream, yet I slept long, as the sun is already climbing its way up the sky.

"This is Dane," I say quietly, not wanting to wake him. "He's one of the brothers of the family that took me in."

My father smiles slightly, "I was about to ask if there was another boyfriend you needed to tell me about."

I smile grimly, not moving from under Dane's arm, wanting to remain in this feeling of sanctuary as long as I can. "I ran so hard and fast I didn't know where I was going, ran until I crashed into Dane. I was trying to get away from my demons, but I couldn't outrun them."

"You can't outrun a part of yourself," my father tells me cryptically, studying Dane curiously. "I'm sorry I was so harsh with you."

"And I'm sorry I pried, I know I can be stubborn."

A smirk spreads across my father's pale face, a whisper of his former self. "Well you are an Ogawa, so I'm not surprised."

"I come by it honestly," I tease, allowing myself to smile. Just like that, we are right back into our joking ways, and I can see hints of my old father underneath this burnt up shell. "I have so many questions for you."

"And so many of those questions, I can't answer," he sighs deeply. "You must hate me."

"I hate being lied to," I shake my head, "But I've done my fair share of that." I glance up at Dane then, adding, "You know that I could never ever hate you."

He gives me a comforting smile, knowing full well what I'm talking about. "Your friends will come around, it seems they've already begun to."

"I still dream about her you know," I blurt out then, my mind stuck on my mother like so many times before. "Or at least my memory of her."

"You were so young… so was she." He stares at me, pain in his eyes. His voice shakes ever so subtly when he adds, "I haven't dreamed about her in years, I try to forget about her. The memory is too painful."

"Because she was murdered?" I try gently, biting my lip. It still doesn't feel real when I say it aloud, it seems too bizarre to ever be real.

"I can't go there, Ayumi. It's not safe." The anguish in his eyes hurts me to see, and I instantly regret forcing him to think about the most painful aspect of his life, Yuna.

I sigh gently, wishing there was something do to help him. "Where can you go? You said you had a lot of secrets, which can you tell me?"

He closes his eyes, silent for a moment. When he looks at me his jade green eyes are filled with tears. "I'm afraid if I tell you any of my secrets you won't look at me the same."

"You're all I have left," I tell him sternly. "I am not going let anything get in the way of us. Not with you…" I break off, not prepared to face the reality that he is dying on my own. "I don't want to be left with mysteries, questions and uncertainties instead of just your memory."

"I wasn't injured in the war," he blurts out then, his first secret. "My bones began to deteriorate and an awkward step caused my leg to break. It was because of my sickness."

"Oh dad," I say, feeling for him. He's staring down at his hands in shame, and I know it hurts him, an Ogawa, to be so physically weak. "Did uncle Fei and aunt Pearl hate me?" I counter, suddenly needing to know.

He shakes his head automatically, "No, I think they were more jealous of me for having a little girl who was going to live."

"I don't blame them," I admit. I can't but help feel guilty, like somehow this whole thing was my doing. "I saw Naomi in a dream, how she was supposed to look. She was stunning, like grandma, and so strong."

He smiles thinly at that, "She was always so much like your grandfather, made of steel beneath her ailing body. Everyone always said she got her grandmother's looks and her grandfather's personality."

I don't respond, waiting for him to share whatever secret he's decided to spill next. He doesn't though, instead he cocks his head, regarding me with a smile. "I've got an idea, let's trade secrets. I told one, now it's your turn."

I can't help but burst out laughing, never have expecting to play this sort of game with my father of all people. I stop short as Dane stirs, afraid I've laughed too loud. "Alright, I'll bite." I agree quietly. "I fell in love with someone while I was here."

"Your refugee who left you when you needed him most?" My father clarified, an unimpressed frown settling on his face.

I nod, smiling sadly. "That's the one. What's worse is I still love him, even after that. I feel connected to him, dad. I know I'm young, but look at you and mom! Or grandpa and grandma. You were all young. Mind you, he's gone, but I still feel like… he's the one," I finish slowly. It is so weird to say that out loud.

He studies me for an extended moment, his offending eyes searching my face. "Perhaps he is. If he came crawling back would you take him? I have to admit, I was hoping you were about to tell me you'd fallen in love with Dane."

"Yes," I say automatically, cringing under his gaze, ignoring his comment about Dane. "I know that is so weak of me but I would, I love him." I sigh, managing a small smile, in spite of everything. "Your turn," I inform him.

"Alright, I haven't been able to bend for some time," he says, the shameful expression returning to his face. "My chi paths are so convoluted."

I frown, confused. "What have you been doing at the front, then?"

"Strategy," he admits, looking bitter. He must feel like the most important part of him had been taken away. "Your turn."

"I had nightmares that something bad was going to happen, mom was trying to warn me." He looks absolutely disturbed at this, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

He finds his voice eventually, "You know your mother is gone?"

I nod, "They're just dreams." I fix a pointed look on him then. "I have a question for your turn, do you have feelings for Mia?" I've had my suspicions.

"I…" He is at a loss for words, unsure of how to proceed. His silence answers my question but I still wait, wanting to hear what he has to say. "Mia and I have known each other a long time, Ayumi. Before I even met your mother."

"When you say _known_ ," I begin, but he cuts me off with a look.

"She was my girlfriend."

My jaw drops, but yet part of me knew this. "You still love each other, don't you."

"After your mother died, there was a period in which I was too depressed to even eat. I was not prepared to be the father you needed, I was so stuck in my sadness and pain. Mia… she got me out of it, and at first I hated her for it. She harped on me until I finally came to my senses. We rekindled our friendship, and it took years, but we became more than that, like we'd been before."

"So you are in love again?" I clarify, feeling both happy for him and sad for my mother.

"Don't misunderstand me, Ayumi. I will _always_ love your mother," he tells me desperately, his eyes searching mine. "But yes, Mia and I are in love again."

I smile sadly, realizing then that it will end. Their relationship is doomed to end, my father is dying. Mia is so brave, loving someone she knows she is going to lose.

I hear a soft tapping on the door frame then, and I glance over my shoulder to see Mushi, tray full of tea in hand. "Mushi! I wasn't expecting you!"

"Is it a bad time?" He asks gently, at the sight of my father, his eyes widen. "He is awake." His eyes slide from my father to where Dane is sleeping with his arm still around me, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Mushi, this is Hiro Ogawa, my father," I bolt up from my chair, startlingly Dane awake in the process, gesturing to where my father lays in bed. My father, for his part is looking utterly confused. "Dad, this is Mushi. He makes the best tea in the city."

"You are too kind," Mushi steps into the room, depositing the tray on the table before stepping forwards to how to my father. "It is a pleasure to meet you, sir."

"Likewise," my father grins, nodding in return. His eyebrows drop out of nowhere, drawn together as he squints at Mushi. "Are you that young man's uncle then?"

Mushi raises an eyebrow, "That depends which young man you are referring to."

"The one who broke my daughter's heart," says my father drily.

"Dad!" I blurt out, shaking my head as they both spin to look at me. "Not the time."

"That would be my nephew," Mushi sighs, shaking his head tiredly. "A complicated young man."

"Complicated…" Dane mutters then, rubbing his eyes tiredly, shaking his head. "That's one word for him."

"Dane, Mushi, Mushi, Dane," I rattle off quickly, unable to remember if they've ever officially met.

"Would you like a cup of tea, Dane?" Mushi says kindly, ignoring Dane's earlier jab against his nephew. I cringe, the situation is so awkward all of a sudden. Here are three of the important men in my life, three unique and powerful personalities meeting together in one room.

Dane manages a tired smile, "Thank you, but I should really get home, I'm sure my mother will be wondering where I've got off to." He gives me a quick hug, before excusing himself. "Let me know if you need anything, goddess divine."

"Nice guy," my father observes pointedly, as if simultaneously observing that Lee is not in fact a nice guy. He ignores the "goddess divine" comment.

Mushi smiles, offering my father a cup of tea, ignoring said pointed comment. "Ayumi was lucky to have such a kind family take her in and look after her."

"Yes if only they could have protected her from heartbreak as well," says my father, taking a small, casual sip of his tea.

"Dad," I snap, shooting Mushi an apologetic look.

"It's alright, Ayumi," Mushi says quickly, not looking the least bit upset. "It is not unusual for a father to be protective of his daughter's heart."

My father nods in agreement, a small smile on his face. "Exactly, I promised her mother I'd protect her heart as earnestly as I'd protect her life."

"Very commendable," Mushi smiles, offering me a steaming cup of tea.

"Not like abandoning someone at the peak of their tribulations," my father snaps. My jaw drops, I'm not used to seeing this aggressive side of him.

Mushi doesn't look the least bit offended, despite my father's consistent rudeness. "As I said before, my nephew is a complicated young man," he says gently.

"Dad, enough," I snap. How Mushi is not angry in the slightest, I have no idea. I on the other hand am mortified that my father could ever be so rude. "No more talking about Lee."

"I should be leaving," Mushi cuts in, "the tea house needs my attending. It was good to meet you, Hiro Ogawa, I wish you well."

"You as well," My father nods shortly, finally remembering a smidgen of his manners.

As soon as Mushi has left, I slam my first down on the arm of my chair. "How could you embarrass me like that? You were so rude!"

"I only spoke the truth," my father argues, his jade green eyes narrowing. "My apologies if I don't have the energy to sugarcoat anything today."

"No sugarcoating, hey?" I snap, "Perfect, then don't sugarcoat the truth."

He frowns, looking at me as if I am a new person, that this raging girl is not his daughter. "What?"

"Who. Killed. My. Mother." I grind out, suddenly furious at him for both his rudeness and his lies.

"Ayumi…"

"NO." I shout. "Who. Killed. My. Mother." I repeat this over and over like a curse, yelling at the top of my lungs, each time louder than the next, my throat burning with the effort. He seems to shrink before my furious barrage, as if he does not even see me, until…

"ARGGHH!" A guttural yell tears from his lips, as the ground splits beneath me, swallowing me up to my neck. "I SAID NO," he booms, panting with the effort.

I try to move something, anything, but I am totally paralyzed, trapped by the earth. "You…"

"Zhao," my father whispers, his face blanching as he collapses back against his pillow, leaving me trapped in my earthen prison.


	12. Truths

12

Truths

"I thought… I thought I killed him," I admit as I stare at the ground, my voice shaking and small. "What if he doesn't wake up?"

"Ayumi, no one blames you for this, or for needing answers. He should never have kept so much from you," Kanto says firmly, his arm around my shoulder.

It's been three days, but it's felt like three years. Kanto was the one to find me, buried up to my neck in the earth, stunned at what had just transpired. He told me later I was calling out, over and over for my father, even after he freed me from the earth. Despite all my calling, he didn't wake up. Not then, and not now, thirty-six hours later.

"Have you slept?" Cami asks me, her face echoing the concern written on all their faces. Kanto, Cami, Codo and Dane, the siblings having arrived an hour ago.

I shrug, not really wanting to answer, knowing none of them would approve with the truth. "I'm fine," I say, not bothering to put any effort into sounding convincing.

"Ayumi…" Kanto begins, opening and closing his mouth, looking very much like like doesn't know what to say. Of everyone here, he looks about as worried as I am, perhaps even more.

"I think we should let him rest," Cami ventures, her voice surprisingly hard. Somehow I know if anyone tried to argue her she wouldn't back down. To me she says, "And you need to rest too."

The others nod in agreement before I can argue. I am outnumbered by stubborn people who are worried and care about me.

"I for one could use a cup of tea," Kanto announces, stifling a yawn. He glances around at the rest of us, "Why don't we go for a quick cup and then Ayumi can go rest at your place? She shouldn't be alone."

"I'm right here you know," I say sharply.

Kanto smiles apologetically, "Sorry, Ayumi, are you good with the Pao Family Tea House? I hear they have legendary tea."

There's an extended moment of silence as I try to register what he just said. Codo clears his throat awkwardly, eyebrows raised. Seeing a curious look spread across Kanto's face I blurt out, "Sure!" That's not a conversation I want to have. Plus, I can't hide forever, and seeing Mushi is always good.

"Let's go now then," Cami chirps, her eyes burning into me.

We are a haphazard looking group as we make our way towards the Tea House. I'm between Dane and Kanto, who are having a conversation about military history, speaking around me. Cody and Cami are to Dane's left, chatting about their unborn sibling.

"Wait," Kanto slaps his hand against my shoulder, muttering a quick apology as I grunt, more from surprise than pain. "He earthbended."

"Yes…?" I say, not entirely sure where he's going with this train of thought.

To my surprise, he bursts out laughing. "That's great!"

"Uhh, Kanto, why are you so excited?" I ask. Last time I checked my father was still lying incapacitated in a hospital.

"He _earthbended_ ," he squeezes my shoulder. "That will be such good encouragement for him when he wakes up, he'll want to fight!"

 _If he wakes up_ , I think, always the pessimist. "What if it was a fluke?" I ask instead, a little less pessimistically than my thoughts.

"I'll work with him," he says firmly, and I can't help but envy his faith. "We can't give up on him."

We reach the Tea House then, and I opt for yanking open the door with my good hand instead of responding. As everyone else files in, I take a breath to steady myself.

A quick scan of the room reveals Lee is nowhere in sight, and I breathe a sigh that is one part relief and one part disappointment. Kanto leads us to a table against the wall, smiling at Mushi as he approaches.

"You look older," he says as he observes me, coming to stand in front of our table. His brown eyes are full of concern. "How is your father?"

I shrug noncommittally, "As well as can be expected, I guess. He seemed to be doing better, but now I'm not so sure."

"Hiro Ogawa is a fighter," Kanto states, his green eyes flashing in determination. He's been spending too much time with my father, having absorbed his stubbornness, apparently. "He'll come through."

This is the last thing I want to discuss. As if able to read my mind, Cami blurts out, "Five cups of jasmine tea, please!" She shoots me a sympathetic look when I smile my thanks. Mushi nods in understanding, promising to be quick, but I can feel his worried gaze on me as he walks away.

"So, how's your mother doing?" Kanto asks of the siblings, suddenly anxious to divert the topic, to distract me from my circumstances. I smile to myself, knowing that had he known who works in this very Tea House, he wouldn't have chosen it as my distraction. Not when one of my biggest distractions is an employee.

Cami shakes her head, groaning, "Impatient," she says of her mother, and I believe it. "She says she's almost twice as large as she was with any of us at this time, I wouldn't be surprised if she delivered a boulder instead of a baby."

"And I wouldn't be surprised if she delivered a full-grown man," Codo chuckles.

"Woman," Cami corrects, pointing at her brother. "We all know it's going to be another girl."

Dane smirks, "Sorry, Cami, you're destined to eternally be the only girl in a house full of earthbending men."

It amazes me then, as Cami kicks her older brother under the table, how easily they can pretend everything is normal. I suppose for them it is. They're not the ones with a father who they don't know whether he will live or die. Not for the first time, I feel a pang of envy.

Mushi returns then, true to his word, five cups of steaming tea balanced on a small tray. He smiles at us as he delivers the tea. "I think, it will be one of each," he tells us simply.

"Twins?" Dane muses, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "I never thought of that."

"It would explain why your mother is so large?" Kanto suggests, his long arms folded across his chest.

"My vote is still with either a really _really_ large baby boy, or a full-grown man," Codo says seriously, his dark eyes twinkling.

Somehow twins seems right to me, and I tell them so. Mushi smiles approvingly as I speak.

"I've always wanted a twin," I admit. "Or any sibling really."

"You've got us," Cami grins.

"And me," Kanto winks, nudging me with his shoulder. I smile, despite all the negativity I've been feeling. They are family, whether or not they're blood.

The door creaks open then, all of our eyes turning to see what made the sound. For a moment, I forget how to breathe. My mouth turns dry. My heart, is a rush of conflicting emotions. Butterflies, and dread. Happiness, and heartbreak.

He looks older. I see my own feelings in his face, my struggle, my heartache. It's sympathy I feel then, contrasted by bitterness, after all _he_ did this to us. His amber eyes lock in on me from the first step he takes into the house, hesitating, looking very much as if he wants to sprint back the way he came.

But he takes another step, and then another, all the while steadily approaching. We are all watching him, I realize, and surprisingly there is no animosity on my friends' faces. Only curiosity.

"Lee," Mushi says warmly, beckoning him towards us. "Come say hello."

Looking as uncertain as I feel about Mushi's invitation, Lee seems to steel himself, quickening his pace the rest of the way to our table.

I don't want to look at him, but I can't stop. He's fighting to meet my gaze, desperate to look anywhere else. The tension is so thick, so suffocatingly thick.

"Hello," he grinds out after a painful moment. He looks around the table, making direct eye contact with everyone, except me. "Cami, Codo, Dane, how's Hela?"

As the siblings burst into another tirade about how oversized their mother currently is, I am furious. How dare he avoid me? How dare he not even acknowledge what happened? What is obviously _still_ happening? If everything were normal he wouldn't be so cold. I want to earthbend a rock into his handsome face, if only I could earthbend.

Of course he says all the right things, automatically getting my friends talking, tricking them into forgetting the fact that he broke my heart. Even Kanto seems positively charmed.

I don't realize I've been steadily tightening my grip on my cup until it shatters into my good hand, startling everyone and eliciting a shrill scream from Cami.

"Ayumi! Are you alright?" She reaches for my hand, automatically assessing.

I am so furious that I don't even register or even feel the cuts and glass shards sticking out of my palm. "I'm bleeding," I announce woodenly, standing up and walking towards the kitchen. I don't wait for anyone, knowing they must have some sort of bandages or towel I can steal. Once in the back room I stop dead, no longer caring about my hand. All my fury is slowing transforming into grief, mixing with my grief over my father.

My handed cradled against my dress I feel the first tear slide down my cheek, and the fabric against my hand become sticky.

"Let me help you," Lee says gently from behind me. He doesn't give me a chance to argue, leading me gently to a wash basin against the far wall. Grabbing a clean cloth, he begins to first gently extract the glass from my cuts, his eyes fixed his work. "That was because of me, wasn't it." As usual, it's not a question.

But I answer anyway, "Yes." I want to make him feel guilty. It _is_ his fault. He had to go and give up on what I had wanted so desperately to fix.

"I understand if you hate me," he tells me, still not bothering to acknowledge me with a glance. He is beyond infuriating. "I know I hurt you."

"You _don't_ know," I blurt out, feeling the fury well up in my chest. "You have absolutely no idea how you made me feel. Now you can't even be bothered to look at me."

He doesn't answer, now simply focused on washing my hand. Up until now I'd ignored the feeling of the touch of his skin against mine. So familiar. I watch as the water turns steadily pink, waiting for him to speak.

"You don't know how hard this is," he tells me finally, still not looking up.

"I think I do," I say quietly, part of me having understood the whole time, just not willing to accept it. "You're scared."

His face darkens, his eyes finally snapping up to glare at me, only for a second. Long enough for me to see the pain in them as he snaps, "I am _not_ scared."

"Yes, you are. You're scared that if you look at me, talk to me or touch me you won't be able to stop," I ramble. I realize I'm talking about myself, but from his expression I know I've hit a nerve. "But unlike you I can't keep from doing those things. I don't have your self control."

It's the truth. The feeling of his hand against mine is intoxicating, even being the briefest of contact. Seeing him, after what hasn't even been that long, is like water in a desert. But somehow the water is poisonous.

"I'm not safe for you," he says again, his voice less confident than last time, as if he doubts his own words. "I'm dangerous."

"I was never with you because I thought you weren't dangerous, Lee," I begin, watching as he flinches at the sound of his name, his face paining.

"What was it then?" He mutters quietly, glancing up at me again. This time it takes a second longer for him to look away, digging quickly in a nearby cupboard for a bandage.

"I was with you, because you felt like home. You felt right, it _was_ right. Heck, it _is_ right. I was with you because I love you." I take a shaky breath, watching as he processes my words. I used the present tense of love, not the past. I wonder if he caught it, not that it was at all subtle.

"It's not that I don't love you too," he tells me, speaking as carefully as he wraps my bandages. "It's that I want to protect you."

I can't help but smile at his use of "love" not "loved", maybe there's hope for us yet. "What better way to protect me than to be with me," I tell him. It's not a question.

The door to the kitchen bursts open before he can respond, revealing a panicked Kanto. "He's asking for you, and he's not doing well."

I am up and moving without a second glance at Lee, this issue can wait. My father is my priority, I've been selfish to even be dwelling on my relationship problems right now.

Kanto and I leave in a rush, the others promising to check in. He almost looks more worried than I do as we run, and I realize he really has come to view my father as his father.

My father is staring at the door when we arrive, Mia at his side, holding his hand. He looks even more fragile and small, if that's even possible. A small smile flickers on his face as I step into the room.

"There's my girl, come sit with me. There is much we need to discuss."

Planting a kiss on top of my head, Mia leads Kanto from the room, leaving me alone with my father.

"You're awake," I say, not entirely sure what else _to_ say.

A wry smile stretches across his face, wrinkling his jade green eyes. "I hear I trapped you in the ground, good to know I still got it." His eyes seem even more vibrant today.

"I should never have spoken to you like that, or pushed you." I take his hand in my good one, or semi-good one, unable to feel the rough of his hands with my bandages in between. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize, just listen. I have lived the entirety of your life lying to you." He takes a shallow breath, his eyes squeezing shut. "I was trying to protect you."

"I don't need to know, dad," I blurt out, not wanting him to waste his time trying to answer all my questions. Something tells me he does not have much longer left.

"No," his eyes fly open, and he tightens his grip on my cut hand, making me wince. "She wants me to be honest, she always wanted me to be honest."

I frown, "Who, mom?"

"She came to me in a dream," he nods. "She says it's time you know the truth. But some of it you need to hear from her."

"What do you mean?" I ask, he's not making any sense.

A small smile spreads across his face as he regards me. "You will have time together, soon. She has much to tell you, things I cannot, things about how you survived when all the rest of us were overtaken by the curse."

"I think you need to rest," I say slowly, despite my brimming curiosity. "You're not well."

"You need to know about your mother's death. She was murdered by that cursed firebender, one of her own, her own brother!" Tears flicker in his eyes, and fury on his papery face. "Her own brother."

"Mom had a brother?" This is news to me, almost more shocking than finding out she was murdered. "I have other family."

"That wretched man is dead, but there is also a sister. Your mother loved her dearly, she even loved her brother, which made her death all the more tragic."

"I have an aunt?" I can't help but feel a small flicker of hope, despite the severity of the topic.

He nods once, "Your Aunt Kira, and your Uncle… that murderous scum, Admiral Zhao."

I gasp so hard that I choke on my own air, desperately trying to talk and breathe at the same time. The man who ravaged my home, was my own flesh and blood? I feel sick to my stomach then. Not only am I Fire Nation, but I'm related to that monster.

"You're nothing like him," my father says then, as if reading my mind. "And neither was your mother. They were close as children, but as they got older, they grew apart. Your uncle was as ambitious as he was vicious even then, unlike your sweet mother. When she left, well it was as if she had committed treason. When he found out she had married an Earthbender and had you, an Earth Nation non-bender, well that was too much for him to bear. He didn't just want to kill her, he wanted to kill all of us. She sacrificed herself by leading him away, but he found us in the end. That was why it was so important for you to get away. He wouldn't have been merciful to you. He would have slaughtered you just as easily as he slaughtered your mother."

I try to fathom what he is telling me, but the truth has hit me like a tonne of bricks. I have a family, and I am related to a psychopath who killed my mother, the woman who gave me life. "I should have never asked," I say then, shaking my head.

"The truth can be a hard pill to swallow, but it is a necessary one. It was wrong of me to leave you with so many uncertainties, your mother made that clear. There is so much more she will tell you. As for me, I only have one more confession." He stares at me for a moment, an uncharacteristically nervous look on his face. "I'm ready to die, I've held it off as long as I can, but I'm ready. But I could not go without making things right."

"What is it?" I ask, my curiosity again bubbling up.

"Kanto is my son."

He says it so simply, as if he were telling me it was raining outside, that for a moment I think he is joking.

"What…" I mumble, not finishing my sentence. I know it in my heart that's it's the truth. I have a brother. Where I felt I was about to lose my only blood, I have gained a brother and an aunt. "You and Mia," I say finally, feeling tears prick in my eyes."

"I never want you to feel alone," he tells me, reaching his hand out to cup my chin. "And know that I don't love you any less."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask then.

"He didn't know," Mia says from the doorway, her eyes puffy. "I never told him until before you got here."

I turn at stare at my dad in amazement, "I guess you aren't the only one with secrets."

"No I'm not," He agrees. "Now, I need to speak with my son, Ayumi could you send him in?"

I nod, plopping a kiss on his forehead. There isn't much time, and Kanto deserves to hear this truth from his father and mother.

My breath hitches in the back of my throat when I find him, wondering how I didn't see the similarities sooner. I was never looking for them, I realize. It's nothing distinct, more in the way they are structured. I see more of my grandfather in Kanto's face than anything, something that makes me sad and happy all at the same time.

"They want to see you," I tell him, wiping at my tear-filled eyes with my good hand.

He wastes no time in going to them, perhaps he suspects there is a hard truth waiting for him too. I sit daintily on the ground, left alone with my mess of thoughts and emotions, and wanting nothing more than to burst into hideous tears.

"Are you ok?" I glance up to see Lee staring down at me, a heavy frown on his face. He's looking at me like I've _made_ him come here, that I've done this.

 _You walked here with your own too legs, buddy,_ I think, nodding slowly in answer to his question. "I'm just dealing with a lot right now."

"I see…" He sits down beside me then, staring up into the clear sky above us.

"What are you doing here, Lee?" I ask, only because I am already tired and emotionally worn out. It has been a trying day.

He sighs, shaking his head. "I don't know. I looked, and now I can't stop looking," he says to the sky.

 _I touched and now I can't stop touching,_ I think, fighting to keep my good hand from moving to his.

"I'm sorry if it seems like I'm playing mind games," he blurts out, glancing at me quickly. He angry scar is facing me, somehow it does nothing to reduce his handsomeness.

"It does seem that way. On top of that my father is dying, I just learned I have a brother, an aunt and my uncle murdered my mother in cold blood." I sigh, closing my oddly coloured eyes. "Do you ever wish you could just flash forward through all the difficult stuff in life and get to the moments where everything is stable again? Where you've coped and made peace?" I pause, glancing at him.

Lee nods slowly, meeting my gaze for a little longer. "Or flash backwards and prevent an event from happening, or a mistake from being made." His words hang between us, and I know he's talking about me when he adds, "Or flash forwards and know whether or not you've made the right decision."

"You made the wrong decision," I say instantly, before I can stop myself.

"I took the easy way out," he admits.

"Well it's not too late to take the difficult way back in," I say, staring down at the ground. I've said it, I've laid it out there for him. The invitation into my life has been offered.

"It's not?" He asks, sounding the slightest bit hopeful.

"It's not," I confirm. I look at him then, and compelled by what I couldn't say, I lean over and kiss him. My hand stings as I brace myself up against the cuts in my palm, but I don't care. His hand slips around my back, crushing me against him, then sliding up to tangle in my hair.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt…" Kanto clears his throat, and we spring apart as if scalded yet again.

Part of me wants to laugh. Kanto is standing behind us, his face red in embarrassment as he stares at us. I don't blame him, I would be embarrassed too if I caught my newly discovered siblings locked in a passionate embrace.

"Do you need me?" Lee asks, avoiding Kanto's eyes.

 _Do I ever,_ I think, my own face blushing at where my mind went. I clear my throat, shaking my head. "I need to be with my family now," I tell him. Gesturing to Kanto, I say, "This is my brother, Kanto."

Lee raises his eyebrows as he shakes Kanto's hand. "I didn't know you had a brother."

"Neither did I," I say, just as Kanto says, "Neither did she."

"Nice to meet you," Lee says, still looking a touch shocked.

I smile at him reassuringly. "I'll be fine, and we'll get together later, to figure all this out," I gesture between us.

As Kanto and I walk through the halls towards my father's room, he nudges me in the shoulder. "Seems like you two already got it figured out."

"Not officially, that kiss was just in the heat of the moment. We need to fix us." I clear my throat, ignoring the smirk that had appeared on his face ever since we stepped inside.

" _Kisses_ ," Kanto corrected. "Plural. That was more than just "a kiss"."

"Don't tell dad," I instruct, smiling at the notion of having a sibling to share secrets with, and to refer to my father with.

A matching smile is on Kanto's face as he loops his arm through mine. When we step into our father's room, his face lights up at the sight of us.

"My kids," he says softly, already looking even weaker than he did earlier. "My kids are together and here with me."

"We're right here dad," I say, settling into the chair next to his head. He reaches for my hand and I oblige. "I'm not going anywhere."

His eyes close slowly, and he smiles. "I love all of you, and I have made my peace with all of you. I can stop fighting."

It takes only minutes for him to drift to sleep, still holding my hand. Kanto, Mia and I sit together in silence, the only sound being my father's rhythmic and ragged breathing.

When I wake in the morning, he is gone. But I am not alone. My brother slips his arm around my shoulder, giving me a comforting squeeze. I have a brother, and an Aunt. Maybe my father will visit me in my dreams like my mother.

His words echo in my mind then, _You will have time together, soon. She has much to tell you, things I cannot._ I'm unsure of what he means, but I am well aware of the feeling of panic rising steadily in my throat. Something is about to happen, something that will change everything.


	13. Chapter 13

13

 _It's been a week, and it is as if we've been siblings all our lives. Nothing feels abnormal or out of the ordinary, if anything life feels more normal than it did before I knew Kanto was my brother. He feels the same, and we both know it made brought father peace to have us know the truth._

 _I honestly don't know how I didn't see it before; Kanto is so much like my father, even more like him than I am. It's in the way he talks, and in little things, like how he pinches his lips between his fingertips when he's deep in thought._

 _I feel as though I haven't completely lost my father. We had a private gathering, just Kanto, Mia and myself, sharing our favourite memories of him. Once we can return home, Kanto and I will bury him. We agreed that it wasn't right to leave him to rest here in Ba Sing Se._

 _Now comes the difficult part: deciding my future. And it's difficult in part because I don't have my father to look to for guidance. There are so many uncertainties._

 _Mia has gently reminded me on more than one occasion of what my father's wishes were for me. The safe house in the upper ring. But that decision is not so easy; I'm slowly sorting things out with Lee, and now I have my second family. I don't know if I'm ready to say goodbye to anyone. I feel guilty, though, for not honouring his wishes for me. I know all he wanted was for me to be safe, and part of me thinks that's what I need to do, but I can't. Not yet._

"Ayumi?" Mia has poked her head into the room that Cami and I share, her fist hovering over the door frame. She must have knocked and I did not hear. "Do you have time to talk?"

I nod, sitting up to make room on the bed I've been sprawled across. I already know what she wants to talk about, but I still ask, "What's on your mind?"

"Your father," she admits with a small sigh.

"I hear you."

She regards me for an extended moment, thin brows drawing together. "I know that you've made somewhat of a life here…" she begins, her tone light and compliant. "But I don't think your father's wishes for you have changed."

"My situation has changed, though," I tell her bluntly, feeling a flicker of annoyance. This is not the first time we have had this conversation, and I'm assuming it likely will not be the last. "I am also old enough to make up my own mind."

"I'm just not sure you're thinking clearly."

Her words hang heavy between us, I am stunned. "And who are you to decide that?"

"I just mean that you're young, and you're grieving," she adds quickly.

I stiffen, "I don't know if you haven't noticed, but I'm no stranger to loss. I have lost my entire family, save for my brother, and the aunt I never knew about."

"I mean I don't think you should be letting that young man influence your decisions," she blurts. "You are so young."

"That's actually none of your business," I snap. "Just because you slept with my father, doesn't make you my mother."

Mia looks as if she's been slapped, but I don't regret my words. She has overstepped. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, with no words coming out.

"In fact, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go meet that _young man_ for dinner." With that I jump up off the bed, and storm out, not giving her a chance to respond.

I pass Hela and Cami in the kitchen, both their faces a mask of sympathy and curiosity, and I know they've heard the entire conversation. I don't exactly have a tendency to speak quietly when I'm angry.

"I'll be back," I call over my shoulder, marching straight out the door and into Dane. "Oh!" I squeak.

"Do I look that scary?" He smirks, grabbing the door before it can fall back against me.

I match his smirk, "I'm afraid so!"

"Takes one to know one, they say!" He chuckles as I punch him in the shoulder with my good hand. "Watch it, Ogawa."

"Didn't your mother ever teach you to be nice to girls?" I ask with a mock look of annoyance, returning his teasing.

"I certainly did!" Hela answers from the kitchen window. "But the lesson never stuck with this one!"

Dane sticks his tongue out at Hela, "hilarious, mother."

"I am, aren't I!" With that she disappears, having had her fun.

Mia is waiting until I'm gone to leave, no doubt wanting to avoid another heated and awkward confrontation. Probably best.

"How you feeling?" Dane asks, leaning against the railing. His dark eyes earnestly search my face, as if trying to see all the way through me to read my heart. "Truly."

"It's hard," I sigh, cradling my bad arm in my good. "I had time to prepare for this, but there's only so prepared you can be."

Dane nods, "I won't pretend to understand what you're going through, just know I'm here if you need anything." He pauses, clearing his throat, adding a hurried, "We all are."

"Thank you," I smile, stepping past him. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Ayumi."

I can feel his gaze burning into my back as I walk, not turning around. It's unsettling the way his eyes linger, the way his face betrays that there is more that he wants to say to me. Words that would only complicate my life more. I pick up my pace, sighing with relief as I turn the corner. The last thing I want is boy trouble. I'm only just sorting things out with Lee, and even if I wasn't, I think it would be a slap in the face to Codo if I started dating his brother. Talk about awkward.

Mushi is sweeping the front of the Tea House when I approach, humming a solemn tune, despite the ever present smile on his face.

"My nephew is on the roof," he says by way of greeting, giving me a quick wink.

"Thanks, Mushi," I grin, walking around to the back of the building. I scale the ladder easily, catching sight of Lee sitting behind the chimney.

A small smile spreads across his face as without a word he lifts up his arm, waiting for me to snuggle in beside him. I do so without hesitation, realizing then that we've slipped effortlessly back into our previous ways, without much discussion. "Hi," he whispers into my hair.

"Hi," I say back, closing my eyes, smiling at how good it feels to just be held by him. "I missed you." I'm slowly learning to be honest with my feelings.

"You just saw me yesterday," he teases me, a smile evident in his voice.

"Your point being?" I glare up at him, hiding my smile.

He plops a kiss on top of my head. "I like when you miss me." There is a slight pause, as he clears his throat, shifting away from me. "I uh, I have something for you."

I sit up, looking at him expectantly. He looks so nervous. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"But it's yours." He's holding the pearl dagger in the palm of his hands, his expression serious. "It belongs to you."

Images flash before my eyes as I stare down at the dagger. Naomi's face, young and then the adult from my dream, my father, my grandfather. He places it in my palm and I tighten my grip around it, feeling as though a piece of me has just been returned to me. It is solidifying, holding a piece of Ogawa history in my hands. It's even more meaningful now that my father is gone.

"We need to talk," I say then, not releasing my grip on the dagger. I don't really want to, but we need to sort our plans for the future, I am going crazy.

Lee blinks, frowning, "That has to be my least favourite thing to hear you say. At least wait until after supper, we're together, and I want to enjoy my meal."

I agree, although slightly frustrated that he immediately assumes that our talk is going to be a negative experience. I let him lead me off to a restaurant of his choice, my dagger safely stowed in my pocket, I will never let it out of my sight again. The grip of his elbow on my hand as we walk is distinctly possessive, as if to say to the people we pass that I am off limits, that I am his. I like it, but as much as I don't want to admit it, Mia might actually have a point. My father had plans for me, he wanted me to be safe in the upper ring, but I feel like I'm safest with Lee. He's saved my life how many times already now.

"You're unusually quiet," he says then, snapping me back to reality.

I smile apologetically, "You're right, let's just eat and worry about everything else later. I want to enjoy this time with you."

"Agreed." He returns my smile, holding open the door of the restaurant for me, a simple noodle house, his choice and yet somehow exactly what I was in the mood for.

"You know me too well," I laugh, leading the way into the quiet restaurant.

"I'd like to know you even better," he whispers in my ear, causing my cheeks to flush just as a waiter arrives to guide us to our table. At the sight of my face, Lee's own turns pink, obviously having meant knowing me in a general sense, not a physical sense.

I smile my thanks as we are seated, hoping the man didn't notice how pink our faces turned. Not that it would be very hard to miss. I'm mortified that I immediately assumed he meant the other way. In a moment of silent communication we agree to not speak about it.

"You know you really are beautiful," he tells me then, his eyes suddenly serious, his gorgeous amber eyes. "And strong, which makes you even more beautiful."

"Why are you telling me this?" I ask, suddenly shy beneath his appreciative gaze.

He smiles simply, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. "It's the truth."

"You have good taste," I wink, wanting to lighten the mood. This kind of serious talk will drag me right back into getting caught up thinking about the future.

Somehow we make it through supper without either of us slipping into something deep and heavy, instead just keeping it simple, laughing lots. It's refreshing, with all the heaviness going on in my life as of late. I wonder then, as we are leaving, both full of noodles, what my father would have thought of Lee, had they had the chance to actually get to know one another. It's a whole dynamic I'm missing out on.

"You ok?" Lee asks, leading me out into the crisp evening air, the sun well on its way down. The first stars have appeared above us, the sky a gradient of blue, purple, red and orange.

"Just thinking about my father," I say honestly, not about to admit my mind had started drifting into thinking about the fact he was not going to get to be a father in law or a grandfather, because I was seeing Lee as my husband and father to my children in that missed scenario. That would be a surefire way to scare him off.

He slides an arm around my shoulder as we walk, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"You know my father told me some pretty shocking things before he died," I blurt out, keeping close to him as we walk. "It kind of threw me for a loop."

"What do you mean?"

"My mother's family, they weren't just fire nation," I pause, taking a steadying breath, suddenly scared that he is going to judge me. "Her brother was Admiral Zhao, and he was the one who killed her."

Lee stiffens beside me. "Admiral Zhao," he repeats woodenly, as if I had spoken a foreign language that he didn't know how to translate.

"Yes, and I have to say that I feel like a bit of a monster, sharing blood with a monster." I'm rambling, suddenly aware of how much that particular piece of information has been bothering me. Of all I have learned, this piece is the toughest to stomach.

"You're not a monster," he tells me after an extended moment, a pained look on his face. He too looks like he's having trouble stomaching the news. "We're not defined by our family's choices, we make our own." He sounds as though he is speaking not just to me, but to himself too.

I sigh, "You don't know what it's like, knowing you're related to _that._ What if I turn out like him? What if that hatred is in my blood, in me?" I shudder, the image I had drawn up when I learned of my mother's death at the hands of my uncle flashed before my mind's eye.

"I have my fair share of monsters in my family," Lee says quietly, staring straight ahead. "You are no different no than you were before you knew Zhao was your uncle, you're Ayumi Ogawa."

I realize then that we've reached the fountain, the little candles dancing over the surface of the water. Just as beautiful as the last time we were here. "You're not going to run off on me like last time, are you?" I ask, eager to change the subject.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promises, sitting and holding his arm out for me to sit with him.

I let him hold me tight for a moment, not wanting to speak and ruin it, but I cannot stay quiet for long. "I want to go find my family," I blurt out. My mind is running everywhere at once.

"What?" He asks, stiffening beside me again.

"My family in the Fire Nation, when everything calms down I want to go find them. I know for sure I still have an Aunt, Kira, I might have cousins too." I explain, voicing the other thing I've been mulling over, unable to decide. "They can't all be monsters like Zhao."

Lee sighs, "I don't know if that would be safe for you to travel alone, even once things are finally at peace."

I turn to stare up at him, "I'd want you with me."

"You see us together then?" He asks suddenly, staring back, the light of the candles reflecting in his amber eyes.

I flinch, "You don't?"

"I only ask that because we still haven't talked about it, we just slipped back into our routine without discussing our plans for the future." He explains tiredly, turning to stare up at the starlit sky.

"Who says we need a plan?" I grumble, leaning my head back against him.

" _You_ say," he reminded me. "I know you're father wanted you to go to the Upper Ring, and I know you're struggling with trying to make a decision about that," he says gently, giving my shoulder a small squeeze. "That _was_ what you wanted to talk to me about earlier, right?"

I let out an exasperated sigh, "Yes, no, I don't know."

"I'm what's getting in the way of you making that decision one way or another, aren't I." There is no animosity in his voice, nor accusation, just a simple statement.

"I like my life here," I tell him honestly, keeping my gaze trained on the night sky. A sudden breeze has me squeezing closer against him. "I like that you've decided to be back in my life, I'm not just going to up and ditch now that you've finally come around."

Lee turns to look at me again, before plopping a small kiss on my forehead. "You don't need to decide tonight. We're together, that's a good start."

"But would you? Would you go with me to find my family one day?" I ask, suddenly wanting him to say yes, to promise to take me there even if it's years down the road.

He hesitates for an extended moment, as if trying to decide how to answer me. "Why don't we cross that bridge when we come to it? Right now, nobody is going anywhere near the Fire Nation."

"How are you suddenly so calm about everything now?" I demand, remembering all of his stressful and heated moments, all his angst and outbursts.

"I've been spending too much time with Mushi," he jokes lightly. After a moment he sighs, "You know I don't actually know, I think it's you. Being with you brings me peace, I was just too worried about the danger I was putting you in to see that before."

"You never put me in any danger," I state, "We've been over this."

"Ayumi," he says, shaking his head. "You know, you have to be the most stubborn person I have ever met."

I smile a small smile, nodding in agreement. "You _are_ talking about an Ogawa, after all."

"What have I gotten myself into?" He says with a mock exasperated sigh, shaking his head.

"Hey now," I warn, "You should be thankful."

He kisses me then, long and slow. His lips are impossibly warm and soft, and I can feel myself melting. As he pulls back, he whispers, "Very, very thankful."

"You know, you're a very good kisser." I tell him, a little breathless.

He smiles, his mouth hovering just above mine. He kisses me again, "Is that so?"

"That's so," I confirm, not wanting him to stop. "No, wait, I can't tell."

He responds correctly, tightening his arm around me and bringing his other hand up to cup my chin, kissing me again. And then again. "How about now?"

Heartbeat pounding, I shake my head ever so slightly, "Better try again, I'm having a hard time telling."

I'm aware then, as he kisses me yet again, of the tension between us, that I've been purposefully ignoring. We _are_ after all just sorting the situation out, so I've been trying to refrain from diving all in. I may have a lame arm, but I am not blind, I'm well aware of the extremely handsome, well-muscled guy who is currently kissing me over and over.

No doubt just as aware of the tension as I am, he pulls back and stands, offering me his hand. "We should start heading back."

I nod and follow, despite how sudden, it's probably a smart idea. I don't know if it's my stress, or my grief, or everything compounding together, but right now I don't trust myself. I'm assuming I should actually make some decisions before things get _that_ serious.

Neither of us say anything until we reach the end of my street, stopping there so we don't have to say goodnight outside the house, where curious eyes and ears could witness. Unable to really stop myself, I kiss him, so earnestly that I know I am speaking everything I want into that kiss. He doesn't pull away, his hands automatically moving to cup either side of my face. He kisses me back, echoing my aggression, hands not staying still for long. I want all of him, and am feeling like I could actually take him right there in the middle of the street when a door slams, startling us apart.

A moment later Dane emerges from the shadows, stopping short at the sight of us. He hasn't witnessed anything scandalous, thankfully, simply the two of us standing a bit apart, both in awkward silence. _I_ can feel the tension in the air so thick I couldn't have cut it with a sword, and I know Lee can feel it too, I just hope that Dane is oblivious.

"Ayumi? Lee? What are you guys doing out here?" He asks, approaching cautiously. His eyes flit back and forth between us.

"Walking," I say easily. "What are you doing?"

"Walking," he echoes, smiling slightly. "I can't sleep." As if noticing then that he has infringed on an awkward moment he excuses himself. "Have a good night, you two!"

We both say good night, watching as he disappears into the shadows. Once he's out of sight, Lee sighs heavily, pulling me back into him. "I love you," he tells me simply, kissing me one more time. "I should have said that a long time ago."

"I love you too," I tell him, resting my head on his chest. My heart is full hearing him say it, three little words that I've been longing to hear. Now here they are out in the open. I can hear his heart beating, as fast as I can feel my own. They're beating in synch, I realize.

With that he sends me off with one last kiss, making me promise to come visit him in the morning. Cami is already asleep when I climb into bed, for once letting go of everything that I'm stressing over.

When I walk into the Tea House the next morning, I'm greeted by the sight of a rare, genuine smile that lights up Lee's whole face. For once I don't see any hint of bitterness or pain, or angst or fear, and it is contagious.

His face grows even brighter at the sight of me, if that is at all possible. "Ayumi!" He strides across the wooden floor and kisses me, not even caring that there are customers as well as his uncle around us, watching in amusement.

"What's happened?" I demand, a little breathless from his surprise kiss. I want him to kiss me again. I notice then that Mushi's face is also glowing, a familiar grin on his kind face.

"The answer to everything!" Lee exclaims, picking me up and spinning me around once, dropping me lightly on my feet.

"Are you going to tell me?" I grumble, suddenly feeling impatient and very much out of the loop.

Lee shares a grin with Mushi, "We've been offered our own tea shop in the Upper Ring!"

My jaw falls open, and for a moment all I can do is stare in stunned silence. "You're joking."

"I'm serious! Mushi gets full creative freedom, and it comes with a new apartment!" Lee explains hurriedly. "Now you can go to the Upper Ring like your father wanted, and I'll be there too!"

I glance at Mushi, whose smile confirms that what I'm hearing is true. It takes a moment, but I begin to feel relief, the guilt I've been refusing to acknowledge over not honouring my father's wishes for me is melting away. "That's amazing," I tell him, smiling in spite of myself.

"It's perfect," Lee tells me, his eyes earnestly searching mine. "Is that an ok plan for our future?"

I nod, still stunned at how everything is working out. Now I don't have to choose between my father's wishes and Lee, they are one and the same. I'll miss my adoptive family, but with Hela's baby on the way, maybe this will be the space they need. I can still visit, and they can visit me. It's not goodbye forever.

Mushi appears at my side then, holding a steaming cup of tea. "Here, a celebratory cup of your favourite tea."

I accept it, taking a careful sip. I am struck by the oddest sensation then, a dull feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach that does nothing to dissuade the feeling that this is the right decision. I know in my heart I am supposed to go to the Upper Ring, but the feeling of dread is nagging at me that my struggles are not over, that they will only continue in the Upper Ring, or even get worse. Looking at the excitement on Lee's face, all I can think is how could this possibly be a bad thing? What could possibly go wrong?


	14. The Upper Ring

14

The Upper Ring

Since my father passed I haven't dreamed. No mysterious warnings, no visits from ghosts, no fire. I'm torn between relief that it's over, and dread that the inevitable has just begun.

Codo and Dane helped me move; not that I had a lot of belongings, but even managing a few things is a task when you only have one functional arm, and Lee wouldn't be coming until the day after with Mushi.

The difference was noticeable from the moment we passed into Upper Ring, the dust and ramshackle houses I'd grown so used to seeing were gone, replaced by pristine fortresses. Codo and Dane couldn't even technically be here without invitation from me. They declined staying the night, it wasn't as though my estate had any shortage of rooms, I could tell they just weren't comfortable. I don't blame them, I don't even feel comfortable. So it was they took their leave just after ensuring I was settled in.

I'm trying to feel excited but right now I just feel alone. This sprawling estate is meant for a family, not the orphan Ogawa daughter. I felt panicked the moment I saw it, taking in its yellow tiled roof and wide windows, feeling as though I was about to be put on display for all of Ba Sing Se's affluent society.

Mia had explained that this property had been in my family for ages, originally built for the first of my ancestors to hold the title of General. Each General had preferred spending the majority of their time on our private estate in the country, my home, currently in ruins from my bloodthirsty uncle. And so the second Ogawa estate had remained empty for the majority of its life.

Mia and Kanto had chosen to live in the Middle Ring; my father had established them before he passed, insisting on the Upper Ring for them as well but caving when Mia explained her reluctance. She wasn't an Ogawa, and her son wasn't his heir. I was, despite Kanto being older, and he'd shown no animosity about that fact. We'd all parted on good terms, despite mine and Mia's tense relationship, with me promising to send written invitation as soon as I had settled in.

Settling in, I have a feeling that might take a bit of time. I roll over for what has to be the millionth time tonight. Over and over, trying to will my new bed to be comfortable. It's too soft, too fancy, I'm used to my little bed in Cami's room, not this plush and silky thing meant for the man and woman of the house. I took the master bedroom, figuring that if I'm to be living here why not make the best of it, I _am_ technically the woman of the house.

The majority of my clothes were already here, having been sent ahead when my father initially sent me away, expecting me to follow my belongings. I had found them just inside the front door, still in their traveling cases. Dane and Codo had moved them all into my chosen quarters, both looking a little stunned to witness the life I'd been born into first hand. I tried very hard not to feel guilty, but not that I'm alone again I can't help it. It's keeping me awake.

I've already decided to keep sending Hela money, with Nori gone and the baby coming any time now, it's the least I can do. They'll all be receiving invitations to visit too, and they can stay as long as they'd like. I'd even offered for them all to come live with me, something Hela had declined with a gentle smile.

Nori was coming back, she explained, and this was their life. I am still feeling the drive to protect them all that had rushed over me after her refusal. Is this what it is like to be a mother? Not that they're my kids… At least I will have Lee to look after.

In the dark, I can barely make out a small, thin object laying on my bedside drawers. The dagger, my dagger. I've kept it on me ever since Lee returned it. I don't think I will ever go another without it on my person. Lee giving it to me meant the world. He is finally happy, looking forward to the future. I remember then, his fight with the wild young man in the Tea House and how he saved me from the fire. We've been through a lot in a short time.

I smile onto my pillow, his handsome yet scarred face flashing across my mind. In the image he's smiling at me, as I imagine the same joy that came from their fresh start. Mushi had told me later that his nephew was letting go of his past, and that he was excited I had heeded his words and not given up on him, no matter how stubborn he was. Now we had a chance to build a life together. With that hopeful thought, I drift into a dreamless sleep.

"Specially delivery for one Miss Ogawa!" A voice calls the next afternoon, deep and muffled from behind my front door. Frowning slightly I unlock it, I haven't ordered anything.

As the door swings inward, Lee pushes through, gathering me into his arms and kissing me so fast that I don't even have time to blink. After a heavenly moment, he pulls back, a mischievous smile coming over his face, arms still wrapped around me. "I need to have a chat with the guy who's sending you such scandalous deliveries, he's moving on my girl."

"Yes I wonder who my secret admirer might be," I tease, reaching up to kiss him again. Suddenly my big empty house doesn't feel so empty.

He looks past me for the first time, his eyes widening. "So this is the Ogawa estate?"

"One of them," I sigh, resting my head on his chest. "It feels a lot more like home now that you're here."

"So do I get the official tour?" I can hear a smile in his voice as he adds, "Which room is mine?"

I chuckle, taking him by the hand and leading him through the house. I can't help but feel as though he's a whole new person, having let go of his past, excited for his future, _our_ future. It's a side of him I haven't had the opportunity to see much of, the smiling and joking, no brooding. He nods approvingly as we tour a sitting area and a dining area, a kitchen, bedrooms, the yard and garden. The garden is most reminiscent of home, lush green trees and brightly coloured flowers. Finally I stop outside the master bedroom, feeling the sudden urge to laugh.

"What is it?" He asks, his amber eyes trained on my face. "Is this the Ogawa family dungeon?"

"This is my room," I tell him, quickly opening the door. I'm not really sure why I hesitated.

He lets out a low whistle, stepping through the wide doorway. The sun is streaming in through the windows that cover the far wall, lighting up the white blankets and pillows, and the golden decorations on the white walls. There is a river made out of twisted gold, and a large tree, both glowing in the sunlight. Lee crosses over to my neatly made bed, collapsing down on top of it. "Ohh. Tell Mushi I'll be laying here for the rest of my life, this bed is too comfy to leave."

I remain leaning against the doorframe, smiling at him. "Should I take your shift?"

"We're not officially open yet," he pops his head up to look at me. "I have time."

I'm not sure why I haven't moved, I guess I'm nervous. We've entered a whole new dynamic here, my own place, no adult supervision really… I swallow, feeling my cheeks growing warm. "I want to see the Tea House," I say hurriedly, turning back the way we came, hearing a loud groan from my bed in protest.

His enthusiasm grows as we walk arm in arm towards the Tea House, his indignation at having to leave my bed melting away. I know that both of us are a little underdressed for the Upper Ring but I don't care. I've grown so used to dressing for comfort and not to impress. In all honesty I'd prefer to leave my fancy robes in my closet for as long as possible.

I feel almost invisible, no one giving us a second glance, until a guard appears in front of us, his eyes narrowing. "What are you two doing up here?" He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

Wordlessly I hand him the passport I had been keeping in my pocket since my arrival yesterday, fuming. It brings me some satisfaction to watch as his face turns red as he reads it over.

"My apologies, Miss Ogawa, I didn't know." He swallows hard, quickly returning my passport and stepping out of our way. He's having difficulty keeping his gaze from my eyes, no doubt the gold and green is foreign to him.

"That's alright," I sigh, pocketing the document, suddenly frustrated with myself. Being angry like that isn't like me, it was an honest mistake. _Resulting from an assumption based on our clothes,_ I think, shaking my head.

Lee waits until we are a few paces away before giving my arm a squeeze. "You ok?"

I nod, "Sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"Come on, _Miss Ogawa_ ," he smiles then, "Let's go see the Tea House."

It's huge, much more impressive than the Pao Family Tea House. The walls are green and the roof yellow, in typical Upper Ring fashion, but what jumps out at me is the fountain outside, splashing clear blue water into a small pool. There are tables set up on both sides of the room, split by a long jade green rug with golden dragons on it.

Mushi is straightening chairs when we enter, smiling up at us. "So, Ayumi, what do you think?"

"It's beautiful!" I tell him, moving in for a hug. I step back then, turning to survey the room one more time. I notice a sign right above the doorway, a framed piece of calligraphy that says, "It is better to go for three days without food than one day without tea." I smile, immediately able to envision Mushi saying the words. "I'm so happy for you two."

"Thank you, my girl," He tells me, a look of pride on his face. "Now, can I interest you in a cup of jasmine tea?"

I nod eagerly and he disappears behind a set of green drapes, leaving Lee and I alone. "It's perfect," I tell him, slipping my good arm around his waist.

"It's ours," he agrees, looping his arm around my shoulders in response. "Mushi is finally getting the recognition he deserves for his tea."

As if on cue, Mushi returns, a tray with a small pot and three steaming cups of tea in hand. "Here, let us sit."

"To the Jasmine Dragon," I smile, holding up my cup. They echo my toast, gently clinking their cups against mine.

"To Ayumi Ogawa for helping my nephew find peace, and happiness," Mushi says with a smile, looking proudly between us. Lee smiles, looking a little embarrassed, but he toasts us all the same. Mushi grins then, "So, when is the wedding?"

I burst out laughing, while Lee's face instantly turns red. "You'll be the first to know," I promise him, not embarrassed in the slightest. I know that he's joking. I also know that he probably wouldn't be opposed to the idea, in a few years time.

"Anyways," Lee says quickly, looking to change the subject. "Are we ready for tomorrow, Uncle?"

I smile as Mushi explains the plan for the morning, content to sit quietly and listen to them talk. It's a perfect moment, and I pause to ingrain it in my memory, the three of us sitting in the empty Tea House, before any customers arrive, enjoying each other's company. I don't know what the future will hold, but here and now I don't care. I'm at peace.

"I don't like leaving you all alone here," Lee tells me, leaning back against my doorframe. He frowns past me into the empty estate. He had walked me home, the sun having already completed its descent below the horizon, the dark of night stretching out behind him. We had eaten supper at the Jasmine Dragon with Mushi, and spent the evening visiting over more cups of tea. We eventually decided on a walk around the Upper Ring, ending with him dropping me off at home, lingering. He had already kissed me goodnight. ...more than a few times.

"Then don't," I say gently, chewing nervously on my lip, which is already a little swollen. I can't help but feel flustered, and not just from all the kissing. All I know is I don't want him to leave. "Stay with me."

He stares at me for a moment, his eyes searching my face. After a pause, perhaps deciding that I'm being serious, he steps inside, closing the door behind him. Neither of us speaks, suddenly not really knowing what to say. I don't know where this sudden awkwardness is coming from, we've spent the night together before, albeit when I'd accidentally fallen asleep, but still… Ok, I do know where the awkwardness is coming from. We're crossing into uncharted territory.

"Do you need to tell Mushi you won't be in tonight?" I ask quietly, unmoving.

He manages a small smile, "I'm pretty sure he won't be wondering where I am." He clears his throat, his cheeks turning pink. "Do you want something to eat? Or tea before bed?" The last word of his sentence comes out a little strangled. "We cou-"

I cut him off, crossing the distance between us and kissing him hard. He kisses me back, walking me backwards until I'm pressed up against the wall, his hands cupping my shoulders. After a few heated moments, he pulls back, his eyes wide, searching mine. "Are you sure?" He asks me, not really needing to specify about _what_ exactly.

I nod, feeling his heart beating fast beneath my hand. It's resting against his skin, under his shirt at this point, goosebumps forming underneath my fingertips. "Are _you_?"

When he nods, I take his hand, and lead him down the hall and into my room. As Lee lowers my curtains, closing us off from the rest of the world, I light the candle on my bedside with flint. I remember my herbs then, courtesy of Hela. I had put them in the drawer chest next to my bed when I first arrived, in the event I would need them. I guess I _wanted_ to need them, knowing that it was really only a matter of time, the tension between us has been thick and obvious for a while now. We're young but we're not children. I'm suddenly nervous then, I've never been intimate with anyone before, has he? I don't want to be the inexperienced one.

"Are you sure?" He asks again, having seen my expression. He comes to stand in front of me, his expression full of concern. "I don't want you to regret anything, or make you feel like you have to."

I smile gently, shaking my head. "I'm just… this is new, is all." My voice, although I know I'm speaking softly, seems to echo throughout the room around me. "But I'm ready," I add quickly.

"We'll figure it out together," he whispers, kissing me again, answering my earlier question.

For the first time in all the time I've known him, I can't help but feel conscious of my arm, strapped uselessly in my sling. He's nothing but gently, easing me out of it, pulling it forward and kissing my hand and my fingers. I know that I can't actually feel it, but my mind tricks me into thinking I can.

I help him ease his shirt over his head as best I can, staring at him in the dim light of the candles. His torso is lean and defined, his muscles solid. He frowns uncertainly under my gaze, "What?"

I answer him by kissing him, my hand sliding around and digging into his lower back, pulling him against me. I'm done talking.

We figure it out together. It's awkward really, and slightly painful, but it's also beautiful. We're connected, with nothing in between us. All of that built up tension, just melting away. I find myself yearning for the use of my other arm, laying useless beside me, wishing I could feel him, be connected with _all_ of me. Out of the corner of my eye I notice the candle flicker, the flame burning brighter for a moment so brief I know I must have imagined it.

Later, when we're laying tangled beneath my blankets, his head on my chest, I remember my herbs.

"What is that?" He asks, his voice soft as I sit up.

I lean down and kiss his scar gently, "Precautions," I explain, quickly eating the surprisingly bitter herbs. I catch sight of our clothes then, strewn piece by piece across the floor, and I can't help but smile.

"What?" He asks sleepily.

I blow out the candle then, before laying back down and snuggling up beside him. "I love you."

He's already asleep, and doesn't answer, but I don't mind. I know what his answer would've been had he not already drifted off to sleep.

"Good night," I whisper, thankful not to be alone.


	15. Chapter 15

15

Changes

The first light of dawn is just flickering through my curtains when Lee sighs contentedly, his breath hot against my ear. His arms, loosely wrapped around me all night, tighten, drawing me closer.

"Good morning," I whisper, smiling as he gently kisses the back of my neck in response.

"I think," he begins after a moment, his voice low despite it just being the two of us. "That it's time for me to tell Mushi I'm moving in with you."

I can't help but chuckle at this as I roll over to meet his amber eyes. And his scar. I lean forward and kiss it gently, before pulling back and grinning at him. "He might have already come to that conclusion himself, being that you've spent the last month here."

He kisses me then, before laying back and closing his eyes. "I'm not ready to leave just yet."

"Cami's coming to visit today," I remind him, feeling a rush of excitement. I've missed my honorary sister.

Lee raises an eyebrow, one golden eye peeking open to stare at me. "Is that a hint for me to take my leave?"

"Maybe just while she's here," I hedge. "I don't want to deal with her endless questions if she finds out we've been basically living together."

"What, you don't want to tell her all the juicy details?" Lee teases.

I can feel my face growing pink. "Not overly."

"You're cute when you're embarrassed."

"Well do _you_ want me to tell Cami all the juicy details?" I counter, hating how much I'm blushing.

"Not overly."

I stick my tongue out at him, "That's what I thought."

"I have to work," he sighs, his arm flopping over his eyes. "But this bed, I can't move."

"What, just the bed?" I frown in mock offense. "What about the company?"

"I'm just here for the comfy bed." There is a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he glances over at me. It's amazing how far he's come from the sheltered and shaken young man that I first met. It seems like ages ago.

"You're going to miss me," I inform him, rolling out of bed and to my feet, my arm hanging uselessly at my side. The motion makes me dizzy, but a moment later the sensation is gone.

Lee has taken to helping me into my sling in the mornings. He keeps saying that it isn't because he doesn't think I'm capable, but because he just wants to help me. In all honesty I like that he wants to take care of me, and I _really_ like that he keeps the nightmares at bay. For the most part.

This morning is no different. He is gentle and methodical, as if he's afraid he's going to injure me, even though I keep telling him I am _not_ as fragile as he would make me seem. I'm not going to break. I am not porcelain. I'm not invincible either, the weight of my arm against my chest makes me wince.

"How long is Cami here for?" Lee asks, giving my arm a pat as he finishes up my sling.

"A week." I grin, I can't help it, I am _so_ excited to see her. We're going to explore everything the Upper Ring has to offer.

Lee groans, "A week without your ridiculously comfortable bed."

"Serves you right for only being here for the bed," I stick my tongue out at him.

"I might sneak in one of these nights." There's a mischievous glint in his eyes, and I find I like that much better than the pain I used to see written there. "Now I need to go before I'm late."

I'm left alone then. I used to think I would feel so lonely being in a big house like this all by myself, but I'm not. Lee has probably had something to do with it, but even now, in the time he spends at work, I don't mind being alone. I think of my parents often, knowing they're watching over me, and wondering if they're proud of me. I know that if they were here they would likely have something to say about Lee basically living with me.

I do my best not think about their mysterious words, or my dreams. I'm here in the present and I need to live that way.

Growing up is weird. Yesterday I had to restock up on my herbs, the ones Hela gave me really weren't meant to be a long-term supply. It was a little awkward, being that the shopkeeper knew exactly what I needed them for. Embarrassing, yes, but necessary. A baby wouldn't exactly be the best thing to happen right now.

I cross over to my nightstand to make sure they're where I left them, I don't need Cami finding them laying out somewhere when I give her the tour later.

I can barely contain my excitement when Cami's train pulls into the station. I sent her a letter of invitation which should in theory be enough to get her to my house without issue, but I don't want to risk it. Not after I was accused of being here when I wasn't supposed to be on my first day.

Her face breaks into a grin when she sees me, rushing over and tackling me with a hug. "Ayumi! I thought today would never get here!"

"Me neither!" I return her hug as best as I can with one arm. "Come on, let's go back to my place. I want to hear everything!"

Cami does nothing to hide her awe as we walk, and I'm glad. It's nice to see my new home through a fresh set of eyes. I've been seeing the same pristine homes every day and it's gotten a little boring.

"Wow…" Cami shakes her head, staring at the different houses. "Who do I need to marry to get me a house like this?"

I burst out laughing, I've missed her blunt humour. "I'll keep an eye out for any young, eligible bachelors. I'd say Kanto, but he's living in the Middle Ring."

"How _is_ Kanto?" She turns to meet my multi-coloured eyes. "And how are you?"

I shrug, "Kanto checks in every now and again, he seems to be doing well. As for me, I'm a lot better than I should be doing. I feel kind of guilty about it."

"What do you mean?" Cami frowns, absentmindedly spinning a few small rocks above her open palm.

"My father just died, and I'm moving on in my life as if nothing's changed." I neglect to mention the fact that Lee has basically moved in.

Cami smiles sympathetically. "Everyone grieves differently. I don't think your dad would want you to be wallowing in sorrow forever. He'd want you to be happy." A wicked smile comes over her face, "How's Lee by the way?"

Willing my cheeks not to blush, I attempt to sound nonchalant. "He's good, Mushi's good too."

"Ok let me rephrase that, how are _you_ and Lee? Together." Cami raises her eyebrows. "You are still together?"

I nod, "We're still together and we're doing really good." I'm trying to avoid being grilled, but the expression on her face is telling me I won't be that lucky.

"Details, Ayumi. Details!" Cami throws her hands up in the air in mock exasperation. "I need the latest hot gossip. Things are so boring at home."

"Ok fine, things are getting pretty serious…" I clear my throat, feeling my cheeks burn.

Cami stares at me expectantly. "Serious as in…?"

"He's all but moved into my place."

Cami lets out a triumphant crow, startling some birds perched in a nearby tree. "When can I expect my invitation to your wedding?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Obviously you'll be my maid of honour."

Cami grins, nudging my shoulder. "I can't wait to see a bunch of little Ayumis and Lees running around. You guys will make cute kids."

"Speaking of kids," I quickly change the subject, feeling a little embarrassed at her talk. "How's Hela? Any baby yet?"

Cami shakes her head with a sigh, "Not yet, baby sister is huge and stubborn. Mom doesn't think she's interested in coming out anytime soon."

"You still think it's a girl?" I smile, hoping she's right.

"Uh yeah, she _needs_ to be a girl. I don't think I could mentally handle having another brother. Especially now that you're gone!"

"Well you're welcome here anytime." I gesture up at my house, leading her inside.

I take her on the super quick version of the tour, pointing out where she'll be staying.

Cami smirks as we pass my room. "Will your lover be joining us?"

I shake my head, "He's letting just us girls have a visit."

"Hey, why don't we go to their new shop for tea after lunch?" Cami stares at me expectantly. "I want to see their new place, and say hello."

"Sounds good to me," I agree. "Now come on, you're probably starving."

After a huge noodle bowl lunch, we make our way to the Jasmine Dragon. We find Mushi first, serving two posh looking ladies steaming cups of what smells like jasmine. My favourite. He smiles warmly at the sight of us, gesturing for us to take a seat.

I forgot that Cami hasn't seen the Tea House yet. It truly is stunning, and Cami tells Mushi as much when he comes to greet us.

"You're too kind." He smiles, before looking at me. "My nephew is in the back, preparing the tea."

I ignore Cami's pointed smile. "I'll see him when I see him, thanks, Mushi."

"Yes it is not as if you have had a shortage in seeing him. It is I who has not seen much of him as of late!" There a teasing glint in his brown eyes.

"Yeah…" I can't help but blush, and the smile Cami is fighting isn't helping. "Sorry, Mushi."

He shakes his head, chuckling. "I am only joking, I am not offended by any means. It is nice to have some time to myself now and again."

"Well in that case, I better just move in with Ayumi." Lee announces, appearing behind Mushi, tea tray in hand.

"By that sounds of it you already have!" Cami blurts out, winking at him.

Lee shoots me a look, no doubt wondering why I've given him up. "Hey now, Cami, I'm letting you two have your visit."

Cami raises an eyebrow, "Not planning on sneaking in, are we?"

"No promises." Lee smirks.

Again I'm struck by how wonderful it is to see him happy and in good spirits. To see him joke around with my friend, instead of being so guarded. Not that I didn't love him before. I smile gently at him as he moves to give us our tea. Jasmine, of course.

"Yes, promises. You will be staying with me while Cami is here," Mushi says sternly. "Let the girls have their visit."

"I'm not afraid to use my earthbending against intruders!" Cami chuckles, obviously joking.

Lee holds up his hands in surrender. "I wouldn't dare."

"Did you tell Ayumi your news?" Mushi asks then.

"What news?" I immediately ask, turning to stare at Lee expectantly. "Did you forget to tell me something?"

"Maybe…" He looks sheepish. "I found out yesterday."

"Well what is it?" I demand. A quick glance at Cami tells me she is equally as curious.

Lee glances at Mushi, who nods encouragingly. "We've been invited to serve tea at the palace, for the king."

"Whaaat…" Cami's jaw falls open.

I don't know what to say. I'm happy for them, obviously, but I'm also angry that he didn't tell me immediately. A tiny part of me is saying that this isn't good news, that something is wrong. I bury that negative voice, forcing myself to smile. "That's amazing! Congratulations, you two."

"When does that happen?" Cami asks, looking to Mushi, as if in tune to the silent conversation Lee and I are having.

"At the end of the week." Says Mushi.

Lee and I _are_ having a silent conversation. Or at least, I am. _Why didn't you tell me?_ I ask him mentally, knowing he can't really hear my thoughts. I'm also furious with myself that I would be even remotely angry, it's not about me. I don't know why I'm being irrational.

I go to take a sip of my tea, listening to Cami and Mushi discuss the palace, and almost spit it across the table. It tastes horrible, enough to make me feel sick to my stomach.

"Are you alright, Ayumi?" Lee asks immediately, his face full of concern. "Is there something wrong with the tea?"

I shake my head, "No, and I'm fine. I just don't have the appetite for this right now. Something I ate at lunch is obviously not agreeing with me."

Cami is studying me with narrowed eyes, but Mushi and Lee only look concerned. "I'll drink it," she offers, obviously wanting to avoid me being sick.

"Are you certain you are alright?" Mushi asks, an apologetic look on his face, as if he thinks his tea is the cause.

I nod, "Sorry, Mushi, I'm sure the tea is amazing as always, I'm just not feeling myself."

"We should get you home so you can take it easy," Cami suggests. "Make sure you're in tiptop shape for all the exploring we're doing tomorrow."

Lee nods in agreement, plopping a kiss on top of my head. "Feel better."

I let Cami lead the way out of the Tea House, part of me wondering why she's rushing so much. It's not like I've never felt sick to my stomach before. "Where's the fire?" I joke, noting how fast she's moving to get me home.

"You're sick, you need rest." There's something else bothering her, worrying her, but she's doing her best to keep it from me.

Neither of us say anything until we get back to the Ogawa Estate, Cami lost in thought, and me too nervous to interrupt her. She looks almost angry, although I'm sure that's not the case.

"Is everything ok?" I ask hesitantly, having closed the door behind me.

Cami stares at me for an extended moment, obviously trying to choose her next words carefully. "Have you experienced any other symptoms?" She finally asks, studying me hard.

"Uh… I haven't been paying attention."

"Ok, this is probably _not_ my place to ask, but I'm your friend and I care." Cami exhales sharply, biting on her lip. "Have you been being smart?"

"Smart…?" I know exactly what she's asking me. I don't know why I'm playing dumb. I don't want to have this conversation, and I don't want to even consider the possibility of what I know she is hinting at.

"Herbs, Ayumi. Have you been being smart with your herbs?" Cami blurts out in a rush, concern written on her face.

I nod, "Of course I have."

She lets out a small sigh of relief. "Ok, good. Because you normally love jasmine tea."

"I know, that was weird." I try to appear nonchalant and calm, but inside I'm panicking. She's voicing my greatest fear, the one that I've been trying to convince myself can't and won't happen.

"And you're sure you haven't had any other symptoms?" Cami presses, probably out of a mixture of both curiosity and concern.

"I…" I pause, staring down at the floor, suddenly too tired to lie. I feel tears well up in my eyes out of nowhere.

Cami gasps, "Oh no, Ayumi, don't cry. Here, let's go sit down." She leads a sniffling me down the hall to the sitting room, settling me in one of the chairs. All the while she's looking at me like I might spontaneously combust. "There, you're ok."

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying," I sniff, wiping at my eyes in frustration. "This is so stupid."

Cami stares at me for an extended moment, her eyes wide. "Have you considered that you might be pregnant?"

"Of course I've considered it!" I snap, startling her. "I considered it and reconsidered it, and worried myself sick. I then I made myself forget about it, because I can't be. That just can't happen."

There's a moment of stunned silence as Cami just stares. "Ayumi, it wouldn't be the end of the world. You wouldn't be alone. Lee would be a great father, you know that. And Mushi would help, and we'd obviously be there for you. Mia and Kanto too! You wouldn't be alone."

She looks so supportive, so hopeful, that I immediately tear up again. "How are you so nice? I just bit your head off and you're being nothing but supportive."

"What are friends for?" Cami smiles. "You've got that glow, you know."

"I do not, we don't even know if I am." Truth be told, I'm lying to myself. I know. I've known for a week. Symptoms I can ignore, and I have, but the presence is what I can't ignore. The sensation that I am not alone. It's hard to explain.

"When are you going to tell Lee?" Is all she says, my protests falling on deaf ears.

I groan, laying my head back against my chair. "I don't know… Never? When I have a baby in my arms?"

"Are you scared he won't be happy?" Cami asks gently.

I turn to stare out the window for a moment, marveling at where I am and how I got here. A lot has happened since I came on the train to Ba Sing Se. "Yes, I guess I am. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No, absolutely not. You're scared, I think that's part and parcel with what you're going through." She smiles, attempting to reassure me. "You're going to be a great mother."

"I need some lessons from your mother," I joke, wiping away the last of my tears. "She's a legend."

Cami snorts, "Seriously, anyone who can manage my brothers… I don't know how she did it."

"Cami, can you keep this between us? I promise I'll tell Lee… I just need to work up the nerve."

"Of course."

I'm immediately filled with relief, and thankful that I've found such a good friend.

We spend the rest of the day catching up, talking about anything and anything, sitting up long after the sun has dipped below the horizon.

My bed feels empty when we finally say goodnight, Cami staying down the hall in one of the guest bedrooms. I guess I've grown used to having him here. Sleep finds me soon enough, though, taking me back to a familiar darkness.

 _I can hear people speaking, a male voice and a female voice, too distant to understand their words. I step forward cautiously, my feet soundless against the smooth surface beneath me. I can't see what I'm walking on. There's a dim light ahead, a small figure and a larger figure that I can't make out stand in the gloom._

" _Leave me be!" The male voice yells, while the smaller figure strikes out against the larger. It's a man, I realize. "Just leave me be."_

" _Join me." The female voice purrs, the larger figure snaking around the man._

 _My jaw drops as I approach. It's a dragon. A great blue dragon is circling him, trying to convince him to join it._

" _Never." I can see the man more clearly now, and my chest tightens. It's Lee. "Now go!" He yells at the dragon._

" _If you won't join me…" The dragon stretches upwards. A moment later it dives, devouring him in a single bite. "Then perish."_

" _No!" I scream, running towards the dragon, desperate to do something, anything._

 _The dragon turns to meet me, a cruel smile stretching over its face, if dragons could smile. Without another word, it opens its mouth, lightning arcing from deep within. The bolt moves toward me in slow motion, flashing and popping bright blue. As if compelled I reach forward with my good hand, drawing it towards me. My vision goes white as pure energy charges through my body, an inhuman cry tearing from my lips. I collapse._

 _When I open my eyes I am not in my room, I don't know where I am. An old woman stands above me, but that is not what catches my attention. Multicoloured fire is swirling overtop of me, yet I feel no heat. I feel nothing. I cannot move or speak._

 _Then I am observing myself from a distance, watching as people in red robes bustle about around me. "Hey!" I shout, trying to get someone's attention. Nothing._

" _She is with child," someone says, their voice grave. I can't hear a response._

I open my eyes again and I am back in my room. For a moment I still can't move. Then, piece by piece my body becomes responsive again. I roll over on my side, pinning my bad arm beneath me. Of course my nightmares would come back the first night Lee isn't here.

I've given up trying to understand what my dreams mean. Lee seems safe and in good health, and that is enough for me. What is sticking out to me now is that someone referred to me as with child. Of course I would dream that, I've been stressing about it and trying and failing to ignore it for long enough.

It's not just that we're young and unprepared, but there's also the Ogawa curse my father mentioned. He died from it. Ever since then I've been unsure if I even want children. Now here I am, unable to deny the fact that my body is basically screaming _PREGNANCY!_ At me. What if the baby isn't healthy? I couldn't do that to Lee.

Just as I am trying to find the best way to tell him, I hear my window creak open.

"You have perfect timing," I whisper, catching sight of him in the moonlight. "I was just wishing you were here."

He slips into bed beside me, laying on his side to face me, amber eyes glinting in the moonlight. "I wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I'm better now." Frustrating tears well up in my eyes yet again as he kisses me on the forehead, why are there so many tears! "I have something I need to tell you." I begin, meeting his concerned gaze. "I've been trying to figure out the best way, now that I'm done trying to deny it."

"What is it?" He looks ready to receive the world's worst news, and I certainly hope that's not the case.

"I'm pregnant." There, I said it. How hard are two little words? What's hard is how they're received.

Lee is silent for a moment, staring at me in shock. "Are you sure?"

"The signs don't lie." I'm looking for any sort of hint as to how he's taking this, but his face is unreadable. "But it's more than that, I can feel it."

"Ayumi…" His face breaks into a grin, "That's incredible!"

"You're happy?" I ask, sniffling once again.

He kisses me on the top of my head. "Of course I'm happy! Terrified, yeah, but I've never been happier. I love you."

"I love you too," I blubber, the tears flowing freely now.

"Ayumi?" I hear a soft voice from outside the door. "Are you alright?"

I can't help but burst out laughing. "Come in, Cami."

"I wanted to make sure you were ok, I heard crying," she begins, stopping short at the sight of Lee lying next to me. Pointing her finger at him she announces, "I knew you couldn't stay away!"

"Does she know?" Lee mutters in my ear. When I nod he bolts up right, "I'm going to be a _father_ , Cami."

"I guess that means I'm going to be an auntie!" Cami laughs, shaking her head. "Ok, congratulations you two, but I'm going to go to bed and give you some privacy." With that she excuses herself, leaving just the two of us.

"A _father,_ Ayumi." Lee is beaming, his joy visible even in the dim light of the moon. "There's a baby in there." He pokes gently at my stomach, obviously in awe.

I'm exhausted. He lays on his back, lifting up his arm for me to cuddle in, knowing exactly what I need. "You're going to be a wonderful father," I yawn, already drifting back to sleep.

"You should come with us to the palace," Lee says suddenly, his arm tightening around me. "You can come under the guise of being a server, Cami too if she's still around. I want you with me."

"Ok," I mumble, unable to keep my eyes open any longer.


	16. Chapter 16

16

Thud. "So, do you think you're having a boy or a girl?" Cami asks, currently earthbending rocks across my yard and into my back wall. _Thud._ "I'm personally hoping for a girl, because you know, girl power and all that."

"Do you hope every baby is a girl? " I toss a pebble over at her, watching as she bends it into my wall.

"It's an unfortunate side-effect of being raised with so many men." She sticks out her tongue, sending two rocks in quick succession. _Thud, thud._ "You didn't answer my question."

"I think it's a girl." I place my good hand on my stomach, the baby still too small to show. It's one of those gut instinct things. I would be shocked if I gave birth to a boy.

Cami shot a flurry of rocks at the wall, before throwing her hands in the air. "YES. Hey your baby can be best friends with my future sister!"

I manage a smile, my mind traveling to my dream from the night before. My nightmares are that much more terrifying now that I have another life to protect.

"You ok?" My face must be reflecting my worry.

I nod quickly, "Just thinking."

"So what are you going to name her?" Cami is right back to her excited self.

I can't help but laugh. "I literally just came to terms that this is happening, I haven't had a chance to think!"

"Cami is a nice name," she teased, coming over to sit in the chair next to me. "Or you can combine your names…" She scrunches up her face in thought. "Ayulee… Maylee… Leeyu… Ayumi and Lee are hard to blend."

I shake my head. "None of those are really speaking to me." I watch as Cami as she thinks, obviously searching for the perfect name. After a moment's hesitation I add, "My mother's name was Yuna."

A broad grin stretches across Cami's face. "Yuna. Lee, Ayumi and their daughter Yuna."

 _It has a nice ring to it,_ I think to myself, a sentiment that Cami echoes aloud.

"It has a nice ring to it, it's been decided."

"What's been decided?"

We turn to see Lee step into the yard, dressed his uniform from the Jasmine Dragon. He smiles at me, a smile that reaches to his golden eyes and conveys a joy I have not seen in him before. All because of the little bean growing in my belly.

"The name of your child," Cami informs him, as if the matter has been settled.

An amused look comes over his face as he glances to me for confirmation. "Is that right?"

I shrug noncommittally, "We were just discussing."

"It's Yuna, for Ayumi's mother," Cami declares triumphantly. "It's perfect."

"There's Lee's mother's name to think about too, Cami." I shake my head, smiling apologetically at Lee.

"Which is…?" Cami stares at us expectantly.

"Ursa," Lee blurts out, a sad look coming over his face. "Her name was Ursa."

"Oooo…" Cami looks between us, her eyes widening in panic. "I don't know which one I like better!"

I like Ursa, but I keep that fact to myself. Lee doesn't like talking about his mother, not that I blame him… It's painful.

"Maybe it'll be twins!" Cami blurts out, a gleeful smile on her face. "Then you don't have to choose!"

Identical, panic-stricken looks come over mine and Lee's faces in such perfect timing that Cami bursts out laughing.

"One is enough!" I insist. The thought of _two_ babies right now is mildly terrifying. I feel too young and unprepared to even handle one. What would my parents say if they were here?

"One is perfect," Lee corrects gently. He's staring at me with a newfound love in his eyes. "She'll be perfect."

Cami raises her eyebrows. " _She_? Are you expecting a girl?"

Lee's cheeks grow slightly pink, an effect I find absolutely adorable. "I think it is."

"So does Ayumi, looks like we're having a girl." Cami dances on the spot with excitement.

" _We're_ having a girl?" I laugh. I've missed her and her refreshing and hilarious ways.

Cami nods seriously, "Yes, _we_. I'm Auntie Cami."

"Auntie Cami," I repeat. All at once I am filled with a sense of awe and thankfulness. Without Cami, my baby would be Auntie-less. How lucky am I that she would be brought into my baby's life?

"And thank you for being the one to finally award me that achievement," Cami grins, shaking her head. "I was beginning to lose hope in my brothers."

I can't help but chuckle at that. "Give them time."

"I'm not going to be young and fun forever!" Cami insists. She sends another rock at the wall for emphasis. "And I am not getting any younger!"

"True, but I know for a fact you will always be fun," I grin.

"Are you guys ready?" Lee cuts in. He's obviously had enough brainstorming baby names for the time being.

Cami and I accepted Mushi's invitation to accompany them to visit the king, and we were all planning on heading over together. Lee holds up two matching Jasmine Dragon tunics.

"Am I _ever,_ " Cami beams. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

I still can't quite silence the quiet warning, tugging gently at my chest. But I smile and put on a brave face. "We're ready!"

A carriage arrives few moments later, and we are greeted by a friendly smile and wave from Mushi. "Ready, ladies?"

"Let's do this!" Cami crows, and even I can't help but smile.

I sit silently beside Lee as we ride, leaning against him. I will my heart to be still over and over again. Still it is unsettled.

When we arrive, Cami and I walk a few paces behind the guys. She is enraptured by the beauty of the palace grounds, oohing and ahhing over everything. I am in my own world, half listening to the conversation happening ahead of me.

"Many times I imagined myself here, at the threshold of the palace," Mushi tells his nephew, grinning broadly. "But I always thought I would be here as a conqueror, instead we are the Earth King's personal guests here to serve him tea. Destiny is a funny thing."

"It sure is, uncle." Lee glances back to meet my gaze, before resting his eyes on my belly.

 _Is it ever,_ I think.

Lee is feeding off my nerves, fiddling anxiously while Mushi pours the tea. "What's taking so long?"

"Maybe the Earth King overslept?" Mushi offers, eliciting a giggle from Cami.

A moment later a group of men in dark robes file silently into the room. No one speaks as they form a loose circle around us. My heart is hammering in my chest at this point, even Cami's smile falters.

"Something's not right…" Lee mutters. His gaze pans over the men surrounding us.

"It's tea time…" A feminine voice purrs. A quick glance reveals a young woman prowling lazily behind us. She is alert, despite her languid pace.

Lee is on his feet in an instant, his entire demeanor darkening. "Azula!" All the progress we made, all the light and growth disappears in an instant. The same battered young man that I saw that day in the staring has returned.

"Zuzu! Have you met the Dai Li? They're Earthbenders but they have a killer Instinct that is _so_ firebender. I just love it." Her tone is light, and full of malice. Her eyes come to rest on Cami and I a moment later, narrowing. "And who do we have here?"

"No one," Lee snaps instantly. "Just some girls we hired to help us at the shop." I know he is lying to protect us but it still stings. I am just some girl, and not the one carrying his child.

She raises an eyebrow in such a way that I know she doesn't buy it. A slight nod and two Dai Li agents muscle me and Cami out of the circle.

"Hey!" Cami tries to protest, but the men have an iron grip. I stay silent, too many thoughts and emotions running through my head. Lee doesn't even look at me.

Mushi picks up a steaming cup of tea as he casually asks, "Did I ever tell you how I got the nickname 'the dragon of the west'?"

"I'm not interested in a lengthy anecdote, uncle," the girl, Azula waves him off.

I glance at Cami, her face has paled. She looks back and forth between Lee, Mushi and Azula, understanding of whatever dynamic I'm missing appearing on her face.

"It's more of a demonstration really…" Mushi takes a long sip of tea, while the rest of us look on. Lee slips behind him right before flames pour from his mouth, blasting the Dai Li through the nearby wall.

Fire. My mouth falls agape. I turn to meet the grim expression on Cami's face. The dragon of the west. It is all starting to come together in my mind.

"Run!" Mushi yells, willing us to take advantage of the diversion.

We follow as they sprint toward a window, Mushi bursting through in a rush of fire and lightning. I wish I could attribute it to my imagination.

"Come on!" He calls up to us. "You'll be fine."

Lee shakes his head, refusing to look at me. "No. I'm tired of running. It's time I faced Azula."

"Lee…" I pause, my hand hesitating in where it's reaching for him. Suddenly I don't even know if that is his name. I know nothing about him. But it doesn't matter. "Whatever you're going to do, please don't."

He stares hard at me. "You don't understand, Ayumi, I'm not who you think I am."

"I don't care!" I blurt out, grabbing his wrist with my good hand. All I know is he can't go back in there. An image of the Blue Dragon flashes across my mind. Her voice…

"Ayumi," Cami says gently, her gaze fixed in wonder and fear on Lee. "He's really not who…"

"It doesn't matter!" I insist, tightening my grip on Lee's wrist. I don't want to hear the truth. "We can figure this out."

"No, we can't." He wrenches his arm away, refusing to look at me. "You'll understand one day, even if you don't now. Just know I'm sorry, and that I meant everything I ever said to you."

He is saying goodbye. I stand in stunned silence as he moves back towards the hall, determined to face this Azula. After a moment of hesitation I follow.

"Ayumi!" Cami hisses, scrambling after me. She grabs me just before I can enter the hall, pulling me aside. "You can't go in there."

"I have to," I say numbly, watching as Lee approaches Azula.

"Don't you know who he is?" Cami growls, not loosening her grip on me.

I don't care. I refuse to admit it. And so I stay silent as the two stare off at each other.

"You're so dramatic, Zuko. What, are you going to challenge me to an agni Kai?" Azula drawls, her voice full of amusement. It stings to hear his real name aloud.

"Yes!" Zuko snaps. "I challenge you." The name suits him, despite my wishing it wouldn't. His name is Zuko.

"No thanks!" Azula says easily, her tone egging him on.

Zuko steps back, summoning a ball of fire and propelling it at her. At the last minute the Dai Li block the attack with a slab of earth. All I can register is the fire. Zuko is a firebender. Of course Zuko is a firebender, I know exactly who he is. I just don't want to accept it.

He fires more blasts in quick succession, which she easily blocks. The Dai Li launch an assault with rocks, battering him again and again. I can't take it, I sprint into the hall, ignoring Cami's protests. I don't care who he was, only what he is to me.

Zuko turns towards me and time slows. "Ayumi, no!"

A wicked grin spreads across Azula's face at the sight of his exposed back and as I run, I feel the pressure in the air change. My hair stands on end. Yet still I push towards him.

I see the blue arc explode from her hand, inch by inch, blinding. It crawls toward Zuko, and all at once I see my vision. Azula is a dragon, and my good arm stretches out towards the lightning. I command its attention, I will it to come to me. I know what that means. But destiny is a funny thing, and I am not afraid.

I no longer hear a sound. The lightning is almost to me. Zuko's expression changes, horror writing itself upon his face. I want to tell him it's ok, but there is no time for words.

The lightning hits my extended fingertip. It tingles against my skin, but does not burn. I can feel it coursing down through my arm, pulsing like blood through my veins, down, down, down. It reaches my chest then, pure energy that forces my heart to beat faster, although still in slow motion. Then it hits my stomach. And then time speeds up.

It has nowhere to go. I can not lift my other arm to send it out of me. So it is that I begin to burn. Pure energy is trapped in my body, illuminating me from the inside out. I have never known so much pain. Is this death?

And then, nothing. Peaceful nothing.


End file.
